28 September, 2023

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le Cornu site in North Adelaide. A tender has been won by a brand new, yet suspiciously familiar, Adelaide based Swedish furniture company “De Körneu” to build their first store on O’Connell Street.

De Körneu states it will bring a much needed cosmopolitan shopping experience for home decor enthusiasts across North Adelaide. However, there is something about the new company that many feel ‘just isn’t quite right’.

We are-a excited to bring to the great city of Adelaide all of-a de latest Swedish trends

When questioned about the public’s suspicion, spokeswoman for the company, Umlaut Falster stated in a thick false Swedish accent ‘no, no, nothing is-a wrong here. We at De Körneu are as Swedish as-a any other Swedish companies like-a Volvo, H&M, and Nokia. We have certainly never have-a been an Adelaide based company operating out of an old Keswick factory, that’s-a for sure’.

Standing under the ‘new’ De Körneu sign, still dripping with royal blue paint, Umlaut was questioned by the Adelaide Mail as to what is in store for shoppers. ‘We are-a excited to bring to the great city of Adelaide all of-a de latest Swedish trends’, stated Umlaut, struggling to keep up the accent, ‘the latest Swedish furniture trend is-a big Italian leather recliners, we got stacks of those left over, and chunky solid pine 9 piece dining settings, those things are heaps Swedish’ closed Umlaut, eventually settling on what seemed a hybrid Stockholm/Salisbury dialect.

When finally bluntly asked if De Körneu was just a rebranded Le Cornu, Umlaut stated ‘…we’ll bring back the ball pit if you promise not to tell anyone’.

Related Posts

Adelaide Rams fan very disappointed

14 February, 2022

14 February, 2022

After seeing a constant stream of betting company advertisements stating that the Rams would be playing a big game this...

Windy Point actually pronounced “Wine-dee” point because of the winding route to get there

15 November, 2019

15 November, 2019

Windy Point – You’re all saying it wrong! It turns out that we’ve all been saying the name of Adelaide’s...

Hindley Street to become 100% shisha bars by 2020, study reveals

17 January, 2019

17 January, 2019

New research into economic trends in Adelaide’s west end reveals that the city’s most famous nightstrip is heading towards wall-to-wall...

South Australian unreasonably smug watching Queenslanders lose their minds over plastic bag ban

5 July, 2018

5 July, 2018

Sometimes you just have to rub your hands together and look on with glee at the failures of those other,...

OG Road shot in drive-by

20 May, 2019

20 May, 2019

Living up to its name, OG road of Klemzig has been attacked in what is believed to be a drug-fueled...

AdBlocker removes entire AdelaideNow website

22 July, 2019

22 July, 2019

As Gavin Alook was searching for an old news article about the time his school actually figured out what the...

ShitAdelaide changes name to MAFSadelaide

8 April, 2019

8 April, 2019

Originally a source of general ridicule at the expense of Adelaide’s drunk and poor, the mysterious owners behind Instagram account...

Man considers moving after reading local Tea Tree Gully Facebook group

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

Less than 48 hours after joining the local community Facebook group “WHATS GOING ON IN TEA TREE GULLY”, lifetime North-East...

Modern Day Mawson: Man goes to Golden Grove Netball Courts without jacket

22 June, 2022

22 June, 2022

SADNARCTICA: Although Saturday’s weather was sunny and calm, one local man severely underestimated the harshness Golden Grove Netball Courts’ own...

PAC old scholar furious at suggestion he went to Saints

10 September, 2018

10 September, 2018

An enraged former student of Adelaide’s prestigious Prince Alfred College has slammed suggestions that he attended the equally-esteemed St Peter’s...

Lightsview resident who refuses to use own garage and driveway complains about street parking

3 February, 2023

3 February, 2023

Disgruntled Lightsview resident, Anne Grey-Parker, has once again submitted a formal complaint to local council regarding an ongoing problem that...

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

1 September, 2020

1 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South...

PAFC set to ban single-use plastic tarps

6 July, 2019

6 July, 2019

Renewing its commitment to sustainability, Port Adelaide Football Club today announced that they would be doing away with the single-use...

Sober Sea & Vines patron can still hear DJ Ötzi’s Hey Baby in his ears

11 June, 2019

11 June, 2019

Having committed to a well-intentioned but poorly-timed ‘month off the turps’ Alsace Lorraine found himself as designated driver for this...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: