3 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Lifelong Athelstone resident still can’t tell difference between Gorge and George

DAN SCHMIDT

In an event that has left residents scratching their heads and emergency services mildly inconvenienced, Athelstone resident Ethel Stone has confessed to a lifelong struggle – deciphering the difference between George Street and Gorge Road.

‘It’s all very confusing, isn’t it?’ mused Ethel, peering intently at a crumpled street directory, ‘They sound the same, they run in the same direction, these roads are practically twins separated at birth, and they expect us to just remember which is which?’

The ongoing issue has sparked outrage amongst the silver set of Athelstone. So much so that the Athelstone Resident Seniors Ensemble (A.R.S.E.) has issued a strongly worded statement in blue biro demanding the council repaint one of the roads entirely in luminous orange.

‘It’s not just to help us’, grumbled A.R.S.E. Treasurer Cam Belltown ‘It’s the only way these young whippersnappers with their fancy GPS contraptions will ever learn the difference!’

‘Some of us still rely on the street directory’, said Cam, holing up a very well-worn copy of the 1986 Adelaide UBD ‘and have a look at this, I’ve just discovered there’s also a King George Road in Athelstone!’

‘To avoid further confusion, I move that we rename King George Road to Prince Andrew Road. Hopefully that deters the young people away from our suburb.’

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