8 August, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Stirling stoner claims local chemist name is misleading

An Adelaide Hills stay-at-home adult daughter and Oreos connoisseur Chakra Vortwenti is claiming that the name of her local pharmacy “The Green Dispensary” is deliberately misleading her and fellow marijuana enthusiasts. 

‘“Green Dispensary”? C’mon, really? What else could that possibly be?’ Vortwenti condescendingly giggled.

With the rise of legal cannabis dispensaries in the United States, one may argue that the name of local chemist chain “The Green Dispensary” could be somewhat confusing, but probably only to stoners who watch too much American TV.

Adelaide Mail contacted the Stirling Green Dispensary spokeswoman Penny Sillan who stated ‘No, we don’t dispense marijuana, and it’s very rare that we get asked for it. Although, not quite as rare as vaccination requests, it is Stirling afterall’.

The disappointed stoner left the chemist with only some Visene eye-drops instead of some sweet sticky icky icky, because when you’re wearing a Bob Marley shirt, a rasta hat and stink like weed, it’s definitely the eyes that give it away.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Keith Conlon announced as new drummer for I Killed The Prom Queen

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

In a bold new move by Adelaide’s metalcore kings I Killed The Prom Queen, the announcement of veteran radio broadcaster...

New SA tourism campaign just a 5 day live stream of weeping widow

2 September, 2019

2 September, 2019

South Australia’s tourism commission has unveiled a new marketing concept that is equal parts depressing and long, the two key...

Cyberbullying teens never okay…unless it’s Caleb Bond and it’s really funny

18 March, 2019

18 March, 2019

Cyberbullying is a cowardly act, which can be particularly harmful when aimed at teens. However, in the wake of anti-bullying...

Valley Butchers unsure why anybody would be offended by new sign

18 September, 2019

18 September, 2019

An Adelaide butcher who was found to have breached advertising standards by displaying a sign that read ‘Non Halal Certified’...

Modbury man and Brighton woman begin long-distance relationship

3 May, 2019

3 May, 2019

Finding love isn’t always easy, but a couple from opposite sides of the city are trying to defy all odds...

North Adelaide resident whinging about having nothing to whinge about

18 June, 2020

18 June, 2020

MATT FREEMAN The Adelaide Oval Stadium Management Authority isn’t the only one suffering with the lack of crowds at Adelaide...

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2019-20 Federal Budget, Josh didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table and...

TAFE SA qualifications now offered on Foodland dockets with purchase over $40

3 December, 2018

3 December, 2018

The aftermath of controversy, audits, resignations, misconduct and corruption has led to TAFE SA taking drastic measures to ensure qualifications...

New RAH carpark awarded Adelaide’s most challenging escape room

18 January, 2019

18 January, 2019

Escape rooms have rapidly become all the rage with teenagers, lame corporate offices, and small groups of weird tight-knit friends...

Adelaide Fashion Festival just showcasing whatever is on sale at Harris Scarfe

20 October, 2018

20 October, 2018

The State’s leading fashion event is currently underway in Adelaide, with designers, runway models, socialites, and critics flying in from...

Just FYI, that Whispering Wall is a dirty snitch

15 July, 2020

15 July, 2020

DAM SNITCH: We all have secrets. Some large, some small, some downright incriminating. But when we confide in someone or...

Barossa local, who definitely has bigger things to worry about now, is angry you’re saying NuriOOPTA

30 March, 2020

30 March, 2020

Of all the things that a Barossa Valley resident could be getting angry at right now, Larry Hyphen-Colon has chosen...

Send help. Stuck in traffic on Copper Coast Hwy. Tell wife I love her

28 January, 2019

28 January, 2019

It’s been fourteen hours since I left the campsite at Innes National Park, we thought that we were getting a...

CBD co-workers from opposite sides of city pretend to know where each other live

5 October, 2018

5 October, 2018

As Harry North and Belinda Southeast sat down for lunch at their CBD workplace, conversation turned to the weekend and...

“Should have seen it coming” – Mr Bankrupt on his business’s bankruptcy

2 November, 2018

2 November, 2018

The saying goes that hindsight is twenty-twenty, and that rings true for nobody more than former Adelaide business tycoon Mr...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: