24 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

MATT FREEMAN

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head as to figure out why.

Pharmacy owner, Annelida Leach said ‘we haven’t seen such demand for lice medication in the city since white boys at university thought dreads were a good look for them’.

When questioned on this outbreak being blamed on carnies coming to town for the Fringe, Ms Leach said ‘I don’t think it’s them, we’ve had people come in that haven’t been anywhere near any Fringe venues. We really don’t know what’s causing it’.

Scientists are equally as baffled as to the cause, given it’s not the peak breeding season for lice.

Waite Institute Entomologist, Professor Jack Bugg said ‘we’ve seen a massive explosion of the lice population in Adelaide. Modelling shows that the lice are spreading at speeds of up to 14.8 kph which is previously unheard of in such a small insect. Thankfully, for reasons we don’t quite fully understand yet, the epidemic seems to be restricted to the CBD’.

If you think you may have lice, Pharmacy Guild of South Australia spokesperson, Terri Lockhart had some good news and advice, ‘there’s no reason to panic as tankers full of KP-24 have come to Adelaide and are being bottled at the unused Coca Cola facility at Thebarton. We’ve also advised pharmacy owners to clear shelf space for this by removing the limit on the number of tins of baby formula people can purchase. This is very treatable, so visit your closest pharmacy, get the lotion and scoot off with a smile on your face’.

Related Posts

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

The real puzzle is how nobody died

6 August, 2019

6 August, 2019

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

Downer shares anti-vaxx post in attempt to gain Adelaide Hills mum voters

15 May, 2019

15 May, 2019

In a bold move to gain the Adelaide Hills young family voters demographic, Georgina has joined an anti-vaccination facebook group...

New RAH carpark awarded Adelaide’s most challenging escape room

18 January, 2019

18 January, 2019

Escape rooms have rapidly become all the rage with teenagers, lame corporate offices, and small groups of weird tight-knit friends...

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

SA Water announce new Adelaide theme park ‘Burst Water Main World’

8 August, 2019

8 August, 2019

In an attempt to diversify revenue streams ahead of its probable privatisation, SA Water has revealed plans to open its...

2001 Golden Grove High graduate still using the word ‘Gug’

2 January, 2019

2 January, 2019

Over 17 years since barely graduating from Golden Grove, Richard Mahogany of Greenwith continues to utilise obscure and almost obsolete...

Windy Point actually pronounced "Wine-dee" point because of the winding route to get there

15 November, 2019

15 November, 2019

Windy Point – You’re all saying it wrong! It turns out that we’ve all been saying the name of Adelaide’s...

ShitAdelaide changes name to MAFSadelaide

8 April, 2019

8 April, 2019

Originally a source of general ridicule at the expense of Adelaide’s drunk and poor, the mysterious owners behind Instagram account...

Guns N’ Roses actually pretty disappointed with Paradise city

24 July, 2019

24 July, 2019

During last year’s world tour, 80’s rock band Guns N’ Roses finally managed to make it to their ultimate destination,...

North East Road to be 100% service stations by 2026

9 January, 2020

9 January, 2020

With the rise in popularity of X Convenience service stations and OTR’s “they build one, we build two” policy, urban planning experts have revealed that this exponential growth will lead to North East Road becoming entirely lined with service stations by mid-2026.

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

1 July, 2019

1 July, 2019

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun...

We take a look back at 'Crow Milk’ and the diabetes epidemic it caused

2 December, 2019

2 December, 2019

In the wake of current local flavoured milk wars, let’s take a moment to remember a simpler time in South...

Ingle Farm shopping centre considering radical third Coles store

13 September, 2019

13 September, 2019

Following the success of the populist “A Chicken In Every Pot, Two Coles in Every Mall” plan, Ingle Farm Shopping...

Dad starts saving good Pageant spot now

24 October, 2019

24 October, 2019

With less than three weeks until the 2019 Christmas Pageant kicks off, father of three, Doug Float, is dedicated to...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: