16 June, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Lifelong Athelstone resident still can’t tell difference between Gorge and George

DAN SCHMIDT

In an event that has left residents scratching their heads and emergency services mildly inconvenienced, Athelstone resident Ethel Stone has confessed to a lifelong struggle – deciphering the difference between George Street and Gorge Road.

‘It’s all very confusing, isn’t it?’ mused Ethel, peering intently at a crumpled street directory, ‘They sound the same, they run in the same direction, these roads are practically twins separated at birth, and they expect us to just remember which is which?’

The ongoing issue has sparked outrage amongst the silver set of Athelstone. So much so that the Athelstone Resident Seniors Ensemble (A.R.S.E.) has issued a strongly worded statement in blue biro demanding the council repaint one of the roads entirely in luminous orange.

‘It’s not just to help us’, grumbled A.R.S.E. Treasurer Cam Belltown ‘It’s the only way these young whippersnappers with their fancy GPS contraptions will ever learn the difference!’

‘Some of us still rely on the street directory’, said Cam, holing up a very well-worn copy of the 1986 Adelaide UBD ‘and have a look at this, I’ve just discovered there’s also a King George Road in Athelstone!’

‘To avoid further confusion, I move that we rename King George Road to Prince Andrew Road. Hopefully that deters the young people away from our suburb.’

Related Posts

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

Victor Harbor opens new Youth Centre for local adolescents aged 55-70

9 July, 2018

9 July, 2018

In an attempt at engaging the region’s younger demographic, Victor Harbor has launched a hip new hangout for residents born...

Complete Success! Remaining CBD shops to become convenience stores by end of day

21 November, 2025

21 November, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT In what the City of Adelaide is calling “a landmark achievement in business diversity,” officials today confirmed that...

Elon Musk buys AdelaideFree Wifi for thirty bucks and a carton of West End

28 April, 2022

28 April, 2022

After buying Twitter earlier this week for over 60 billion dollars, Tesla CEO and apartheid mining heir Elon Musk has...

Local woman caught lustfully gazing at Hindmarsh Square tree again

29 September, 2023

29 September, 2023

A local MILF in your area who wants to meet you but you never click on the popups has once...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found...

PETITION: Rename Elizabeth Shopping Centre “Centrals Market”

20 February, 2020

20 February, 2020

A group of vocal Central District Football Club supporters have launched a rather clever (especially for Centrals fans) campaign to...

Penfolds to release limited edition cask Grange

20 December, 2019

20 December, 2019

In an effort to appeal to a wider and less affluent market, Penfolds have taken a new and innovative direction for their...

“Can’t heritage list Jack Daniels merch” Fishermen’s Wharf Market told

21 May, 2019

21 May, 2019

With destruction looming for Port Adelaide’s Fisherman’s Wharf Market shed, vendors and Port locals are looking at various creative options...

Remaining KI koalas go missing as news of PM’s visit spreads

8 January, 2020

8 January, 2020

As news of the Prime Minister’s visit to Kangaroo Island spreads amongst what remains of Kangaroo Island’s koala community, the...

Adelaide Northern Outer Metro picks the WORST week to launch new app

10 June, 2021

10 June, 2021

A smaller branch of the wider Adelaide Metro network, Adelaide Northern Outer Metro (ANOM), unfortunately chose to launch their new...

Premier calls press conference just to ask “why would anybody want to go to Victoria?”

16 November, 2020

16 November, 2020

Premier Steven Marshall has called a press conference just hours before learning about a growing cluster of COVID-19 cases in...

Township of Gawler produces another tradie

20 June, 2019

20 June, 2019

After committing hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars to a town-wide search, the northern Adelaide township of Gawler has...

SA Dentists host annual Farmers Union Iced Coffee appreciation night

9 December, 2019

9 December, 2019

South Australia’s dentists gathered for their industry’s night of nights on Saturday night, with their annual Farmers Union Thanksgiving Dinner....

North East Road to be 100% service stations by 2026

9 January, 2020

9 January, 2020 1

With the rise in popularity of X Convenience service stations and OTR’s “they build one, we build two” policy, urban planning experts have revealed that this exponential growth will lead to North East Road becoming entirely lined with service stations by mid-2026.

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading