22 October, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Guns N’ Roses actually pretty disappointed with Paradise city

During last year’s world tour, 80’s rock band Guns N’ Roses finally managed to make it to their ultimate destination, located right here in Adelaide. However, Paradise wasn’t all this band thought it could have been.

‘I mean, it’s fine, I guess’, stated frontman Axl Rose ‘we’ve probably just built it up over all these years to be something more than it actually is’.

Bassist Duff was also less than enthused with his visit to the north-eastern suburb ‘we toured Adelaide in summer, and let me tell you, the grass wasn’t green in Paradise City. There wasn’t much green grass anywhere in Adelaide to be honest, looks like you don’t get a whole lot of November rain’.

Slash remarked ‘there were some pretty girls there, but it seems like a lot of them were very  Christian for some reason. It’s not even a city, really, more of a middle-class suburb I’d say’.

After the visit, the band had decided to rewrite the lyrics to their classic hit. Despite Adelaide Mail reporters insisting they really didn’t need to play it to them, Axl and Slash sat down with an acoustic guitar and forcibly lamented the following chorus:

‘Take me down to the Paradise suburb,

where the O-Bahn buses run oh so superb,

Oh won’t you please take me home.

Take me down to the Paradise district,

where at Thorndon Park we’ll have a nice picnic,

Oh won’t you please take me home.

Take me down to the Paradise municipality,

where at the skate park I’ll pop a pretty sick wheelie,

Oh won’t you please take me home.

Take me down to the Paradise region

Where I can be influenced to find religion,

Oh won’t you please take me home…’

This continued for six and a half minutes, these are just some of the better ones we recall.

Related Posts

Now a North Adelaide Resident, Djokovic makes noise complaint at 7pm on Friday

23 January, 2021

23 January, 2021

Whilst world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic has been in quarantine in North Adelaide, he has become accustomed to...

Local pisshead really enjoying this ‘Dry July’ so far

3 July, 2019

3 July, 2019

Regency Park resident and drunkard Al Koholic has had a fantastic, albeit technically wrong, start to the popular ‘Dry July’ campaign. ‘When...

First stage of Tour Down Under won by lost Uber Eats rider

21 January, 2020

21 January, 2020

Today the Barossa hosted the first men’s stage of the Tour Down Under, a gruelling 150 kilometre slog even for...

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

New sports radio station 1629 SEN releases coverage map

10 December, 2018

10 December, 2018

Following questions about the breadth of new sports-only radio station SEN’s broadcast coverage, the fledgling station has released a comprehensive...

Man successfully connects to AdelaideFree wifi network

5 November, 2018

5 November, 2018

In what has been described as a once in a lifetime technological phenomenon, city worker Simon Line has defied astronomical...

Thousands of Port fans call in ‘sick’, empty office chairs everywhere tarped

13 May, 2019

13 May, 2019

Thousands of Port Power fans from around the state have chucked a sickie today, knowing full well they are incapable...

We rank Adelaide’s most livable suburbs

10 June, 2021

10 June, 2021 1

With the announcement of Adelaide being ranked the world’s 3rd most livable city, the time has come to take a...

“Never drink Coopers again? I didn’t say that.” says man who definitely said that

3 January, 2019

3 January, 2019

MATTHEW DEVITT In an astonishing reverse of his staunch moral standing, Ascot Park man David Baker has come under scrutiny...

Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

18 April, 2019

18 April, 2019

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a...

PAC old scholar furious at suggestion he went to Saints

10 September, 2018

10 September, 2018

An enraged former student of Adelaide’s prestigious Prince Alfred College has slammed suggestions that he attended the equally-esteemed St Peter’s...

Port performs angry costume change to make their closing argument through the power of song

9 May, 2021

9 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT The Port Power Football Club have turned up the heat in their enduring fight to wear their favourite...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Vista local resigned to the fact it’s just easier to say they’re from Tea Tree Gully

29 October, 2018

29 October, 2018

‘Vista? Do you mean Para Vista?’ is the age old question that Britney Nicholls has heard time and time again...

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: