31 March, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today we are here to bring you a shocking truth.

Unnamed sources have brought to our knowledge that one of the CBD’s better pubs has been falsely giving consumers the impression their establishment exceeds official standardised star ratings by two whole stars, putting itself on par with Dubai’s Burj Al Arab hotel.

However, a nine-month undercover investigation by Adelaide Mail journalists, which was later confirmed by a minute-long Google search, reveals that this is in-fact not the case.

It appears that the so-called Seven Stars Hotel, only has an average of a 4.3 star rating from over 250 people. Whilst this is admittedly still a very good average, particularly when you take into account boomers who rated it low stating “never been.., why you asked me,…” and “just went for meeting”, the hotel is clearly misleading the Adelaide public.

We contacted the so-called “Seven Stars” for comment, to which they replied ‘this hotel has been here and called this since the 1850’s, whereas the standardised star-rating system did not come into place until over 100 years later in the 1960’s. Clearly this is just the name of the hotel and in no way implies that we exceed the standardised star-rating. This is obviously a non-matter and you’re probably just looking for a story you can run on a slow news day in Adelaide’.

The Adelaide Mail deny these claims and find this explanation completely unreasonable. We in turn demanded that the hotel either change its name to “The 4.3 Stars Hotel” or lift its standard by including a roof-top swimming pool, a butler for every patron, a helipad and international performers appearing on a weekly basis.

The hotel responded to these demands stating everything will stay the same, but they’ll let us have half a platter of arancini balls leftover from a business function if we turn this hit-piece into a positive review. Now that is the kind of hospitality that you don’t get from many pubs in the Adelaide CBD these days.

The arancini balls were still somewhat warm, but tasted divine with a hint of wild mushroom and rosemary. We washed these down with a choice of local cold tap beer from their wide selection behind the modern, yet laid-back and relaxing, bar.

A hotel that truly lives up to its name with great service, quality food and an exciting atmosphere, the Adelaide Mail rates The Seven Stars 7 out of 5.

Related Posts

Jase reckons he could have his own Fringe show, mates agree

18 February, 2019

18 February, 2019

After having watched exactly 275 minutes of stand up comedy in his life, Jason ‘Jase’ Breadhand became convinced of his...

Single guy reckons going to Urrbrae qualifies him for ‘Farmer Wants a Wife’

19 August, 2019

19 August, 2019

Local bachelor, avid vaper, and Urrbrae dropout Nick Telecom has been looking for love for some time now, he told...

Campbelltown man installs sprinklers to water concrete while he’s on holiday

12 July, 2018

12 July, 2018

A Campbelltown man has installed a state-of-the-art, new sprinkler system to continue a strict routine of concrete watering over his...

Something a little off about this 40 year old bloke still listening to Fresh FM

19 December, 2018

19 December, 2018

Kristy just introduced this Darren guy to the group, and he seems nice and all, but we’re just not too...

Exposé: Balfours caught using caged footballs for pies

4 September, 2018

4 September, 2018

In a shocking discovery by Adelaide Mail undercover journalists, it has come to light that Balfours is keeping the footballs...

Rundle Mall buskers now allowed to expand their repertoire beyond Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’

17 December, 2018

17 December, 2018

In a controversial move, the Adelaide City Council has agreed to a trial period where buskers can perform songs that...

Residents of Shithöle angered at being compared to Adelaide

25 September, 2019

25 September, 2019

The small village of Shithöle lies somewhere along the Eastern European poverty belt’s poverty belt, near the disputed border of...

Bloke asking ‘Which Freeway do you mean?’ definitely not from here

5 November, 2019

5 November, 2019

A motorist who stopped at a Glen Osmond Road service station for directions to the closest mechanical likeness of a mythical...

“Melbourne is so much better” says girl who couldn’t afford to live there

16 July, 2019

16 July, 2019

Having recently moved back to Adelaide after a brief stint in Australia’s most consistently overcast city, polaroid photography student Edith...

Every Polites building to be heritage listed in 2020

6 September, 2019

6 September, 2019

In a surprising move by the SA Heritage Listing Council, it has been deemed that each and every Polites building...

Norwood cafe Argo to begin taking bookings for those who just want to line up

24 October, 2018

24 October, 2018

In a move described by industry experts as ‘revolutionary’, the popular eastern suburbs brunch spot Argo is to begin taking...

Bloke in bucket hat heads straight to Maslins bushes for some reason

8 November, 2019

8 November, 2019

A Gawler man has confounded onlookers upon his arrival at Adelaide’s Maslin Beach, appearing wearing a bucket hat, long pants...

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

1 July, 2019

1 July, 2019

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun...

Man who suggested synchronising traffic light sequences swiftly fired

30 September, 2019

30 September, 2019

A staff member from South Australia’s Department of Planning, Transport & Infrastructure has been fired from his role as a...

City dads mourn the closure of their sole fashion source

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

Dads from around Adelaide have gathered to pay silent tribute to their sole source of clothing and style advice following...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: