16 January, 2022 South Australia's other fake news source

Keith Martyn’s 2022 South Australian Almanac painfully blunt yet precise

DAN SCHMIDT

The Prince of Pascals, Keith Martyn, has once again accurately summarised South Australian circumstances in his annual (yearly) almanac.

Whilst Ol’ Keefy (as he likes to be called) traditionally released almanacs containing a wide breadth of information about South Australia, ranging from local fishing spots to local fishing conditions, the state of South Australia is summed up in two simple expletive words in the 2022 edition.

“Shit’s fucked.”

Keith Martyn, 2022

Whilst what Keith is referring to exactly with this statement is unclear, it seems pretty accurate nonetheless.

Weather (get it?) it be our current health or social dilemmas, weather, imposed restrictions, the Britannia Roundabout, gardening conditions, the fact that Shotz is no longer open, or the lack of whiting off the coast, Keith has once again eloquently summarised it all.

Keith Martyn’s latest almanac is available for everyone to purchase as a very late Christmas present for the grandfather you haven’t got around to seeing yet because of COVID and also because you’re a shitty grandchild at your local Keith-MARTyn’s (K-Mart).

Editor’s note: Funny (and true) story. If you search for Keith Martyn on Google, the first picture displayed above his official summary is by us. We don’t have any real goals with this website, but we’re pretty sure we achieved one with this:

in Life, News
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