20 May, 2022

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his own popularity as leader to boost the way in which Premier Steven Marshall is perceived by the South Australian public.

The month-long political manoeuvre has been cumbersomely titled: Operation Make South Australian Premier Steven Marshall Appear To Be A Better Leader But Only In Comparison To My Own Ineptitude or OMSAPSMATBABLBOICTMOI, for simplicity.

The nationwide strategy was suggested last year at a conference attended by federal and state Liberal leaders and involves the Prime Minister appearing as entirely incompetent and heartless as a means of ensuring ongoing support for the nation’s Liberal Premiers.

Given that the idea has no room for mindless finger-pointing between State and Federal leaders, political analysts initially believed that the operation had no chance of success. However, the idea’s inherent opportunity to ignore climate change proved too much of an allure.

So far, OMSAPSMATBABLBOICTMOI has proven mildly successful for Premier Steven Marshall, with his popularity with opinion polling showing that 4.5% of South Australians think Marshall is doing an excellent job. 

Liberal strategists had been predicting that number to be far lower, at around -30%. (Although it should be noted that some of these strategists were also responsible for counting Peter Dutton’s votes during the 2018 leadership spill, so you know, grain of salt and all that).

Related Posts

Annoying ‘Yip Yip, Uh-huh Uh-huh’ Martian costumes also stolen, nobody cares

22 April, 2021

22 April, 2021

With the return of the Big Bird costume stolen from the Sesame Street Circus Spectacular in Bonython Park, it has...

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

1 September, 2020

1 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

Phone lines jammed as 24 million Australians all ring Victor Harbor to check on Nan

17 March, 2020

17 March, 2020

TOM STEWART In what has become a serious test of the nation’s telecommunications infrastructure, 24 million phone calls were placed...

Pray for Kane: Cornes forced to scrap next six months of story ideas

4 September, 2019

4 September, 2019

Kane Cornes’s media career has been thrown into disarray after Adelaide Crows co-captain Taylor Walker announced that he will be...

Could’ve been more specific, say mates meeting at ‘Shit Norwood Cafe’

12 November, 2019

12 November, 2019

A pair of old friends who had arranged to catch up at ‘That shitty Italian place on The Parade’ are...

Send help. Stuck in traffic on way to Yorke’s. Running out of food. Tell wife I love her.

12 June, 2021

12 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT It’s been fourteen hours since we left home bound for Innes National Park. We thought that we were...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

The Queen just found out Elizabeth is named after her and she is fucking pissed

31 May, 2021

31 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT As if her year couldn’t get any worse, Queen Elizabeth II has just learned that the northern Adelaide...

Showy Reynella family splash out on leather recliner for front porch

11 February, 2019

11 February, 2019

For as long as the Tonstelhans have lived on Highercombe Street in Reynella they have been trying to out-do their...

170kg Clapham man favourite for Bay Sheffield after being handed 105m handicap

28 December, 2018

28 December, 2018

Cuddly giant Kade Gypsum has steamed ahead as the bookies’ favourite for the iconic Bay Sheffield foot race after being...

Victorian music journo asking for directions to “The Barton” theatre

29 January, 2019

29 January, 2019

Visiting Victorian music journalist Gulag Torquehand has lost her patience with seemingly unhelpful South Australians after asking dozens of Adelaideans...

Norwood cafe Argo to begin taking bookings for those who just want to line up

24 October, 2018

24 October, 2018

In a move described by industry experts as ‘revolutionary’, the popular eastern suburbs brunch spot Argo is to begin taking...

Turns out Christies Beach sludge spill just rejected Caleb Bond articles

13 November, 2018

13 November, 2018

A break-in at the Christies Beach sewage treatment plant has seen the nearby beach closed for a stretch of 200...

Adelaide Metro bus driver sets heater to a nice comfortable 48 degrees

2 July, 2020

2 July, 2020

As we enter the middle of a mild winter, Adelaide public transport operators are doing the best to ensure the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: