24 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace profiles are really something else.

As a news outlet, it is our job to make you fearful of what your teenager is definitely doing online, and then putting that information behind a paywall, in hopes to make a profit from information that is easily accessible elsewhere free of charge.

‘Teen Speak’ acronyms are extremely hard to decipher, often short acronyms with no clear meaning unless you are in ‘the know’. To investigate, we sent the entire Adelaide Mail team (two men in their thirties) undercover to act as fellow kids and infiltrate the world of teen speak.

After infiltrating a group of high school students and looking through their private text messages for prolonged periods of time, our reporters found something shocking. We initially thought it may have been innocent conversations about recreational drug-use, underage sex or selling Federal secrets to the Taliban, but we discovered something much worse.

After weeks of deciphering, our reporters found that teenagers were texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern Suburbs! Here’s the rundown on terms you should be on the lookout for, and definitely worried about:

SMH = Studying at Modbury High

LMAO = Let’s Meet At O-Bahn

SRSLY = Smart Road Shops’ Lovely Yoghurt

POS = Plaza Opens Soon

AF = At Fairview

BRB = Banksia’s Really Bad

IRL = I’m a Ridgehaven Local

PPL = Pelican Plaza’s Lit
WWYD = Water World’s Yucky Drains

TBH = Tonight, Behind Hoyts

FAM = Friends At Modbury

IKR =  I Know Redwood

G2G = Going to Greenwith

OMG = Oh My Gully-Gusher

FFS = Fox & Firkin’s Sick

GTG = Go The Gullies

AIA= Abducted In Anstey
ROFL = Redwood or Fairview later?
STFU = Sfera’s? The food’s ultimate!
LMK = Love my Klemzig
YOLO = Yatala over Ladywood Old-chap
NVM = Near Vista mate

WTF = Walking to Felixstow


If you are worried that your child may be texting about the north-east, please seek support, not from the Adelaide Mail however, as we have been directed not to have any contact with minors after several reports of stealing teenagers’ phones.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Haggle guy reckons he could still get a Caffe Primo meal for $9.90

5 July, 2019

5 July, 2019

Despite not having a $9.90 menu or the iconic South Australian television commercial for several years, there is one person...

Resident of Not In Service always has entire bus to himself

4 June, 2020

4 June, 2020

A resident of one of Adelaide’s lesser known inner-outer suburbs, Not In Service, has continued to regularly catch public transport...

Bloke asking ‘Which Freeway do you mean?’ definitely not from here

5 November, 2019

5 November, 2019

A motorist who stopped at a Glen Osmond Road service station for directions to the closest mechanical likeness of a mythical...

Kent Town resident drives length of North Terrace without being stopped

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Dwayne Hoff of Kent Town could not believe his luck last Wednesday afternoon. As he hopped in his car to meet friends at “The Deli” in Thebarton, little did he know what was in store for him.

Victorians look to Adelaide for tips on how to shut down entire city by 8pm every night

10 August, 2020

10 August, 2020 4

TRENT BARTLETT As Melbourne continues to get themselves home no later than 8pm, Victorians have been looking across the border...

Modbury Triangle celebrates 14th shopper of 2020

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

In what has been an admittedly slower year for one of the smaller metropolitan shopping outlets, Modbury Triangle Shopping Centre...

Adelaide 36ers to change name to “Adelaide BCers” to honour traditional landowners

8 September, 2020

8 September, 2020

MATT FREEMAN With the Washington Redskins finally realizing the bloody obvious, that their nickname is actually racially offensive, the Adelaide...

Remaining KI koalas go missing as news of PM’s visit spreads

8 January, 2020

8 January, 2020

As news of the Prime Minister’s visit to Kangaroo Island spreads amongst what remains of Kangaroo Island’s koala community, the...

Exposé: Balfours caught using caged footballs for pies

4 September, 2018

4 September, 2018

In a shocking discovery by Adelaide Mail undercover journalists, it has come to light that Balfours is keeping the footballs...

AFP raids Adelaide Mail offices only to find Xavier Minniecon

5 June, 2019

5 June, 2019

One year after publishing a damning exposé on the existence of the fictional suburb Kingswood, Australian Federal Police officers have...

Adelaide poaches Open Mouth Kissing Strangers You’ve Just Met Festival from Victoria

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In news that has been sitting on our desk for years, but we never got around to writing...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

Hinkley, Pyke given 3-year contract extensions to teach them a lesson

23 July, 2019

23 July, 2019

In light of two equally inconsistent seasons, both South Australian AFL clubs have found themselves scratching their heads at what...

90s Toyota Commercial still killing it at every SA Caravan Park

29 November, 2019

29 November, 2019

The 20th annual Caravan Recreation Area Park comedy awards were held at Lake Bonney last weekend, with one classic comedy...

Easter weekend marks beginning of ‘Be afraid to wear your Kathmandu jacket in public’ season

11 April, 2020

11 April, 2020

It’s easy to forget that Easter carries with it a deeper, important meaning for so many in our community. For...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: