28 September, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

To rival Power’s 3 Game Membership, Crows offer 3 Quarter Membership

DAN SCHMIDT

With Port Adelaide Power Football Club (est. 1997) claiming they now have the most members of any AFL club, yet somehow still can’t fill a home game to more than 65% capacity, the Adelaide Crows are now also looking at sneaky ways to build membership numbers.

Adelaide Football Club’s manager of pseudo memberships and knitted seat cushions, Cam Rickrowe stated to the Adelaide Mail ‘The Port Power have really upped their numbers in the past few years by introducing Pet Memberships, Baby Memberships and 3 game memberships*, but we feel we’ve got something that is really going to appeal to Crows fans. The 3 Quarter Membership’.

‘Yes, that’s right. With this new flexible membership option, fans can attend each and every home game for the first three quarters of the match. It’s perfect for a lot of our fans who do this already. It’s also great for those who just can’t be bothered watching us lose, those who want to beat the traffic, or like many of our fans, just need to get back to the aged care facility before their five o’clock dinner is served’.

The 3 Quarter Membership will be introduced from 2021, along with the new Junior Membership Package, for which any Crows fan under the age of 50 is eligible.

*Yes, we know Adelaide offer 3 Game Memberships also, so don’t bother telling us please. However, we don’t believe Crom can beat this outstanding membership deal:

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