24 October, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

You can still take the kids to Puzzle Park this school holidays, it’s now somehow safer

DAN SCHMIDT

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned in scrub-land near Murray Bridge.

But that doesn’t mean the kids of today should miss out on the joy and third-degree slide burns that we all endured as children. In fact, you can still take a day trip to Murray Bridge (just remember to lock the car doors) and experience all the wonder of life before Health and Safety laws that Puzzle Park holds.

Sure, it’s a relatively abandoned hell hole, but just south of Murray Bridge, you will find it’s actually pretty easy to help the young ones climb the fence and have a great day out.

Somehow, the park is now as safe as it’s ever been. The overgrown grass breaks the falls from great heights, the rusted metal has slowed all the turning mechanisms, and with the park gates closed there are fewer potential kidnappers compared to the 80’s and 90’s.

Editor’s note: Yes, this is essentially just a rebranded story of “The real puzzle is how nobody died”. This is all free and we’re busy people, what more do you want?

in Life, News
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