26 January, 2023

You can visit Red Square this weekend! (And by ‘Red Square’ we mean some ginger nerd)

DAN SCHMIDT

With news breaking that pubs will not commence reopening until June, there are still plenty of ways to have fun in Adelaide.

Why not pay a visit to Red Square this weekend? No, we don’t mean Adelaide’s premier and least ventilated nightclub, we mean Todd’s house.

Todd is some ginger we know. Nice enough, but he’s clearly a nerd. We all know a Todd, maybe he’s an old highschool friend who you’ve been meaning to catch up with for a while, maybe he’s that guy you met in the first year of uni when you had no other friends, or perhaps your Todd is just that annoying latcher-on but you know shutting him down would absolutely crush him.

Either way, now is the perfect time to visit that Red Square, so you can at least get it out of the way before we can all actually go out and drink again. Sure, it probably won’t be as “fun” as visiting the actual Red Square, but we’re sure the conversation will be pleasant, albeit a little awkward at times. But on the upside, you’re probably far less likely to be assaulted by thugs posing as security guards.

Related Posts

Adelaide Uni law student disappoints family of doctors

24 April, 2019

24 April, 2019

Sometimes having the best opportunities in life does not necessarily lead to fulfilling every expectation. Few things illuminate this concept...

8 Common Phrases Only Adelaide People Will Understand

7 August, 2021

7 August, 2021

These are SUCH Adelaide phrases.

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas will probably settle for Parabanks gig again

26 October, 2018

26 October, 2018

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

New reality TV series to be set in Barossa – “Tanundacover Boss”

5 February, 2021

5 February, 2021

As more commercial television content continues to be produced locally, there is one new series that certainly begs the question...

“Melbourne is so much better” says girl who couldn’t afford to live there

16 July, 2019

16 July, 2019

Having recently moved back to Adelaide after a brief stint in Australia’s most consistently overcast city, polaroid photography student Edith...

Adelaide in midst of annual coloured chalk shortage

7 November, 2018

7 November, 2018

‘Tis the season for Christmas pageants throughout the state, and with that comes the yearly coloured chalk supply shortage. Parents...

Nu-Metal band sees potential in Adelaide Real Estate Market

6 June, 2019

6 June, 2019

With the Adelaide Real Estate market still representing great value for investors and first home buyers, a new agency established...

Urgent health alert issued for anybody who visited PJ’s on a Thursday in the mid-2000s

4 August, 2020

4 August, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT People who visited an Irish-themed Adelaide city pub on a Thursday night after 9pm in the mid-2000s are...

Walkerville to be renamed Eddiebettsville

18 August, 2021

18 August, 2021

Despite being neither walkable or anything to do with the disgraced Taylor Walker, the suburb of Walkerville is to be...

Peter Van’s to close; Advertiser wonders how many more times it can use phrase “Party’s over”

24 January, 2020

24 January, 2020

As news emerged that Adelaide’s resident Party Man, Peter Van will be ceasing all partying come March, subeditors at satirical...

What the hell is East Terrace’s deal, anyway?

29 July, 2019

29 July, 2019

For all the plaudits paid to South Australia’s most famous drawer of grids Colonel William Light, nobody has ever bothered...

Crows fan still angry about Ian Perrie for some reason

4 April, 2019

4 April, 2019

Their forward line has been a constant source of contempt for Adelaide Crows fans since Tony Modra packed up his...

Too old for Hindley Street but too young for Leigh Street, 28 year old just stays at home

20 August, 2018

20 August, 2018

The glory days of The Woolshed, Red Square, yiros shops and grievous bodily assaults are over for Sam Lee, 28...

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty’s kilt

28 March, 2019

28 March, 2019

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results. ‘There’s...

99.98% of all SA servo robberies perpetrated by the servo

12 March, 2019

12 March, 2019

South Australia has the highest service station robbery rates in the nation. However, largely due to our Peregrine overlords, it...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: