29 July, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Penfolds to release limited edition cask Grange

In an effort to appeal to a wider and less affluent market, Penfolds have taken a new and innovative direction for their next release of Australia’s most revered wine.

Usually at a starting cost of around $200 a bottle, and up to $80,000 for older releases, the famous South Australian wine company will take a slight change in direction for their 2020 batch.

‘It’s all about capturing a younger, poorer, drunker market’, said Penfolds vice-assistant head of innovation, Gamay Labrusca ‘for too long we’ve priced these people away from Penfolds Grange. Plus, we’ve just seen the profit statement in Berri Estate’s annual report. I mean, who wouldn’t want a slice of that?’

What will inevitably be colloquially known as “Goon Grange” will be released in 2020, with cask wine enthusiasts already ensuring their Hills-Hoist clotheslines are in peak condition.

Adelaide Mail spoke with one of the State’s leading box-wine connoisseurs and Modbury High student Clint Weissherbst about the upcoming Grange release, to which he stated ‘Yeah, I’m hell pumped for it, hey? House parties in the holidays gonna’ be sick and also classy as’.

Combining two South Australian  icons, the Grange Casks will be released at a shelf price of $160, making it the most expensive, and therefore most prestigious, cask-wine in the world. The limited edition casks will be released in 4 litre quantities. When Penfolds we’re questioned why they went with this quantity instead of the traditional 5 litre goon-sack, they replied ‘Please, we have some class’.

Related Posts

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Chronically late coworker still using Clipsal as excuse for being late

25 March, 2019

25 March, 2019

In what is becoming a true stretch of coworkers’ patience, Donald Thermium has continued to cite ‘Clipsal’ as an excuse...

Glam Adelaide intern fired for only reposting Southport Beach stairs six times in a week

31 August, 2020

31 August, 2020

A social media intern at South Australia’s home of lifestyle news and filtered drone photos, Glam Adelaide, has been let...

Stirling stoner claims local chemist name is misleading

3 February, 2020

3 February, 2020

An Adelaide Hills stay-at-home adult daughter and Oreos connoisseur Chakra Vortwenti is claiming that the name of her local pharmacy...

Bogged Popeye blocks River Torrens trade route

25 March, 2021

25 March, 2021

One of South Australia’s most tolerated icons has found itself stuck in Adelaide’s main trade route, the River Torrens. Causing...

TAFE SA qualifications now offered on Foodland dockets with purchase over $40

3 December, 2018

3 December, 2018

The aftermath of controversy, audits, resignations, misconduct and corruption has led to TAFE SA taking drastic measures to ensure qualifications...

Government shocked when video of weeping man doesn’t encourage tourists to flock to SA

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

A baffling marketing campaign featuring an elderly man weeping as he toured throughout South Australia’s tourism hot spots has been...

Protesters storm Tea Tree Plaza Caffe Primo demanding return of $9.90 meals

8 January, 2021

8 January, 2021

Thousands of South Australian patriots have shown up at Caffe Primo to demand the return of the $9.90 meal special,...

(BOT ARTICLE) O-Bahn takes Caleb Bond to Chidda for Iced Coffee drink

14 December, 2020

14 December, 2020

NOTE: It’s the end of the year and we’re running out of ideas. So we decided to put every Adelaide...

North East Road to be 100% service stations by 2026

9 January, 2020

9 January, 2020 1

With the rise in popularity of X Convenience service stations and OTR’s “they build one, we build two” policy, urban planning experts have revealed that this exponential growth will lead to North East Road becoming entirely lined with service stations by mid-2026.

Misguided Get This tribute lands nerds in middle of Veale Gardens beat

4 July, 2019

4 July, 2019

An ill-advised tribute tour of every landmark referenced in cult Triple M radio show Get This has ended in the...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

“Never doubted ‘em” says Crows fan who chopped up membership after his seats were moved for 2021

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Former Adelaide Football Club member Jesper Cantankeron maintains that his faith in his footy club never wavered, despite...

Bloke asking ‘Which Freeway do you mean?’ definitely not from here

5 November, 2019

5 November, 2019

A motorist who stopped at a Glen Osmond Road service station for directions to the closest mechanical likeness of a mythical...

50sixone to enforce minimum Instagram follower count policy for all diners

4 July, 2018

4 July, 2018

Diners of trendy dessert cafe 50sixone might need to rethink their after-dinner plans tonight following a change in policy from...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: