14 May, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Exposé: Balfours caught using caged footballs for pies

In a shocking discovery by Adelaide Mail undercover journalists, it has come to light that Balfours is keeping the footballs for their famous Footy Pies in cramped, dirty and inhumane conditions.

Tattered and malnourished Sherrins are caged without adequate food or fresh water before being brutally slaughtered for pastry filling. Consumers are shocked to also learn that all parts of the footy are used for the pie, including laces and stitching.

We initially did start with free range footies, but our new production methods have significantly lowered our costs

However, Balfours are defending the use of caged footies, spokeswoman Ava Pastie stated ‘We initially did start with free range footies, but our new production methods have significantly lowered our costs, making Footy Pies affordable for South Australian families’.

But PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Australian Rules Footballs) has naturally slammed Balfours’ decision.

To hear an interview with the man who made the first Footy pie, and many other hilarious stories from Balfours, have a listen to the AdeLOL podcast episode below.

Related Posts

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

18 November, 2020

18 November, 2020

South Australia’s Psychic and Body Odour festival has once again been cancelled due to events that nobody saw coming. This...

Playford resident quickly finds out why House & Land package was so cheap

8 October, 2018

8 October, 2018

Finally deciding to bite the bullet of home ownership, Mel Ashton, 29, of Smithfield, felt she could not go past...

Showy Reynella family splash out on leather recliner for front porch

11 February, 2019

11 February, 2019

For as long as the Tonstelhans have lived on Highercombe Street in Reynella they have been trying to out-do their...

Sober Sea & Vines patron can still hear DJ Ötzi’s Hey Baby in his ears

11 June, 2019

11 June, 2019

Having committed to a well-intentioned but poorly-timed ‘month off the turps’ Alsace Lorraine found himself as designated driver for this...

170kg Clapham man favourite for Bay Sheffield after being handed 105m handicap

28 December, 2018

28 December, 2018

Cuddly giant Kade Gypsum has steamed ahead as the bookies’ favourite for the iconic Bay Sheffield foot race after being...

Office worker finds any excuse to tell you that she did City To Bay

16 September, 2019

16 September, 2019

You don’t typically see Sarah from marketing at the office before 9am at best. And to see her away from...

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

TRENT BARTLETT Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that...

Plans for Adelaide Hills Theme Park ‘Magic Mount Lofty’ announced

22 March, 2019

22 March, 2019

The Adelaide Hills Council have announced development plans for a ‘new’ theme park at the state’s most popular hiking destination...

Terrified Glynde residents flee after active volcano discovered in area

15 May, 2020

15 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Residents of the inner north-eastern suburb of Glynde are reportedly fleeing the area in droves after an active...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

Old mate puts Holden badge on new Camaro

30 July, 2019

30 July, 2019

With the release of American muscle-car the Chevrolet Camaro to Australia, avid Holden fan Beau Ghan was excited to somehow get...

“Never doubted ‘em” says Crows fan who chopped up membership after his seats were moved for 2021

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Former Adelaide Football Club member Jesper Cantankeron maintains that his faith in his footy club never wavered, despite...

Homeowner a bit suss on this tradie fixing their fence

13 November, 2020

13 November, 2020

When Jessica Footings-Colorbond of Banksia Park was searching for a traidie to fix her fence, she should have known better...

Crows list manager convinced Ashton Kutcher is behind news of player requesting trade TO the Crows

6 October, 2020

6 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In genuinely unprecedented news, an AFL player has made public his desire to move to the Adelaide Football...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: