28 March, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

Dan Schmidt

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace profiles are really something else.

As a news outlet, it is our job to make you fearful of what your teenager is definitely doing online, and then putting that information behind a paywall, in hopes to make a profit from information that is easily accessible elsewhere free of charge.

‘Teen Speak’ acronyms are extremely hard to decipher, often short acronyms with no clear meaning unless you are in ‘the know’. To investigate, we sent the entire Adelaide Mail team (two men in their thirties) undercover to act as fellow kids and infiltrate the world of teen speak.

After infiltrating a group of high school students and looking through their private text messages for prolonged periods of time, our reporters found something shocking. We initially thought it may have been innocent conversations about recreational drug-use, underage sex or selling Federal secrets to the Taliban, but we discovered something much worse.

After weeks of deciphering, our reporters found that teenagers were texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern Suburbs! Here’s the rundown on terms you should be on the lookout for, and definitely worried about:

SMH = Studying at Modbury High

LMAO = Let’s Meet At O-Bahn

SRSLY = Smart Road Shops’ Lovely Yoghurt

POS = Plaza Opens Soon

AF = At Fairview

BRB = Banksia’s Really Bad

IRL = I’m a Ridgehaven Local

PPL = Pelican Plaza’s Lit
WWYD = Water World’s Yucky Drains

TBH = Tonight, Behind Hoyts

FAM = Friends At Modbury

IKR =  I Know Redwood

G2G = Going to Greenwith

OMG = Oh My Gully-Gusher

FFS = Fox & Firkin’s Sick

GTG = Go The Gullies

AIA= Abducted In Anstey
ROFL = Redwood or Fairview later?
STFU = Sfera’s? The food’s ultimate!
LMK = Love my Klemzig
YOLO = Yatala over Ladywood Old-chap
NVM = Near Vista mate

WTF = Walking to Felixstow


If you are worried that your child may be texting about the north-east, please seek support, not from the Adelaide Mail however, as we have been directed not to have any contact with minors after several reports of stealing teenagers’ phones.

in Life, News
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