5 August, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Phone lines jammed as 24 million Australians all ring Victor Harbor to check on Nan

TOM STEWART

In what has become a serious test of the nation’s telecommunications infrastructure, 24 million phone calls were placed to South Australia in just 24 hours yesterday. 

It is believed that the majority of calls were prompted by deep feelings of guilt amongst everyone else in the country. 

‘People have gone out and stashed all the bog roll and pasta, before discovering Facebook articles which quite clearly explain that it’s all the old people that are going to die,’ said Clark Cable, a state government telecommunications analyst.

It were lovely to hear from Philip and the girls

‘Now they’re feeling guilty because there’s not even a pack of Fisherman’s Friend left on the shelf to get Nan through the next month.’

Australia’s grandmothers, nearly all of whom live in the sleepy coastal town, are reportedly ‘delighted’ by the sudden interest in their health and well-being.

‘It were lovely to hear from Philip and the girls,’ said Dorris, an 83-year-old gardening enthusiast from Hayborough. 

‘I haven’t seen or spoken to them since Christmas, I wonder what’s prompted the call. They told me they were all feeling good but went deadly quiet when I suggested they travel over for from Brisbane for Easter Lunch. Very strange’.

We reached out to some of the callers for their point of view on the dramatic national surge in grandparent contact. 

Barry, a Concreter from Queensland felt that for him, ‘it was just a question of duty’.

‘Initially, I wasn’t too worried as I heard that nearby Adelaide have a brand new hospital that was the most expensive building in the world when constructed. But then I found an article from 2015 which said that the doors inside it weren’t even made big enough to get beds through… That’s when I started to panic’.

Tags: in Life, News
Related Posts

Stephan Knoll offers to wash dad’s car and do more chores to pay off $30,000 debt

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s Transport Minister Stephan Knoll landed himself in a bit of mischief this week by accidentally and...

Local wheelie bin maintains and confirms SAFM still rocks Banksia Park

21 June, 2021

21 June, 2021 1

Decades after the heyday of the SAFM Black Thunders gracing suburban Adelaide streets handing out icy-cold cans of expired cola,...

Victorians stowed away on train raise suspicion when they try to get off at Chidda

15 July, 2020

15 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Four Victorians have raised the suspicions of fellow passengers when they attempted to alight at the mythical Chidda...

Sight of OTR toilet instantly cures man’s violent diarrhoea

7 December, 2018

7 December, 2018

After a week in Bali and a big ‘welcome home’ night with the boys, city construction labourer, Trey Dee, was...

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

TRENT BARTLETT Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

All we want to know about the SkyCity Casino upgrade is if they’ve brought back the horse racing game

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The new upgraded section of the SkyCity Adelaide casino has opened and it seems they’re letting all local media in...

Adelaide Crows reveal new Showdown guernsey

9 April, 2021

9 April, 2021

With the next Showdown announced to take place in round 8, the Adelaide Crows have revealed a new strip that...

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Crows fan still angry about Ian Perrie for some reason

4 April, 2019

4 April, 2019

Their forward line has been a constant source of contempt for Adelaide Crows fans since Tony Modra packed up his...

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Victorians look to Adelaide for tips on how to shut down entire city by 8pm every night

10 August, 2020

10 August, 2020 4

TRENT BARTLETT As Melbourne continues to get themselves home no later than 8pm, Victorians have been looking across the border...

Frome Street bikeway to be extremely beneficial for cyclist with very specific, straight 1.8km commute

29 August, 2018

29 August, 2018

After months of work, traffic restrictions, and millions of dollars spent, the new Frome Street bikeway is nearing completion and...

Glam Adelaide intern fired for only reposting Southport Beach stairs six times in a week

31 August, 2020

31 August, 2020

A social media intern at South Australia’s home of lifestyle news and filtered drone photos, Glam Adelaide, has been let...

People somehow shocked when Liberal govt starts privatising everything

17 May, 2019

17 May, 2019

With the state government looking for novel and opportunistic ways to deliver on pre-election fiscal promises, several key pieces of...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: