6 September, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

FIVEaa caller still blaming “woke Frome st bike lane” for most of the things he’s angry about

TRENT BARTLETT

A long-time FIVEaa listener and long-time caller, has pinpointed the downfall of western society to one 1.1km piece of cycling infrastructure running through the Adelaide CBD.

The caller, known only as Terry from Fulham Gardens, presumably because that’s his name and place of residence, called in to Conversations with Cornesy to express his world view. A situation that baffled Cornesy and FIVEaa staff because the show doesn’t take callers and is pre-recorded weeks in advance.

“The second they painted that road green and removed all those parking spaces, things started going downhill,” Terry told a confused Cornesy who had just gotten to the good bit in his chat with Steve Vizard about how he came up with the idea to just do the Letterman show but in Australia.

“Everything is ‘what about the cyclist’ or ‘what about the trans person’ but what about you and me? When are they going to start looking after us, Colonel?” At this stage, we think Terry was confusing Graham Cornes with the fictional ‘Colonel’ from ‘Graham and the Colonel’, a segment featured on an ABC TV series that aired over 30 years ago.

When pressed by Vizard on how the name ‘Cheer Cheese’ related to the Frome Street bike lane, Terry became flustered, repeating the phrase ‘cancel culture’ multiple times before seeming to begin chanting the name ‘Tony Abbott’. The call was interrupted to make way for a Posture Care Chair Company live read and seven minutes of ads for funeral homes.

Related Posts

Office worker finds any excuse to tell you that she did City To Bay

16 September, 2019

16 September, 2019

You don’t typically see Sarah from marketing at the office before 9am at best. And to see her away from...

Adelaide man thinks shirt smelling like smoke is the biggest issue as hundreds flee homes

21 November, 2019

21 November, 2019

As residents of Yorke Peninsula have fled their homes overnight, only to hear this morning that their property is lost,...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

OTR owners on-track to own literally everything ever created

23 October, 2018

23 October, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have doubled down on their bid to stage a hostile takeover of all...

Premier’s speech writer now being paid on a Cost-Per-“Flex Up”-Mention basis

5 January, 2022

5 January, 2022

TRENT BARTLETT In a bid to cut costs during South Australia’s post-Freedom Day celebrations, Premier Steven Marshall has moved a...

Every Polites building to be heritage listed in 2020

6 September, 2019

6 September, 2019

In a surprising move by the SA Heritage Listing Council, it has been deemed that each and every Polites building...

Entire train deeply confused by passenger getting off at Chidda

28 October, 2025

28 October, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT In a completely unprecedented situation, a passenger on a Gawler Central-bound train has alighted at Chidda Railway Station....

99.98% of all SA servo robberies perpetrated by the servo

12 March, 2019

12 March, 2019

South Australia has the highest service station robbery rates in the nation. However, largely due to our Peregrine overlords, it...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Kasey Chambers found to be just pretty enough for Elizabeth Schnithouse

1 October, 2018

1 October, 2018

Responding to continued questioning from Kasey Chambers, the South Australian Musician Attractiveness Commission has found the songstress to register aesthetics...

Heroic Dad spending five nights saving Pageant spot directly outside Wakefield Hotel

7 November, 2022

7 November, 2022

FATHER’S CHRISTMAS: Adelaide dad of three and soon to be ex-husband to one, Pat Turnerty, is proving great devotion to...

South Australian banned from returning to Adelaide from Victoria Square

31 July, 2020

31 July, 2020

Alrighty. Strap yourselves in readers, because with a headline like that, this is surely going to be a pretty poor...

“Should be fine”, says Year 12 now counting exactly how many hours left to start revising for tomorrow’s exam

6 November, 2023

6 November, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT As Year 12 teachers continue to peddle the lie that students should be starting to wind down their...

Keith Martyn’s 2022 South Australian Almanac painfully blunt yet precise

11 January, 2022

11 January, 2022

The Prince of Pascals, Keith Martyn, has once again accurately summarised South Australian circumstances in his annual (yearly) almanac. Whilst...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading