20 April, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

All we want to know about the SkyCity Casino upgrade is if they’ve brought back the horse racing game

DAN SCHMIDT

The new upgraded section of the SkyCity Adelaide casino has opened and it seems they’re letting all local media in except for us.

Now, this could possibly be because we’re permanently banned from SkyCity for setting up an elaborate yet ultimately unsuccessful card counting operation on the $5 Pontoon table, but we feel this is unjust.

Anyway, it seems everyone is being let in and covering the new hotel, facilities and bars, but nobody is reporting back if they’ve dusted off the old Royal Ascot machine and put in front and centre as the main attraction.

Legend has it that some animal rights protesters damaged the machine in the early 2000’s, but the team at Adelaide Mail remains hopeful in has returned to the new SkyCity Adelaide.

We also remain hopeful the Adelaide Casino will continue to upkeep its classy reputation by continuing to let in people wearing shorts and sneakers, which is the Adelaide equivalent of formal attire.

Related Posts

Tensions escalate as Hamas mistakenly bombs Gaza Footy Club

29 January, 2020

29 January, 2020

A north-eastern Adelaide football club has been mistakenly drawn into a long-running Middle Eastern conflict solely because their name is...

Campbelltown man installs sprinklers to water concrete while he’s on holiday

12 July, 2018

12 July, 2018

A Campbelltown man has installed a state-of-the-art, new sprinkler system to continue a strict routine of concrete watering over his...

Adelaide in midst of annual coloured chalk shortage

7 November, 2018

7 November, 2018

‘Tis the season for Christmas pageants throughout the state, and with that comes the yearly coloured chalk supply shortage. Parents...

Adelaide poaches Open Mouth Kissing Strangers You’ve Just Met Festival from Victoria

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In news that has been sitting on our desk for years, but we never got around to writing...

City resident can’t go twenty minutes without telling someone they live in the CBD

15 October, 2018

15 October, 2018

Even after months after moving into her new South Terrace apartment, Ebony Higgs of Adelaide, continues to remind everyone of...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

Confused F1 fan arrives in Albert Park, SA ahead of Grand Prix

14 March, 2019

14 March, 2019

Lanyard Boystongue didn’t know what to expect upon arriving in Adelaide ahead of the 2019 Australian Formula One Grand Prix....

Power fan really hopes those photos from 1993 never resurface

16 October, 2020

16 October, 2020

1993, it was a simpler time. No social media, you could still smoke on public transport (well you weren’t meant...

Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre will abolish Pike Position

12 December, 2019

12 December, 2019

With the Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre HQ looking to go ahead sometime in the near future because they’re the Crows...

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

Any Crows fans under 60 eligible for Junior Membership

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

As the Adelaide Crows attempt to go back-to-back in the 2021, the club has restructured its membership plans to better...

Greenhills Adventure Park equipment repurposed for new ‘Greenhill Road Adventure Park’

1 February, 2019

1 February, 2019

After closing over two years ago, Victor Harbor’s biggest attraction and insurance liability Greenhills Adventure Park will have a new...

Playford resident quickly finds out why House & Land package was so cheap

8 October, 2018

8 October, 2018

Finally deciding to bite the bullet of home ownership, Mel Ashton, 29, of Smithfield, felt she could not go past...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: