Fresh on her way from the Superbowl afterparty, Taylor Swift’s private jet has touched down about 40 kilometres north of Adelaide en route to Melbourne for maintenance.
Landing on that dusty carpark near the bike jumps, it is reported that Taylor was so taken aback with the beauty of the regional South Australian town Two Wells that she decided to write a new track entitled “All Two Wells” (SA Version).
Some of the more observant Swifties may realise that it essentially just a rewrite of her track “All Too Well” with some minor lyric changes referencing the town.
Opening with the line, “I walked to The Commercial with you, the West End was cold” sets the scene for many local references about the town centred around the theme of having a broken Hart (Reserve).
The next nine and a half minutes of the song are basically Taylor just ad-libbing about things like the Bakery Menu, the footy getting stuck in the trees or rolling into the cemetery when you kick a goal at the southern end of the oval, and how it’s sometimes tricky to know if the Village Green Barbeque is actually on.
The iconic “Red Scarf” reference has changed slightly to be instead centred around a Red Guernsey, presumably as a nod to the three consecutive Adelaide Plains Football League Grade A Premierships won by the Roosters. Hell of a run, honestly.
With the rumoured release of the upcoming demo track, Taylor’s online army are already speculating about other potential SA Versions including “Cruel Somerton Park”, “Out of the Woodville”, “You need to calm Roxby Downs”, and “Bad Bloods” (Westies version).
Editor’s Note: Thanks to Nick (a grown man who is just a bit too much into Taylor Swift) for this story idea he sent us over two years ago. We just wanted to see if we could do a worse article than The Advertiser’s Taylor clickbait. We think we failed.
