16 April, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his own popularity as leader to boost the way in which Premier Steven Marshall is perceived by the South Australian public.

The month-long political manoeuvre has been cumbersomely titled: Operation Make South Australian Premier Steven Marshall Appear To Be A Better Leader But Only In Comparison To My Own Ineptitude or OMSAPSMATBABLBOICTMOI, for simplicity.

The nationwide strategy was suggested last year at a conference attended by federal and state Liberal leaders and involves the Prime Minister appearing as entirely incompetent and heartless as a means of ensuring ongoing support for the nation’s Liberal Premiers.

Given that the idea has no room for mindless finger-pointing between State and Federal leaders, political analysts initially believed that the operation had no chance of success. However, the idea’s inherent opportunity to ignore climate change proved too much of an allure.

So far, OMSAPSMATBABLBOICTMOI has proven mildly successful for Premier Steven Marshall, with his popularity with opinion polling showing that 4.5% of South Australians think Marshall is doing an excellent job. 

Liberal strategists had been predicting that number to be far lower, at around -30%. (Although it should be noted that some of these strategists were also responsible for counting Peter Dutton’s votes during the 2018 leadership spill, so you know, grain of salt and all that).

Related Posts

Peter Van the Party Man really just wants a quiet night in with the kids

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

It’s been over thirty years of non-stop debauchery for Goodwood Road’s most-famous party man Peter Van, but his days of...

Adelaide Metro bus driver sets heater to a nice comfortable 48 degrees

2 July, 2020

2 July, 2020

As we enter the middle of a mild winter, Adelaide public transport operators are doing the best to ensure the...

Surely selecting VICTORIA Park as a testing location was a deliberate low-key diss

5 August, 2020

5 August, 2020

Our state’s newest COVID-19 drive through testing station opened in Adelaide’s Victoria Park this morning, resulting in car queues of...

AFP raids Adelaide Mail offices only to find Xavier Minniecon

5 June, 2019

5 June, 2019

One year after publishing a damning exposé on the existence of the fictional suburb Kingswood, Australian Federal Police officers have...

Neo-nazis get wires crossed, end up at St Kilda Adventure Playground

6 January, 2019

6 January, 2019

When Salisbury’s resident neo-nazis Morgan Dolkhatch and Barry “Knuckles” Mudflap found out about an upcoming rally of right wing extremists...

Rotting Big Orange attracts terrifying Big Fruit Flies

26 February, 2021

26 February, 2021

One of South Australia’s most famous closed tourist attractions has been left to rot for years and is now attracting...

Chronically late coworker still using Clipsal as excuse for being late

25 March, 2019

25 March, 2019

In what is becoming a true stretch of coworkers’ patience, Donald Thermium has continued to cite ‘Clipsal’ as an excuse...

Elon Musk regrets not getting a second slab of West End from The Commercial Hotel in Jamestown

28 June, 2018

28 June, 2018

Global entrepreneur and deadset legend, Elon Musk, is still reminiscing about installing the world’s largest battery in South Australia’s far...

No media bias: For every negative Power article, we run at least 0.2 negative Crows articles

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

SHOWDOWN WEEK: It’s often stated that there is a media bias in South Australia when it comes to our AFL...

Oakbank Racing Club releases At-Home Horse Euthanasia Kit for those missing the Easter carnival

12 April, 2020

12 April, 2020

Organisers of the annual Oakbank Easter Carnival are looking at novel ways to give punters a way to enjoy all...

Dad asks if you know what Myponga smells like

7 February, 2020

7 February, 2020

A Woodville South family once again became the butt of dad’s joke yesterday evening. An hour after the family’s Mexican...

Nobody asking ‘why no Adelaide?’ about this band’s tour for some reason

13 February, 2019

13 February, 2019

Dozens of international bands tour Australia each year, with many of them bypassing South Australia’s capital in favour of its...

Suburb of Paradise hit with false claims lawsuit

15 January, 2019

15 January, 2019

The north-eastern suburb of Paradise has found itself in legal trouble with a class action lawsuit being filed by thousands...

Port Power to continue playing to empty stadiums amid crowd ban

11 March, 2020

11 March, 2020

TOM STEWART Port Power are reportedly excited for “business as usual” this season, as the AFL is speculated to announce...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: