31 March, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER.

Within a manicured low-maintenance garden wearing a POWER shirt and POWER scarf, this POWER “fan” is always giving a cocky thumbs up to passers by, implying his knowledge and a positive attitude about the club.

Deciding to test how much of a “fan” he really is, Adelaide Mail reporters decided to spring an interview on the garden gnome, to see how much he really knows about the club. Because, as we all know as South Australians, if someone doesn’t know everything (or at least as much as you) about the team, they clearly aren’t a real supporter.

We led the interview with some questions that can be difficult for Port Adelaide fans to answer. “Who are the oldest running football club in the State?” we asked first, to which he didn’t reply (and also, it’s not Port Adelaide, so get over it). Then we asked “What was the margin in the 2007 AFL Grand Final?’, again no answer.

“Tell us literally anything about the POWER!”

Clearly exposing this gnome for the nuffy they really are, we started asking them some basic questions that even the average thick-skulled POWER supporter could answer “Who is the Captain?”, “Sing the club song”, “What are the club colours?”, “What is the most common fruit for racist fans to throw?”. Nothing.

In the end, it is clear that we’ve exposed this fake fan. They knew nothing of the club, players or even the actual game. Still, they somehow displayed much more knowledge than the average Crows fan.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

Business on former site of Barnacle Bill is not fooling anyone

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Editor’s note: The most knowledgeable person on all things South Australian (that we know about, at least) Dave Walsh has...

Far-Ken Hall! Adelaide’s biggest plumber goes rural

2 October, 2019

2 October, 2019

Adelaide’s biggest plumbing business, Ken Hall Plumbers is expanding its operations across rural South Australia. Marketing manager for Ken Hall...

Man goes to Glenelg for New Year’s under impression it may be good

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

A local Adelaide man will tonight undertake what many South Australians have fallen trap to in the past. As a...

Ingle Farm bachelor applies for ‘Farmer wants a wife’

8 February, 2019

8 February, 2019

Tired of the local dating scene and not being able to find a girl who will settle down, or even...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

Old Commodore parked by Kuitpo signals start of ‘shroom season

18 June, 2019

18 June, 2019

A TRIP TO THE FOREST: Psychedelic Mushroom hunting season was declared open last week with the initiatory shitbox sighting on Brookman...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

ShitAdelaide changes name to MAFSadelaide

8 April, 2019

8 April, 2019

Originally a source of general ridicule at the expense of Adelaide’s drunk and poor, the mysterious owners behind Instagram account...

SA Water announce new Adelaide theme park ‘Burst Water Main World’

8 August, 2019

8 August, 2019

In an attempt to diversify revenue streams ahead of its probable privatisation, SA Water has revealed plans to open its...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

Casual Crows fan unsure if he’s supposed to love or hate Tex this week

3 June, 2019

3 June, 2019

With his form flip-flopping since the 2017 AFL Grand Final, Adelaide co-captain Taylor Walker has been the cause of much...

New Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee merchandise instantly sells out of 5XL sizing

27 June, 2019

27 June, 2019

With Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee desperately trying to target the insta-millennial market with their new line of merchandise, the new...

Turns out Christies Beach sludge spill just rejected Caleb Bond articles

13 November, 2018

13 November, 2018

A break-in at the Christies Beach sewage treatment plant has seen the nearby beach closed for a stretch of 200...

Pray for Kane: Cornes forced to scrap next six months of story ideas

4 September, 2019

4 September, 2019

Kane Cornes’s media career has been thrown into disarray after Adelaide Crows co-captain Taylor Walker announced that he will be...

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: