15 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER.

Within a manicured low-maintenance garden wearing a POWER shirt and POWER scarf, this POWER “fan” is always giving a cocky thumbs up to passers by, implying his knowledge and a positive attitude about the club.

Deciding to test how much of a “fan” he really is, Adelaide Mail reporters decided to spring an interview on the garden gnome, to see how much he really knows about the club. Because, as we all know as South Australians, if someone doesn’t know everything (or at least as much as you) about the team, they clearly aren’t a real supporter.

We led the interview with some questions that can be difficult for Port Adelaide fans to answer. “Who are the oldest running football club in the State?” we asked first, to which he didn’t reply (and also, it’s not Port Adelaide, so get over it). Then we asked “What was the margin in the 2007 AFL Grand Final?’, again no answer.

“Tell us literally anything about the POWER!”

Clearly exposing this gnome for the nuffy they really are, we started asking them some basic questions that even the average thick-skulled POWER supporter could answer “Who is the Captain?”, “Sing the club song”, “What are the club colours?”, “What is the most common fruit for racist fans to throw?”. Nothing.

In the end, it is clear that we’ve exposed this fake fan. They knew nothing of the club, players or even the actual game. Still, they somehow displayed much more knowledge than the average Crows fan.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

No media bias: For every negative Power article, we run at least 0.2 negative Crows articles

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

SHOWDOWN WEEK: It’s often stated that there is a media bias in South Australia when it comes to our AFL...

Unique SA strain of virus now being found in Victoria

15 March, 2020

15 March, 2020

DIRK SPUD In worrying signs that we may be reaching a point of no return when it comes to its...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Terrified Glynde residents flee after active volcano discovered in area

15 May, 2020

15 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Residents of the inner north-eastern suburb of Glynde are reportedly fleeing the area in droves after an active...

Premier announces, then promptly cancels, Adelaide’s new “Everything Is Cancelled” Festival

6 November, 2020

6 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In-keeping with the (now surely understood to be ironic) title of Australia’s Best Events State, South Australia has...

Modbury man and Brighton woman begin long-distance relationship

3 May, 2019

3 May, 2019

Finding love isn’t always easy, but a couple from opposite sides of the city are trying to defy all odds...

PAC old scholar furious at suggestion he went to Saints

10 September, 2018

10 September, 2018

An enraged former student of Adelaide’s prestigious Prince Alfred College has slammed suggestions that he attended the equally-esteemed St Peter’s...

Lucy Cornes confronts Martin Scorsese for stealing that Goodfellas tracking shot from her

10 February, 2020

10 February, 2020

Founder of digital marketing agency She Digital and self-described ‘Spiritual Being’ Lucy Cornes has taken to social media to accuse...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

Another bloody comedian writes “I thought this was supposed to be satire” on Adelaide Mail post

17 September, 2020

17 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT He’s done it again! Everyone loves it when Rob chimes in on a conversation with one of his...

We’re not convinced Kingswood is a real suburb either

10 July, 2018

10 July, 2018

While we’d be the first to admit that we’ve not looked into this too closely, we’re just not ready to...

Suburb of Devon Park to be renamed Fritz Park

7 January, 2019

7 January, 2019

In an act of South Australian patriotism, a successful campaign by residents has led to the inner north suburb of...

City dads mourn the closure of their sole fashion source

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

Dads from around Adelaide have gathered to pay silent tribute to their sole source of clothing and style advice following...

Ingle Farm shopping centre considering radical third Coles store

13 September, 2019

13 September, 2019

Following the success of the populist “A Chicken In Every Pot, Two Coles in Every Mall” plan, Ingle Farm Shopping...

Port Power to continue playing to empty stadiums amid crowd ban

11 March, 2020

11 March, 2020

TOM STEWART Port Power are reportedly excited for “business as usual” this season, as the AFL is speculated to announce...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: