5 August, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Golden Grove resident protests removal of trees

As news breaks that over 180 trees will be removed from the streets of Golden Grove, one resident is doing all he can to protest.

Benny Slistener, an avid gardener and reggae fan, awoke at 3pm yesterday to the news that authorities would be removing over 180 trees from his rented Bicentennial Drive home.

‘What a spin-out, man’, slurred Benny to on-scene Adelaide Mail reporters (who just happened to already be at his house for a completely unrelated reason), ‘I can’t believe that with no consultation they can just remove these beautiful trees from Golden Grove, think of the impact this will have on the peacefulness and tranquility of the suburb’.

Benny stated that he is not happy how his suburb, once abundant with trees, is changing and that he will be protesting in the most apathetic way possible.

‘I’m protesting by moving out of Golden Grove. I’m moving to a share-house the next suburb over where I hear there’s more people to smoke Green With’.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Anty from The Bennies for letting us use his photo. Go listen to The Bennies.

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