23 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Modbury Triangle celebrates 14th shopper of 2020

In what has been an admittedly slower year for one of the smaller metropolitan shopping outlets, Modbury Triangle Shopping Centre is attempting to boost customer and trader morale by celebrating any sort of minor achievement accomplished by the centre.

In what was once a shopping powerhouse, Modbury Triangle had an excellent bakery, a cabbage leaf strewn Bi-Lo, and a pretty fun pet shop with a bird that would talk to you. It was once the standard weekend activity for north-eastern parents to take their kids to the pet-shop to look at the cool aquariums and pat the rabbits when they couldn’t afford to go to the zoo.

However, nowadays it seems the supermarket can no longer be bothered to fill shelves, the newsagent no longer stocks satirical newspaper The Advertiser, and the most frequented stores are somehow the ones for lease.

“Some are blaming centre management, some are blaming the economy, but the vast majority of people are blaming the nerds in the Warhammer shop out front repelling potential customers with their B.O.”.

To boost moral, the centre has begun celebrating minor accomplishments, including “someone actually bought something”, “security guard stayed awake for three consecutive hours” or “store didn’t catch on fire today”. The centre marked the momentous occasion of 2020’s 14th shopper earlier this week and is hopeful to crack 20 once some deodorant is donated from the chemist to the Warhammer shop.

Editor’s note: In all honesty, if you’re a North-East legend, try and support the small businesses in the Triangle if you can. I recently took my son to Hair By Rebecca for a haircut, they were super friendly even if they didn’t let me sit in one of their race-car chairs. So if you’re looking for a great place to shop, or just need some peace and quiet, Modbury Triangle is the place to be.

Related Posts

The Adelaide Giants accidentally gave us media passes so now we legally have to write about them

31 January, 2023

31 January, 2023

Through what we can only assume is some sort of clerical error, our “newspaper” was given media passes to an...

Oh no! Someone confused “Emo Park” with “Emu Park”, let a bunch of emus loose and now it’s even worse

3 December, 2021

3 December, 2021

Adelaide’s most depressing piece of parkland has seen more mayhem than usual today, with an unexpected yet understandable mix-up resulting...

6 Classic Adelaide Crows Moments We’ll Never, Ever, Ever, Ever Forget

15 November, 2021

15 November, 2021

MATTHEW DEVITT 1. The Toyota marketing department launches a football team Desperate to increase the fledgling sales of its 4-door...

Nu-Metal band sees potential in Adelaide Real Estate Market

6 June, 2019

6 June, 2019

With the Adelaide Real Estate market still representing great value for investors and first home buyers, a new agency established...

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for...

Adelaide Oval Christmas Pageant limited to only 25,000 bagpipers

22 September, 2020

22 September, 2020

A 90 percent reduction on previous years.

Farmers Union to launch new milk-based sports energy drink

16 December, 2020

16 December, 2020

"The curdle helps you clear the hurdles"

Guy Sebastian also apologises for tagging Golden Grove Rage Cage in 2001

7 September, 2021

7 September, 2021

GUG SEBASTIAN: Early 2000’s typical North-East hood-rat and former Australian Idol Guy Sebastian has apologised to his Instagram followers for...

Confused InCels gather in Kingston to get a glimpse of what they assume is a statue of their hero

13 January, 2022

13 January, 2022

TRENT BARTLETT Throngs of twenty-something men adorned with bearded necks and armed with copies of the house-cleaning manual 12 Rules...

Ingle Farm bachelor applies for ‘Farmer wants a wife’

8 February, 2019

8 February, 2019

Tired of the local dating scene and not being able to find a girl who will settle down, or even...

“Reality’s hitting home” – Now my shortcut through David Jones to the car park is gone!

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

Everything had been fine up until this point. You know, it’s bad and all that, I’m not trivialising the seriousness...

Nova 919 adds unprecedented THIRD song to their playlist

23 October, 2023

23 October, 2023 1

TRENT BARTLETT In what is being described by industry experts as “this must be some mistake”, purveyors of both inane...

Power fan really hopes those photos from 1993 never resurface

16 October, 2020

16 October, 2020 1

1993, it was a simpler time. No social media, you could still smoke on public transport (well you weren’t meant...

Crows fans oddly supportive of cancellation of AFL season

16 March, 2020

16 March, 2020

Crows fans are throwing their support behind the permanent cancellation of AFL matches as a precaution to the growing threat...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading