28 May, 2023

Despite their name, these things are pretty shithouse at jumps

Adelaide city has been flooded with hundreds of bright red e-bikes over the past week as Uber “Jump” launched a 12 month trial to see if they could somehow make the Torrens even more polluted.

Immediately tempted by the name of the bikes, our reporters contacted local amateur BMX and Monster Energy Drink enthusiast Nathan Thrills to put them to the test.

After undertaking the 40 minute process of registering, unlocking and wiping urine off the bike, we soon found ourselves at Adelaide Parklands Kurrangga BMX track. Despite promising signs on the beginners track, where Nathan managed to pull a mono past some kids, the “Jump” certainly did not live up to its name on the advanced course.

I barely got any air. Would probably have more luck on a scooter, to be honest.

After falling off several times, the clearly concussed rider had to be rushed to the RAH, where he was once again disappointed that there was no actual “ramp” near the emergency entrance.

Editor’s note: We did not realise this, but those massive bike jumps in the southern parklands are hand-built and maintained by a dedicated crew of volunteers, City Dirt Crew. Well done to these local legends.

Related Posts

Guy who loved Casino’s Loco Bar drink stock market now heaps into crypto

27 January, 2022

27 January, 2022

HODL THE LIME: In the early 2000’s when the Adelaide Casino first figured out the fact that they could further...

You can visit Red Square this weekend! (And by ‘Red Square’ we mean some ginger nerd)

20 May, 2020

20 May, 2020

With news breaking that pubs will not commence reopening until June, there are still plenty of ways to have fun...

Calm down mate, it’s Monarto, not Zimbabwe

10 January, 2019

10 January, 2019

Equipped with the most expensive DSLR and biggest telescopic lens Ted’s Cameras had in stock, Gavin Numpty of Murray Bridge...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

1 July, 2019

1 July, 2019

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun...

Adelaide Fashion Festival just showcasing whatever is on sale at Harris Scarfe

20 October, 2018

20 October, 2018

The State’s leading fashion event is currently underway in Adelaide, with designers, runway models, socialites, and critics flying in from...

Send help. Stuck in traffic on way to Yorke’s. Running out of food. Tell wife I love her.

12 June, 2021

12 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT It’s been fourteen hours since we left home bound for Innes National Park. We thought that we were...

New tourism campaign vows to get “Visitors Back To SA, Tours Back At Wineries, and Cars Back On O-Bahn”

29 August, 2022

29 August, 2022 1

As tourists begin to return to South Australia, the SA Tourism Travel Trekking Transport Traffic & Traversing Taskforce (SATTTTTTT) has...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

FACT: It’s called “Emo Park” because it’s the most depressing place in Adelaide

9 October, 2020

9 October, 2020

The midwest pocket of Hindmarsh Square is certainly an interesting place. There’s a giant dead fish skeleton, a dodgy looking...

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

21 August, 2020

21 August, 2020

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named...

No media bias: For every negative Power article, we run at least 0.2 negative Crows articles

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

SHOWDOWN WEEK: It’s often stated that there is a media bias in South Australia when it comes to our AFL...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Any Crows fans under 60 eligible for Junior Membership

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

As the Adelaide Crows attempt to go back-to-back in the 2021, the club has restructured its membership plans to better...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: