5 November, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Channel Nine reveals real reason behind Kate Collins’ axing: “We need the money to buy more shitty real estate shows for 9Life”

TRENT BARTLETT

Channel Nine has revealed their true motivations behind the axing of Kate Collins along with dozens of other staff around the country in a bid to save $10 million before the end of the year.

Adelaide Mail was able to get its hands on a leaked email revealing the reasons behind the change because the administration staff’s email password is, bafflingly, ‘louvre’. The email, sent from the network’s Head of News, Pageantry and House-Flipping Shows Gronald deFlautist revealed that the cost out would be redirected to “licensing way more episodes of House Hunters”.

The email continues to reveal future plans for the network’s programming, with deFlautist hinting that more shows and talent could be on the chopping block. “Make no mistake, we are operating in a tough market. But that is exactly why we must act to ensure the future of Channel Nine is safe in a rapidly changing media environment. And when we talk about the future of Channel Nine, we basically mean more episodes of House Hunters and Bargain Hunt that we purchase from international publishing companies as part of package deals and shove on to our digital multichannels broadcasting at 240p resolution.

“Throughout all of this, we also need to make sure that we’re looking after the people who make this company the success that it is. Like, Matt, our CEO. And his $1.6 million bonus.”

Adelaide Mail asked whether staff in Channel Nine’s Adelaide office should be watching over their shoulder for further axe-swinging, an assertion deFlautist was quick to throw cool water on. “Adelaide? No. Wait, do we have an office there? I went there once for a wedding, I think. Love the Swan River.

“Anyway, no staff should not be watching over their shoulder. They’ll find out about their redundancy via an email. Usually a couple of months out from their long service leave, nobody should be surprised.”

You can help fund local “journalism” and add some South Australian kitsch to your Christmas Tree with Adelaide Mail’s SA Christmas Ornaments. Get yours now.

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