4 February, 2023

Golden Grove resident protests removal of trees

As news breaks that over 180 trees will be removed from the streets of Golden Grove, one resident is doing all he can to protest.

Benny Slistener, an avid gardener and reggae fan, awoke at 3pm yesterday to the news that authorities would be removing over 180 trees from his rented Bicentennial Drive home.

‘What a spin-out, man’, slurred Benny to on-scene Adelaide Mail reporters (who just happened to already be at his house for a completely unrelated reason), ‘I can’t believe that with no consultation they can just remove these beautiful trees from Golden Grove, think of the impact this will have on the peacefulness and tranquility of the suburb’.

Benny stated that he is not happy how his suburb, once abundant with trees, is changing and that he will be protesting in the most apathetic way possible.

‘I’m protesting by moving out of Golden Grove. I’m moving to a share-house the next suburb over where I hear there’s more people to smoke Green With’.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Anty from The Bennies for letting us use his photo. Go listen to The Bennies.

Related Posts

Confused InCels gather in Kingston to get a glimpse of what they assume is a statue of their hero

13 January, 2022

13 January, 2022

TRENT BARTLETT Throngs of twenty-something men adorned with bearded necks and armed with copies of the house-cleaning manual 12 Rules...

SA tells WA ‘Only we have the skills to maintain problem-riddled subs’

13 August, 2019

13 August, 2019

With Western Australia circling Adelaide’s lucrative Collins Class Submarine maintenance contract, SA’s western counterparts have been told to ‘Back off,...

Annoying guy in office being sent to Victoria on ‘Special Assignment’ at 3:20 Tuesday

22 March, 2020

22 March, 2020

Following this morning’s ‘emergency meeting’ of the Management, Leadership and Everybody Except Jason Team, the office’s most annoying staff, Jason,...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

CBD skateboarders disappointed at lack of actual ramp outside RAH

9 November, 2018

9 November, 2018

Dozens of skateboarders gathered outside the Royal Adelaide Hospital Emergency Department yesterday as news spread about a new ramp near...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

Adelaide Oval Christmas Pageant limited to only 25,000 bagpipers

22 September, 2020

22 September, 2020

A 90 percent reduction on previous years.

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

Thousands of Port fans call in ‘sick’, empty office chairs everywhere tarped

13 May, 2019

13 May, 2019

Thousands of Port Power fans from around the state have chucked a sickie today, knowing full well they are incapable...

Kane Cornes called us a thief just because we broke into his house and stole stuff

13 February, 2020

13 February, 2020

Now, we’re not ones to typically use this platform to air grievances about petty disputes with our fellow K-grade Adelaide...

Push to save The Thebby so that bands can continue to skip it on tours

9 July, 2019

9 July, 2019

Rich in tradition, it’s the Adelaide live music venue that has been skipped by thousands of bands on their Australian...

Suburb of Paradise hit with false claims lawsuit

15 January, 2019

15 January, 2019

The north-eastern suburb of Paradise has found itself in legal trouble with a class action lawsuit being filed by thousands...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

24 June, 2019

24 June, 2019

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: