20 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Exposé: Balfours caught using caged footballs for pies

In a shocking discovery by Adelaide Mail undercover journalists, it has come to light that Balfours is keeping the footballs for their famous Footy Pies in cramped, dirty and inhumane conditions.

Tattered and malnourished Sherrins are caged without adequate food or fresh water before being brutally slaughtered for pastry filling. Consumers are shocked to also learn that all parts of the footy are used for the pie, including laces and stitching.

We initially did start with free range footies, but our new production methods have significantly lowered our costs

However, Balfours are defending the use of caged footies, spokeswoman Ava Pastie stated ‘We initially did start with free range footies, but our new production methods have significantly lowered our costs, making Footy Pies affordable for South Australian families’.

But PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Australian Rules Footballs) has naturally slammed Balfours’ decision.

To hear an interview with the man who made the first Footy pie, and many other hilarious stories from Balfours, have a listen to the AdeLOL podcast episode below.

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