30 November, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER.

Within a manicured low-maintenance garden wearing a POWER shirt and POWER scarf, this POWER “fan” is always giving a cocky thumbs up to passers by, implying his knowledge and a positive attitude about the club.

Deciding to test how much of a “fan” he really is, Adelaide Mail reporters decided to spring an interview on the garden gnome, to see how much he really knows about the club. Because, as we all know as South Australians, if someone doesn’t know everything (or at least as much as you) about the team, they clearly aren’t a real supporter.

We led the interview with some questions that can be difficult for Port Adelaide fans to answer. “Who are the oldest running football club in the State?” we asked first, to which he didn’t reply (and also, it’s not Port Adelaide, so get over it). Then we asked “What was the margin in the 2007 AFL Grand Final?’, again no answer.

“Tell us literally anything about the POWER!”

Clearly exposing this gnome for the nuffy they really are, we started asking them some basic questions that even the average thick-skulled POWER supporter could answer “Who is the Captain?”, “Sing the club song”, “What are the club colours?”, “What is the most common fruit for racist fans to throw?”. Nothing.

In the end, it is clear that we’ve exposed this fake fan. They knew nothing of the club, players or even the actual game. Still, they somehow displayed much more knowledge than the average Crows fan.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

ShitAdelaide blocked us now we have to go outside to laugh at the poor

28 June, 2019

28 June, 2019

Having come to rely on a local Instagram account as our conduit to the outside world, our schedule had come...

Sign at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre explains a lot about North Eastern suburbs fashion

6 February, 2020

6 February, 2020

A sign proclaiming Ingle Farm Shopping Centre to be ‘your local place for fashion’ has been found to offer an...

Burnside SUV driver will definitely only be five minutes in the loading zone

20 July, 2018

20 July, 2018

Burnside stay-at-home daughter Jacinta Hyacinth was caught short this morning on her usual coffee meet with the girls at trendy...

Shoppers still avoiding Tea Tree Plaza (Not because of COVID, it’s just bad.)

29 July, 2021

29 July, 2021

As restrictions on shopping centres lift, many residents of the mighty North East are still choosing not to head to...

Phone lines jammed as 24 million Australians all ring Victor Harbor to check on Nan

17 March, 2020

17 March, 2020

TOM STEWART In what has become a serious test of the nation’s telecommunications infrastructure, 24 million phone calls were placed...

Calm down Jessica, it’s Lofty, not Everest

21 December, 2018

21 December, 2018

With a backpack full of rations, emergency supplies, and flares, Jessica Peak is fully equipped for her 3.9km Waterfall Gully to Mount...

Fringe show releases new promotional image following KKK backlash

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Adelaide Fringe has responded to an online petition urging them to pull support of a controversial BDSM show after an...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

Milo Kerrigan inducted into SA Sporting Hall of Fame

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

S-S-SOWWFORSTRAYLLEEYYAH: The SA Sporting Hall of Fame recognises sporting heroes that have helped shape South Australian culture and inspired our future...

Man goes to Glenelg for New Year’s under impression it may be good

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

A local Adelaide man will tonight undertake what many South Australians have fallen trap to in the past. As a...

Terrified Glynde residents flee after active volcano discovered in area

15 May, 2020

15 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Residents of the inner north-eastern suburb of Glynde are reportedly fleeing the area in droves after an active...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

Modbury man and Brighton woman begin long-distance relationship

3 May, 2019

3 May, 2019

Finding love isn’t always easy, but a couple from opposite sides of the city are trying to defy all odds...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: