6 September, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

New tourism campaign vows to get “Visitors Back To SA, Tours Back At Wineries, and Cars Back On O-Bahn”

DAN SCHMIDT

As tourists begin to return to South Australia, the SA Tourism Travel Trekking Transport Traffic & Traversing Taskforce (SATTTTTTT) has unveiled a plan to ensure interstate and overseas guests can get back to doing what they love in South Australia.

‘We’ve had a slight increase in interstate arrivals of late, but now we want to get overseas visitors back’, said SATTTTTTT co-deputy-vice marketing officer Trav Allure ‘We want to showcase all the things tourists love about SA’.

‘Whether it be touring the Barossa, attending our festivals, and of course, driving a car on the O-Bahn tracks’.

Statistics show that private vehicle O-Bahn patronage has dramatically dropped over the past two years, which has decimated the north-eastern suburban crane industry and also, thankfully, Adelaide Mail content.

‘Tourists love nothing more than renting a car from the airport, neglecting to take out the extra insurance coverage, driving around at their own leisure, and having a couple of cheeky wine tastings at Penfolds before inevitably ignoring all traffic signs and ending up stuck on the O-Bahn tracks’.

‘It’s a long held tradition and actually the fourth highest rated Adelaide tourist experience on Tripadvisor…I mean it is fourth out of six, but still, way ahead of shopping at Rundle Mall’.

Trav Allure continued ‘It has been nice a few locals have privately patronised the O-Bahn of late, just to keep business flowing. But it’s time to get tourists back where they belong, in the Hertz rental office explaining why the Hyundai i30 oil sump is missing’.

Related Posts

BREAKING: Modbury Hospital still a really fugly building

19 July, 2021

19 July, 2021 1

With news of a positive COVID-19 case in the North-East suburbs, we hope that it is fully vaccinated against the...

OTR owners to install giant sun-blocking device over Adelaide

18 December, 2018

18 December, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have proposed an eternal solution to guaranteeing demand for 24/7 convenience stores and...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

14 October, 2018

14 October, 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

‘You can’t pay off COVID fines using free drink cards’, Zhivago owners told

20 July, 2020

20 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT After copping thousands of dollars in fines for breaking COVID-19 restrictions, the owners of Zhivago have been told...

Tea Tree Plaza puts out Halloween decorations

25 October, 2021

25 October, 2021

Getting into the spooky spirit of things, Modbury’s fourth best shopping centre has donned a festive witches hat to celebrate...

Windy Point actually pronounced “Wine-dee” point because of the winding route to get there

15 November, 2019

15 November, 2019

Windy Point – You’re all saying it wrong! It turns out that we’ve all been saying the name of Adelaide’s...

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

5 February, 2020

5 February, 2020

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER. Within a manicured low-maintenance...

Advertiser censors front page advertisement

21 October, 2019

21 October, 2019

Putting up a united front against secrecy and journalistic censorship, South Australia’s leading satirical news service has joined multiple papers...

Local hip-hop trio find religion, rename themselves ‘Hillsong Hoods’

29 May, 2019

29 May, 2019

In a move that has shocked the hip-hop community, Adelaide’s most influential hip-hop group, Hilltop Hoods, have announced a change...

REPORT: Tim Noonan really just a poor man’s Xavier Minniecon

10 January, 2020

10 January, 2020

After eighteen months of exhaustive studies, researchers are still unable to formally identify what the hell Channel Seven Weather Presenter...

Hills Hoist and Cask Wine sales data significantly correlated for some unknown reason

27 August, 2018

27 August, 2018

Statisticians and data analysts have been left completely baffled at the strongly correlated sales data of two South Australian icons....

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading