6 October, 2022

Salisbury mum returns to OTR to buy carton of ciggies with wheelbarrow full of shrapnel

After reportedly being denied being able to buy milk and bread with a few fifty cents pieces, the single mother from Salisbury has confidently returned to the local On The Run with a vengeance.

Lugging a wheelbarrow heaped with five, ten, and possibly a couple of obsolete two cent pieces, she intends to pay for a carton of Benson and Hedges Fine, a full tank of premium petrol, a two litre iced coffee, and one of those New York Yankees caps on the rack that every single OTR seems to stock, but nobody ever buys.

Keep asking questions and I’ll smash you too

After a brief protest from the underpaid trainee OTR clerk, the single mother instantly fired up ‘do you know I am and what I’ve been through?! Don’t try to pull that 1965 Currency Act bullshit on me again! I know my rights! Try and deny me and my kids again, go on, I dare you!’

Several hours into counting the coins for the total of $480.65, the mother was questioned as to what the small pieces of pig coloured ceramic scattered throughout the wheelbarrow were.

‘Keep asking questions and I’ll smash you too’, the mum replied ‘look, I wouldn’t mess with me, I’ve gained 27 insta followers since last week and have the ‘Tiser’s number’.

At the time of publishing the clerk is still counting and the mother has eaten three Krispy Kreme donuts and played at least a dozen games of spot 10 Keno.

Related Posts

CBD co-workers from opposite sides of city pretend to know where each other live

5 October, 2018

5 October, 2018

As Harry North and Belinda Southeast sat down for lunch at their CBD workplace, conversation turned to the weekend and...

Move over Mods! This wrestler’s changing his name to Ian Perrie in tribute of the OTHER Crows legend

29 October, 2020

29 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Earlier this week it was revealed that a WWE wrestler had changed his name to that of former...

Crows family members plead for exemption to leave South Australia after sons’ 2020 season

25 September, 2020

25 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Following the decision by health authorities to allow Port Power family members into SA on a special exemption...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

Culturally significant South Australian historical artifact uncovered

21 January, 2021

21 January, 2021

A piece of South Australian history has been uncovered in the Adelaide suburbs. The historically significant find sheds light on...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

“Emo Park” rebrands as “Ska Park” in attempt to brighten reputation

3 October, 2019

3 October, 2019

The north-western pocket of Hindmarsh square has always been a strange place. Along with being home to what was awarded...

Gays Arcade forced to change name after experts confirm it’s more of a mall

12 July, 2019

12 July, 2019

The LGBTQIA community (Laneway, Galleria, Business, Trader, Quickie-Mart, Independent retailer, and Arcade) are rejoicing as experts have changed the name...

Goodwood Road cemetery to add severed head sculpture to existing public artwork

5 July, 2020

5 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT A Goodwood Road cemetery is looking to increase the number of sculptures depicting severed appendages in a renewed...

Adelaide Mail launches new kids’ alternate news service “Below The News”

4 February, 2022

4 February, 2022

South Australian children have grown tired of being pushed a constant mainstream narrative by the Adelaide produced “Behind The News”...

South Australians tipped to consume $3bn worth of Zooper Doopers today

24 January, 2019

24 January, 2019

While many today will be doing their best to not think about just how high the mercury is expected to...

Bloke ordering a Halal Snack Pack at Adelaide yiros shop might as well be speaking another language

31 January, 2020

31 January, 2020

A tourist visiting from Sydney’s Newtown has confounded the owner of a North Adelaide yiros shop by attempting to order...

Instagrammer comments “Why no Adelaide?!” on tour announcement despite no intention of going

5 June, 2018

5 June, 2018

When international pop artist Shawn Mendes announced his Australian tour earlier this month, Cara O’Connell, 16, was less than amused at the glaring omission of Adelaide for the run of shows.

Kid dressed as Britannia Roundabout wins Adelaide’s scariest costume contest

31 October, 2020

31 October, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT Britani-AHH!!: Adelaide held its annual scariest Halloween costume contest this morning, with thousands of children from all around...

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: