28 October, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

You can still take the kids to Puzzle Park this school holidays, it’s now somehow safer

DAN SCHMIDT

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned in scrub-land near Murray Bridge.

But that doesn’t mean the kids of today should miss out on the joy and third-degree slide burns that we all endured as children. In fact, you can still take a day trip to Murray Bridge (just remember to lock the car doors) and experience all the wonder of life before Health and Safety laws that Puzzle Park holds.

Sure, it’s a relatively abandoned hell hole, but just south of Murray Bridge, you will find it’s actually pretty easy to help the young ones climb the fence and have a great day out.

Somehow, the park is now as safe as it’s ever been. The overgrown grass breaks the falls from great heights, the rusted metal has slowed all the turning mechanisms, and with the park gates closed there are fewer potential kidnappers compared to the 80’s and 90’s.

Editor’s note: Yes, this is essentially just a rebranded story of “The real puzzle is how nobody died”. This is all free and we’re busy people, what more do you want?

in Life, News
Related Posts

Lucindale starts with the clingy texts after a one night stand

17 September, 2019

17 September, 2019

As the dust settles in the usually quiet town in our State’s South-East and life starts to return to normal,...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

On the opening day of South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival, a six year old child has been found...

Para Hills resident claims she’s from the Adelaide Hills

14 February, 2019

14 February, 2019

Seeking to up her social status and property value, Brittney Mounts of Para Hills has decided that her suburb counts...

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

SA Govt stops tourists entering state from late March under “Operation Business As Usual”

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

From 4pm today South Australia will close its borders to all non-essential visitors in response to the spread of COVID-19....

EXCLUSIVE: Turns out that worm from The Book Place was actually played by a giant tapeworm

10 July, 2020

10 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Here’s a nostalgia hit for kids who grew up in the 90s, remember the Bookworm? He was that...

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

2 February, 2019

2 February, 2019

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours...

Local tweaker very disappointed with “OG Speed Shop”

29 July, 2020

29 July, 2020

Local jaw-clenching and awake enthusiast, Aymon DeGear has voiced his disappointment with a Klemzig service station, claiming they are falsely...

Frome Street bikeway to be extremely beneficial for cyclist with very specific, straight 1.8km commute

29 August, 2018

29 August, 2018

After months of work, traffic restrictions, and millions of dollars spent, the new Frome Street bikeway is nearing completion and...

Bloke asking ‘Which Freeway do you mean?’ definitely not from here

5 November, 2019

5 November, 2019

A motorist who stopped at a Glen Osmond Road service station for directions to the closest mechanical likeness of a mythical...

How many of these top 10 ultimate 90’s Adelaide moments do you remember?

13 August, 2020

13 August, 2020

NOT CLICKBAIT! The top 10 90's Adelaide moments.

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2020-21 Federal Budget, Josh didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table and...

Peter Van the Party Man really just wants a quiet night in with the kids

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

It’s been over thirty years of non-stop debauchery for Goodwood Road’s most-famous party man Peter Van, but his days of...

“Stop all these bloody Adelaide city highrises” says Willunga resident

1 August, 2018

1 August, 2018

Gerald Manser, 62, of Willunga has had enough of CBD development. On his yearly trip to the city for a...

Adelaide 36ers to change name to “Adelaide BCers” to honour traditional landowners

8 September, 2020

8 September, 2020

MATT FREEMAN With the Washington Redskins finally realizing the bloody obvious, that their nickname is actually racially offensive, the Adelaide...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: