27 January, 2023

PAC old scholar furious at suggestion he went to Saints

An enraged former student of Adelaide’s prestigious Prince Alfred College has slammed suggestions that he attended the equally-esteemed St Peter’s College, according to reports.

Witnesses report that 55-year-old Mitcham man Connor Mandingthwaite was in queue to pay for petrol when an old friend approached him.

‘This bloke came up to him’, reports witness Codge Yafeelut, ‘I could have sworn it was his twin brother. You know, they both had their Country Road jumpers on. They were both on the phone talking about how much they despise the people that rent their houses. Oh, and they were both trying to get to the front of the line by telling people who their fathers were’.

Mandingthwaite reportedly grew red in the face from yelling, eventually passing out on the servo’s floor from anger at the sheer audacity of the suggestion

‘Anyway this bloke came up to him’, continues Yafeelut, ‘and starts saying how they knew each other from somewhere. He starts listing off possible places that they could have met. Liberal Party convention, Young Liberal Party convention, Annual Puffer Vest Wearers’ convention. But when he mentioned St Peter’s College, well, he just blew up’.

Mandingthwaite reportedly grew red in the face from yelling, eventually passing out on the servo’s floor from anger at the sheer audacity of the suggestion, I mean, come on, how many Australian cricket captains has Saints produced?

Luckily, Mandingthwaite regained consciousness before OTR management enacted a company-wide policy to compulsorily acquire any object — living or otherwise — that remains within twenty metres of an OTR for more than four consecutive hours.

The Adelaide Mail approached Mandingthwaite for comment. Not to verify any details we just wanted to see what would happen when we asserted that he went to a variety of Adelaide private schools that aren’t PAC. – Recommended 5/5

in Life, News
Related Posts

“Ignore all the references to northern NSW, “Flame Trees” is definitely about Elizabeth”

26 November, 2020

26 November, 2020

Ask any true-blue northern suburbs local about Aussie rock and they’ll tell you a thing or two about a thing...

We take a look back at ‘Crow Milk’ and the diabetes epidemic it caused

2 December, 2019

2 December, 2019

In the wake of current local flavoured milk wars, let’s take a moment to remember a simpler time in South...

Adelaide once again ranked as top Australian capital city alphabetically

15 June, 2018

15 June, 2018

For the 182nd year running, Adelaide has continued to shine as our nation’s top ranking capital city when ordered from A to Z.

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Ingle Farm bachelor applies for ‘Farmer wants a wife’

8 February, 2019

8 February, 2019

Tired of the local dating scene and not being able to find a girl who will settle down, or even...

Power fans start pretending they always follow SANFL

20 September, 2019

20 September, 2019

With the Port Adelaide Magpies facing off against Glenelg in the SANFL Grand Final this weekend, Port Power fans will...

OTR owners to install giant sun-blocking device over Adelaide

18 December, 2018

18 December, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have proposed an eternal solution to guaranteeing demand for 24/7 convenience stores and...

LIFE HACK: Did you guys know you can just drive up Mount Lofty?

10 August, 2022

10 August, 2022

Hey, so we’re not sure if this is widely known or not, but judging by the amount of people we...

“Our one mistake was not charging more for a thickshake” – 50SixOne

1 March, 2020

1 March, 2020

With the business in the hands of liquidators and its three remaining stores now closed, the owners of 50sixone have...

Fringe show releases new promotional image following KKK backlash

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Adelaide Fringe has responded to an online petition urging them to pull support of a controversial BDSM show after an...

Haggle guy reckons he could still get a Caffe Primo meal for $9.90

5 July, 2019

5 July, 2019

Despite not having a $9.90 menu or the iconic South Australian television commercial for several years, there is one person...

South Australian unreasonably smug watching Queenslanders lose their minds over plastic bag ban

5 July, 2018

5 July, 2018

Sometimes you just have to rub your hands together and look on with glee at the failures of those other,...

REPORT: Tim Noonan really just a poor man’s Xavier Minniecon

10 January, 2020

10 January, 2020

After eighteen months of exhaustive studies, researchers are still unable to formally identify what the hell Channel Seven Weather Presenter...

“Should have seen it coming” – Mr Bankrupt on his business’s bankruptcy

2 November, 2018

2 November, 2018

The saying goes that hindsight is twenty-twenty, and that rings true for nobody more than former Adelaide business tycoon Mr...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: