25 June, 2022

Election announced: Someone in Mt Barker orders 1,000 novelty cheques

Following the announcement from acting Prime Minister Scott Morrison that Australians will go to the polls on May 18th, somebody with a postal address in Mt Barker has placed a mysterious order for one thousand giant, novelty cheques.

Although we have not been able to verify who placed the order, Corflute Handstand, operations officer at Crazy Glen’s Discount Giant Novelty Cheque Warehouse, offers some hints as to where exactly the cheques might be off to.

There was one cheque in there made out to the Adelaide Crows 1998 premiership

‘Usually we ship our chequebooks blank’, says Handstand. ‘Our customers are mostly just radio stations running another bloody secret sound competition, I mean come on, surely they can come up with a new idea by now? Anyway, they like to be able to fill out their cheques as they need them. But this person asked us to fill out all the cheques for us’.

‘So there were a bunch of cheques made out to bowls clubs. A few going to some private schools around the Adelaide Hills, one seemed to be for the duplication of the Southern Expressway which is weird, maybe they plan on duplicating it again, I’m not sure’.

‘And then there were quite a few cheques which seem to be simply taking credit for things that don’t require funding’, continues Handstand. ‘There was one cheque in there made out to the Adelaide Crows 1998 premiership, not to the club, just to the idea of them winning the premiership’.

‘Anyway, we don’t care what the cheques are used for as long as the cheques keep rolling in. And I mean that literally, by the way. We only accept payment in giant, novelty cheques. It keeps demand for our product high, because if you want to buy some cheques from us, you have to order another cheque to pay for it, most people forget and end up having to place another order for one more cheque just to pay for their previous order’.

‘Of course, they then need another cheque to pay for their most recent order, so they have to place another order for one more cheque to pay for the order of the cheque they used to pay for the original order. It’s good business, I assume they’re legal tender, not sure, will have to get someone to look into that’.

Related Posts

PSA: Victorians reminded to make their highly original jokes about Adelaide before midnight tonight

21 November, 2020

21 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Victorians are being reminded that the opportunity to make their scintillatingly witty observations about the South Australian capital...

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty’s kilt

28 March, 2019

28 March, 2019

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results. ‘There’s...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

Stobie pole “probably a Banksy” says Croydon mum

8 November, 2018

8 November, 2018

Fiona Foarzenshore fancies her home suburb of Croydon as something of a cultural hub in Adelaide’s inner west, and has...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Kent Town resident drives length of North Terrace without being stopped

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Dwayne Hoff of Kent Town could not believe his luck last Wednesday afternoon. As he hopped in his car to meet friends at “The Deli” in Thebarton, little did he know what was in store for him.

Murray Bridge Bunyip first South Australian to apply for voluntary euthanasia

19 June, 2021

19 June, 2021

With the voluntary euthanasia bill passing in South Australia, one South Australian is putting their haggard green claw up to...

Single bloke on Kangaroo Island killing it on Tinder this week

1 November, 2018

1 November, 2018

What a week it has been for Steve Bachelor, 34, of Kangaroo Island. ‘It gets pretty hard dating in regional...

Midnight Pharmacy seriously gives no fucks anymore

28 February, 2019

28 February, 2019

What was once an innovative practice for the early 2000’s, in an age where South Australian pharmacies were banned from...

“Should have seen it coming” – Mr Bankrupt on his business’s bankruptcy

2 November, 2018

2 November, 2018

The saying goes that hindsight is twenty-twenty, and that rings true for nobody more than former Adelaide business tycoon Mr...

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

11 November, 2019

11 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

Mr. Bankrupt gets 200th consecutive daily COVID test after waking up with a sore throat again

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The once successful ever-failing businessman Mr. Bankrupt has once again gone to a COVID-19 testing site after waking up with...

Everyone laughs at the big fake googly eyes, but nobody is laughing about the big fake dildo we put on Scotty

17 January, 2022

17 January, 2022

In our desperate attempt to gain approval from local hilarious meme-lords and bumper-sticker-merchants, Shit Adelaide, we here at Adelaide Mail...

Farmers Union releases Iced Coffee flavoured LPG Gas. Don’t ask why, just buy it.

15 October, 2021

15 October, 2021

Since launching the Iced Coffee flavoured doughnut, the team at Farmer’s Union have quickly realised that the majority of you...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: