23 May, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

DAN SCHMIDT

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was not looking promising.

However, after the initial disappointment, the Australian Rocket Space Exploration (ARSE) called in the big guns for assistance.

Armed with nothing more than an bicycle pump, an empty Woodies lemonade bottle and a winning attitude, Deane Hutton managed to spark the rocket and also the curiosity of many youngsters alike.

Of course, the launch was then a success and Deane was instantly promoted to head up the ARSE, ensuring he is consulted on all South Australian rocket launches in the future.

Whilst he was too busy fascinating the young and young at heart with simple science experiments that you can try at home to give Adelaide Mail reporters an interview, here’s a statement he prepared earlier:

‘The trick is you have to have just the right amount of water and ensure the rocket is airtight for the best launch. If you’re having any trouble with the bike pump or complex laws of thermodynamics, just ask an adult to help’.

For now, it seems South Australia’s space future remains in safe, wholesome hands.

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