$30bn Santos deal falls through after buyer rocks up to try and collect it in the back of a Corolla

TRENT BARTLETT

The $30 billion takeover of a South Australian oil and gas company Santos has fallen through after the prospective buyer arrived at the company’s Flinders Street headquarters in a 2008 Toyota Corolla.

Upon arriving, the buyer was heard saying “Should all fit if we put the seats down, I’ve gotten bigger things in there before, just awkward”.

Despite assurances, Santos executives remained unconvinced that the Saudi buyers could fit an entire multinational oil and gas company, its 2,000 staff, a multi-storey headquarters, several offshore oil rigs and boxes of branded polo shirts for new starters in the back.

Although the debacle left a sour taste in the would-be sellers’ mouths, it still represented the best experience Santos has had on Marketplace to-date. Other buyers attempted to request free delivery to Noarlunga, pay the whole $30bn in coins, guarantee that their “cousin would pick it up” and ask if Santos could “hold it for a few weeks until I get paid”.

The company has since been re-listed on Marketplace in all caps with the note: “PICKUP ONLY, SERIOUS OFFERS ONLY, NO TIMEWASTERS”