28 February, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

Dan Schmidt

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER.

Within a manicured low-maintenance garden wearing a POWER shirt and POWER scarf, this POWER “fan” is always giving a cocky thumbs up to passers by, implying his knowledge and a positive attitude about the club.

Deciding to test how much of a “fan” he really is, Adelaide Mail reporters decided to spring an interview on the garden gnome, to see how much he really knows about the club. Because, as we all know as South Australians, if someone doesn’t know everything (or at least as much as you) about the team, they clearly aren’t a real supporter.

We led the interview with some questions that can be difficult for Port Adelaide fans to answer. “Who are the oldest running football club in the State?” we asked first, to which he didn’t reply (and also, it’s not Port Adelaide, so get over it). Then we asked “What was the margin in the 2007 AFL Grand Final?’, again no answer.

“Tell us literally anything about the POWER!”

Clearly exposing this gnome for the nuffy they really are, we started asking them some basic questions that even the average thick-skulled POWER supporter could answer “Who is the Captain?”, “Sing the club song”, “What are the club colours?”, “What is the most common fruit for racist fans to throw?”. Nothing.

In the end, it is clear that we’ve exposed this fake fan. They knew nothing of the club, players or even the actual game. Still, they somehow displayed much more knowledge than the average Crows fan.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

New SA retail forecast in: All Rundle Mall shops to shut by 2021

21 February, 2020

21 February, 2020

The latest numbers are in for South Australia’s economy, and it’s not good news for the state’s struggling retail sector....

Casual Crows fan unsure if he’s supposed to love or hate Tex this week

3 June, 2019

3 June, 2019

With his form flip-flopping since the 2017 AFL Grand Final, Adelaide co-captain Taylor Walker has been the cause of much...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

Torrens NYE “just as good as Darling Harbour” says cash-strapped dad

30 December, 2018

30 December, 2018

Following intensive rallying by his two sons calling for a new year’s eve trip to Sydney, Walton Erudite has made...

New "Farmers Onion" Iced Coffee flavour only popular with one man

29 October, 2019

29 October, 2019

In a bold new move by South Australia’s highest selling beverage company, the new Farmer’s Union, “Farmer’s Onion” Iced Coffee...

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Something a little off about this 40 year old bloke still listening to Fresh FM

19 December, 2018

19 December, 2018

Kristy just introduced this Darren guy to the group, and he seems nice and all, but we’re just not too...

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

21 January, 2019

21 January, 2019

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace...

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty's kilt

28 March, 2019

28 March, 2019

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results. ‘There’s...

We’re not convinced Kingswood is a real suburb either

10 July, 2018

10 July, 2018

While we’d be the first to admit that we’ve not looked into this too closely, we’re just not ready to...

Noel’s Caravans jingle tops SA reggae charts for 728th consecutive week

19 October, 2018

19 October, 2018

For over a decade the laid back calypso beats and offbeat feeling of the Noel’s Caravans jingle has been so...

ShitAdelaide changes name to MAFSadelaide

8 April, 2019

8 April, 2019

Originally a source of general ridicule at the expense of Adelaide’s drunk and poor, the mysterious owners behind Instagram account...

Bloke’s tailbone still recovering after tobogganing over the jumps at Mt Thebarton

4 December, 2018

4 December, 2018

When a 14-year-old Alex Dangerfield visited Mt Thebarton in 1995 to experience tobogganing for the first time, he did not...

Lucindale starts with the clingy texts after a one night stand

17 September, 2019

17 September, 2019

As the dust settles in the usually quiet town in our State’s South-East and life starts to return to normal,...

AdBlocker removes entire AdelaideNow website

22 July, 2019

22 July, 2019

As Gavin Alook was searching for an old news article about the time his school actually figured out what the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: