20 April, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Any Crows fans under 60 eligible for Junior Membership

DAN SCHMIDT

As the Adelaide Crows attempt to go back-to-back in the 2021, the club has restructured its membership plans to better reflect their fan-base.

It has been announced that anyone under the age of 60 is now eligible for a Junior Membership as the vast majority of supporters being octogenarians or older.

Adelaide Football Club manager of Membership & Knitted Seat Covers, Karen DeKrowes stated ‘We had a look at the median age of our fans, and the new Junior Membership structure is just one step we’re taking to accommodate the supporters. Large print Footy Records will be made available at all home games, Adelaide Oval will serve dinner before all 4pm matches, plus all games will be shortened to three quarters so fans can all leave early together to beat the traffic’.

Before we could question DeKrowes about that last point we were shunned out of the AFC office as they were getting ready to set up the Bingo club.

A big thanks to Andrew Taylor for letting us steal his joke for a headline. He runs a business called Flinders Insurance Solutions. If you’re incredibly accident prone (or just plain negligent like us), you need insurance. Even if you’re not, get insurance anyway because there are negligent people like us hanging around. Flinders Insurance Solutions are the local experts, so support South Australian business.

in News, Sport
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