23 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Midnight Pharmacy seriously gives no fucks anymore

What was once an innovative practice for the early 2000’s, in an age where South Australian pharmacies were banned from trading past 3pm or during any half-moon phase under the The George Birks Act of 1856, it has become clear that Midnight Pharmacy has rapidly declined in recent years.

In a desperate, and somewhat confusing, effort to boost business, Midnight Pharmacy has decided that a mix of clinical medication and the concept of a Cunningham’s Warehouse is the way forward.

Who knows, maybe there’s someone out there who needs some overpriced expired toothpaste, some dead plants and a circa 2004 car stereo system at 11pm on a Wednesday

Vice-Director of Marketing for the business, Penny Sillon, explained the pharmacy’s strategy ‘first off, we don’t care, it’s the methadone clinic that really keeps us afloat, so why not have some fun with the place, hey?’

‘But who knows, maybe there’s someone out there who needs some overpriced expired toothpaste, some dead plants and a circa 2004 car stereo system at 11pm on a Wednesday, and where else are they going to be able to get all of that under one leaking roof?’

Penny continued, ‘plus, they can grab a hotdog with the lot while they wait for our extremely unhelpful staff to ring them up. Our store signs out the front may be burnt, but our hot-dogs aren’t. If anything, they’re extremely undercooked, but not to worry, you can grab a 12 pack of generic Imodium to go with it for only $42.’

in News
Related Posts

Sign at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre explains a lot about North Eastern suburbs fashion

6 February, 2020

6 February, 2020

A sign proclaiming Ingle Farm Shopping Centre to be ‘your local place for fashion’ has been found to offer an...

Theology states St. Agnes is the Patron Saint of filthy hangovers

8 December, 2020

8 December, 2020

After minutes of research, religious scholars have uncovered that St Agnes is the Patron Saint of absolutely rotten hangovers and...

Valley Butchers unsure why anybody would be offended by new sign

18 September, 2019

18 September, 2019

An Adelaide butcher who was found to have breached advertising standards by displaying a sign that read ‘Non Halal Certified’...

Demolished North East Road servo to be subdivided into multiple North East Road servos

17 January, 2023

17 January, 2023

A Collinswood service station on North East Road is currently undergoing demolition, leaving many residents and commuters wondering as to...

Adelaide Remember When: Sir Douglas Mawson became the first man to climb Magic Mountain

6 September, 2021

6 September, 2021

The year was 1915 when geologist and explorer Sir Douglas Mawson had just returned from his famous Australasian Antarctic Exhibition...

Windy Point actually pronounced “Wine-dee” point because of the winding route to get there

15 November, 2019

15 November, 2019

Windy Point – You’re all saying it wrong! It turns out that we’ve all been saying the name of Adelaide’s...

Phone lines jammed as 24 million Australians all ring Victor Harbor to check on Nan

17 March, 2020

17 March, 2020

TOM STEWART In what has become a serious test of the nation’s telecommunications infrastructure, 24 million phone calls were placed...

Griffins Hotel to start opening up for THREE hours a month to keep up with massive demand spike

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It’s the hub of Adelaide nightlife around the north-eastern side of Hindmarsh Square. The Griffins Hotel is the...

Surely selecting VICTORIA Park as a testing location was a deliberate low-key diss

5 August, 2020

5 August, 2020

Our state’s newest COVID-19 drive through testing station opened in Adelaide’s Victoria Park this morning, resulting in car queues of...

Send help. Stuck in traffic on way to Yorke’s. Running out of food. Tell wife I love her.

12 June, 2021

12 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT It’s been fourteen hours since we left home bound for Innes National Park. We thought that we were...

8 Common Phrases Only Adelaide People Will Understand

7 August, 2021

7 August, 2021

These are SUCH Adelaide phrases.

New tourism campaign vows to get “Visitors Back To SA, Tours Back At Wineries, and Cars Back On O-Bahn”

29 August, 2022

29 August, 2022 1

As tourists begin to return to South Australia, the SA Tourism Travel Trekking Transport Traffic & Traversing Taskforce (SATTTTTTT) has...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

North Adelaide Roosters announce 78 co-captains

4 February, 2019

4 February, 2019

Following suit of the State’s AFL clubs and following their key to success, excess, North Adelaide Football Club have decided to...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading