28 May, 2022

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le Cornu site in North Adelaide. A tender has been won by a brand new, yet suspiciously familiar, Adelaide based Swedish furniture company “De Körneu” to build their first store on O’Connell Street.

De Körneu states it will bring a much needed cosmopolitan shopping experience for home decor enthusiasts across North Adelaide. However, there is something about the new company that many feel ‘just isn’t quite right’.

We are-a excited to bring to the great city of Adelaide all of-a de latest Swedish trends

When questioned about the public’s suspicion, spokeswoman for the company, Umlaut Falster stated in a thick false Swedish accent ‘no, no, nothing is-a wrong here. We at De Körneu are as Swedish as-a any other Swedish companies like-a Volvo, H&M, and Nokia. We have certainly never have-a been an Adelaide based company operating out of an old Keswick factory, that’s-a for sure’.

Standing under the ‘new’ De Körneu sign, still dripping with royal blue paint, Umlaut was questioned by the Adelaide Mail as to what is in store for shoppers. ‘We are-a excited to bring to the great city of Adelaide all of-a de latest Swedish trends’, stated Umlaut, struggling to keep up the accent, ‘the latest Swedish furniture trend is-a big Italian leather recliners, we got stacks of those left over, and chunky solid pine 9 piece dining settings, those things are heaps Swedish’ closed Umlaut, eventually settling on what seemed a hybrid Stockholm/Salisbury dialect.

When finally bluntly asked if De Körneu was just a rebranded Le Cornu, Umlaut stated ‘…we’ll bring back the ball pit if you promise not to tell anyone’.

Related Posts

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

3 December, 2019

3 December, 2019 1

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate...

SA Dentists host annual Farmers Union Iced Coffee appreciation night

9 December, 2019

9 December, 2019

South Australia’s dentists gathered for their industry’s night of nights on Saturday night, with their annual Farmers Union Thanksgiving Dinner....

Entire train deeply confused by passenger getting off at Chidda

14 November, 2019

14 November, 2019

In a completely unprecedented situation, a passenger on a Gawler Central-bound train has alighted at Chidda Railway Station. Witnesses on...

Griffins Hotel to start opening up for THREE hours a month to keep up with massive demand spike

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It’s the hub of Adelaide nightlife around the north-eastern side of Hindmarsh Square. The Griffins Hotel is the...

State Liberals sign sponsorship deal with Dulux in attempt to whitewash their reputation

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

With their reputation already facing questions thanks to former Liberal MP Sam ‘Wandering Hands’ Duluk, the South Australian Liberal Party...

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

First stage of Tour Down Under won by lost Uber Eats rider

21 January, 2020

21 January, 2020

Today the Barossa hosted the first men’s stage of the Tour Down Under, a gruelling 150 kilometre slog even for...

Michael Keelan referred to as Keith Conlon for the last time!

23 September, 2018

23 September, 2018

That’s it, he’s absolutely had it. At first it was funny, sometimes even a little bit flattering, but enough is...

Fringe ends, Arj Barker once again cryogenically frozen for 11 months

23 March, 2022

23 March, 2022

After another successful Adelaide Fringe Festival for our FIFO comedians, many ore once again returning to their cryogenic freezers until...

“Ignore all the references to northern NSW, “Flame Trees” is definitely about Elizabeth”

26 November, 2020

26 November, 2020

Ask any true-blue northern suburbs local about Aussie rock and they’ll tell you a thing or two about a thing...

Man who suggested synchronising traffic light sequences swiftly fired

30 September, 2019

30 September, 2019

A staff member from South Australia’s Department of Planning, Transport & Infrastructure has been fired from his role as a...

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

Office worker finds any excuse to tell you that she did City To Bay

16 September, 2019

16 September, 2019

You don’t typically see Sarah from marketing at the office before 9am at best. And to see her away from...

Shocked South Road business owners have property acquired after only 53 years notice

8 July, 2021

8 July, 2021

TY INNANE A number of businesses told they’ll be acquired for the north-south corridor project expressed dismay and disbelief today....

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: