29 July, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Murray Bridge Bunyip first South Australian to apply for voluntary euthanasia

DAN SCHMIDT

With the voluntary euthanasia bill passing in South Australia, one South Australian is putting their haggard green claw up to be the first in line.

The Mulyawonk has been caged and frightening children since the 1970’s and is pleading to finally be set free from their everlasting pain.

“RRRROOOAAAAARRRR, please kill me.”

The Bunyip

After agreeing for an interview with the Adelaide Mail they stated ‘RRROOOAAAARRR!’, sending us and several small children scampering away.

Upon our return the more subdued Bunyip stated ‘I’m well past my retirement age, in a dank little prison, covered in algae, and continually forced to perform for cheap tourists and bored teenagers’.

When asked if these were the reasons The Bunyip wished to die, they stated ‘Oh not at all. I actually enjoy scaring the kids, being a tourist attraction, and the security of my little cage. It’s just because I’m forced to live in Murray Bridge’.

in Life, News
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