30 November, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Power fan really hopes those photos from 1993 never resurface

DAN SCHMIDT

1993, it was a simpler time. No social media, you could still smoke on public transport (well you weren’t meant to, but you could), there was just one South Australian AFL team, and thankfully for a lot of current Power fans there was no such thing as social media.

Albert Unn, wtaunch Port Adelaide Football Club supporter since the club’s establishment in 1996, spends a lot of his time on twitter reminding Crows fans that they’re not a real club, even though in the early 90’s Albert himself could be seen head to toe in red, yellow and blue waiting outside the Crows Shed for Mark Viska to sign his Footy Record.

As a teenager Albert’s walls were covered in posters of all the early Adelaide Crows greats, Clayton Lamb, Shane Tongerie, and Peter Turner, just to name a few. However, Albert is now living in constant fear of his past.

‘I think I’ve done everything I can to wipe all evidence’, stated Al Burton, who requested his name be changed for this story even though we were already halfway through ‘but I think there may still be some photos out there, which haunts me every day of my life’.

Even going to extreme measures to convince himself that the past never existed, Al resorted to years of experimental cognitive memory therapy to block the early nineties from his mind.

‘I think the brain therapy worked pretty well’, said Al ‘but I forgot a whole bunch of Simpsons episodes. Also, I forgot how to read and still have trouble dressing myself in a presentable manner’.

Yes, it seems for now at least, Al has truly convinced the world he is a Power supporter.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

Maslin Beach declared as exposure site (but has nothing to do with COVID-19)

21 July, 2021

21 July, 2021

With the list of local COVID-19 exposure sites growing quicker than that bloke behind the bushes, another has been added...

Adelaide Fashion Festival just showcasing whatever is on sale at Harris Scarfe

20 October, 2018

20 October, 2018

The State’s leading fashion event is currently underway in Adelaide, with designers, runway models, socialites, and critics flying in from...

Ardrossan jetty regulars can spot these city slickers a mile away

13 January, 2020

13 January, 2020

When Goodwood couple Kate and Darren Bovril decided they fancied a nice, peaceful day catching some crabs, they were convinced...

Elizabeth resident lobbies council to change name to Playholden

17 October, 2019

17 October, 2019

As the third anniversary of the closure of the Holden plant at Elizabeth approaches, lifetime local resident Camira Minnet lobbies...

The Advertiser returns to 100% satire following April Fools’ prank

2 April, 2019

2 April, 2019 1

It is a publication that has always gone to great lengths to get a laugh from South Australians. From the...

Walkerville to be renamed Eddiebettsville

18 August, 2021

18 August, 2021

Despite being neither walkable or anything to do with the disgraced Taylor Walker, the suburb of Walkerville is to be...

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

Researchers find anyone who went to Mansions pre-2012 is immune to COVID-19 and most other things too

7 April, 2020

7 April, 2020

Fastracked South Australian TAFE short course health research graduates have made an initial discovery in what could be the first...

Adelaide Remember When: Sir Douglas Mawson became the first man to climb Magic Mountain

6 September, 2021

6 September, 2021

The year was 1915 when geologist and explorer Sir Douglas Mawson had just returned from his famous Australasian Antarctic Exhibition...

New real time fuel app helps motorists find cheapest petrol by simply eliminating OTR servos

14 May, 2021

14 May, 2021

The new RAA real-time fuel app provides South Australian motorists with current information about where to find the cheapest nearby...

Sight of OTR toilet instantly cures man’s violent diarrhoea

7 December, 2018

7 December, 2018

After a week in Bali and a big ‘welcome home’ night with the boys, city construction labourer, Trey Dee, was...

Man on flight to Perth busted trying to take 55L of FUIC in carry on

27 February, 2019

27 February, 2019

Edwardstown man Pieter Goblettsen loves a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, so much so that he is said to have once...

FIVEaa now adds diversity to presenter lineup by hiring a half Italian guy

29 March, 2021

29 March, 2021

The overdue sacking of Jeremy Cordeaux, a silly little man who got drunk and then behind the wheel repeatedly, has...

11 Adelaide Things From the 90’s You’ll Only Remember If You’re Between 21 and 140 Years Old!

18 June, 2021

18 June, 2021

MATTHEW DEVITT 1990: Dazzleland doesn’t open yet “Hey kids! As you all know, it’s late 1989! How would you like...

Local livestreamed gigs to be replaced with livestreamed pokie rooms

8 April, 2020

8 April, 2020

With the coronavirus shutting down the city’s remaining live music venues, bands have begun turning to the internet to live...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: