6 October, 2022

New “Farmers Onion” Iced Coffee flavour only popular with one man

In a bold new move by South Australia’s highest selling beverage company, the new Farmer’s Union, “Farmer’s Onion” Iced Coffee flavour has been released, with extremely low initial sales.

The new Farmers Onion drink was an initiative to support the State’s Onion Farmers, combining the classic Iced Coffee Flavour with raw South Australian onions.

Sales figures have however indicated that only one person is continually purchasing Farmer’s Onion Iced Coffee

‘It’s all about creating local jobs’, said Farmer’s Union spokesperson Dianne Beaties ‘we heard the onion industry was struggling with drought conditions, so we thought what better way to boost the economy than releasing a limited edition “Farmer’s Onion” drink’.

Sales figures have however indicated that only one person is continually purchasing Farmer’s Onion Iced Coffee, with all sales either being in the electorate of Warringah, New South Wales, or certain corner delis around Canberra.

In order to undertake some investigative journalism, Adelaide Mail attempted to gain some cartons Farmer’s Onion Iced Coffee to sample free of charge, but our efforts did not prevail and we were just accused of “ripping off the onion”.

However, our sources state it still tastes better than that Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee Edge.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Rohan Neagle for submitting this headline idea, he’s a huge supporter of us for some reason and therefore probably a nice enough guy.

Related Posts

Maslin Beach declared as exposure site (but has nothing to do with COVID-19)

21 July, 2021

21 July, 2021

With the list of local COVID-19 exposure sites growing quicker than that bloke behind the bushes, another has been added...

LEAKED: Shortlist of Port Adelaide’s other proposed new logos

15 October, 2019

15 October, 2019

Following the unveiling of Port Adelaide Football Club’s new logo commemorating the club’s 23rd year anniversary, Adelaide Mail can reveal...

Noel’s Caravans jingle tops SA reggae charts for 728th consecutive week

19 October, 2018

19 October, 2018

For over a decade the laid back calypso beats and offbeat feeling of the Noel’s Caravans jingle has been so...

Salesman optimistic about selling in-ground pool to family holding Bertie Beetle showbags

31 August, 2018

31 August, 2018

When it comes to closing the deal, Christian Levolsi backs himself like few other salesmen, so when he was faced...

Local dealer making absolute bank thanks to Illuminate Adelaide

8 July, 2022

8 July, 2022

Adelaide’s festival of lights (the non-religious one) has unintentionally stimulated the local economy, according to local stimulant economists. Adelaide Mail...

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

21 January, 2019

21 January, 2019

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace...

Another bloody comedian writes “I thought this was supposed to be satire” on Adelaide Mail post

17 September, 2020

17 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT He’s done it again! Everyone loves it when Rob chimes in on a conversation with one of his...

Munno Para driverless bus somehow involved in road rage incident

17 July, 2019

17 July, 2019 1

A minibus that operates without anybody behind the steering wheel has somehow become embroiled in a road rage incident in...

Nobody really sure if the Red Tins thing is sarcastic or not

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

From twenty-somethings happily sharing the same beer with their fathers to bar owners happily off-loading their surplus of West End...

Gepps Cross Home HQ responsible for 30% of SA divorces

10 February, 2022

10 February, 2022 1

Researchers have found that nearly a third of all South Australian divorces can be contributed directly to a single source,...

50sixone to enforce minimum Instagram follower count policy for all diners

4 July, 2018

4 July, 2018

Diners of trendy dessert cafe 50sixone might need to rethink their after-dinner plans tonight following a change in policy from...

After stealing our Grand Prix, Melbourne now steals our idea of cancelling a motor race

6 July, 2021

6 July, 2021

After stealing the Formula 1 Grand Prix from Adelaide in 1996, Melbourne has once again stolen a South Australian motorsport...

Bloke asking ‘Which Freeway do you mean?’ definitely not from here

5 November, 2019

5 November, 2019

A motorist who stopped at a Glen Osmond Road service station for directions to the closest mechanical likeness of a mythical...

North Adelaide resident whinging about having nothing to whinge about

18 June, 2020

18 June, 2020

MATT FREEMAN The Adelaide Oval Stadium Management Authority isn’t the only one suffering with the lack of crowds at Adelaide...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: