6 June, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Crows fans oddly supportive of cancellation of AFL season

Crows fans are throwing their support behind the permanent cancellation of AFL matches as a precaution to the growing threat of the COVID-19 virus.

Even the most conservative health experts have dismissed the idea of a permanent cancellation of sporting leagues as excessive, however, one group of Adelaide Crows fans has floated the idea as an act of precaution.

‘No, this has nothing to do with our prospects for the season’, says Crows Fan Club Assistant Treasurer and Crepe Paper Enthusiast Claude Crowe. ‘This has nothing to with our prospects, we just want everyone to be safe and it has absolutely nothing to do with our prospects for the season’.

‘To be honest, I’m confident about the season ahead. I had us down in the top eight, probably pushing for top four if a few results fall our way. So, to be honest, this is devastating. But I just think, it’d be better if we never play football ever again and that has nothing to do with our prospects for the season. None whatsoever’.

It has absolutely nothing to do with our prospects for the season

Amidst the unsolicited reassurances that he had been confident in the season ahead, Crowe began arguing with us about how Wayne Milera is better than several departed Adelaide players.

‘We’ve got Wayne, and he can go back if we need him. So immediately, that fills the gap left by Lever and Keath. He can take a mark so all of a sudden you’re going “we don’t need McGovern anymore” and he can play on the ball so we don’t need that flog Danger. So it’s a shame that the season’s not going ahead because Wayne’s better than all those guys. But I seriously think we should err on the side of caution and that has nothing to do with our prospects for this season’.

Tags: in News, Sport
Related Posts

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Superloop gives up, starts referring to itself as ‘Clipsal’

21 February, 2019

21 February, 2019

Before the first Superloop 500 event has even started, the company behind the naming rights has reportedly already given up...

Yatala Vale resident tired of explaining it’s nowhere near the prison

14 February, 2020

14 February, 2020

A resident of Yatala Vale, a picturesque semi-rural suburb in Adelaide’s outer north-east, is fed up being asked if she...

New “Farmers Onion” Iced Coffee flavour only popular with one man

29 October, 2019

29 October, 2019

In a bold new move by South Australia’s highest selling beverage company, the new Farmer’s Union, “Farmer’s Onion” Iced Coffee...

Remember when K-Mart was still called Keith-Martyn’s? And only sold Keith Martyn Almanacs?

4 May, 2020

4 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT We’re sure that older readers of Adelaide Mail remember this. In fact, if you do you are probably...

Old mate puts Holden badge on new Camaro

30 July, 2019

30 July, 2019

With the release of American muscle-car the Chevrolet Camaro to Australia, avid Holden fan Beau Ghan was excited to somehow get...

Easter weekend marks beginning of ‘Be afraid to wear your Kathmandu jacket in public’ season

11 April, 2020

11 April, 2020

It’s easy to forget that Easter carries with it a deeper, important meaning for so many in our community. For...

China finds crafty solution to Baby Formula problem

26 November, 2019

26 November, 2019

With the aftermath of 2008’s Chinese milk scandal still looming over parents’ minds across the country, one Chinese company has...

Councillor Anne Moran proposes demolishing all buildings over 1m tall

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Adelaide City Councillor and development containment officer Anne Moran will put to council a bold plan to demolish all permanent...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

Bus uses self-destruct function after learning it will be servicing new Hackham to Hillbank route

19 May, 2020

19 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT An Adelaide Metro bus who recently learned that it will be redeployed into a new route servicing some...

OTR owners on-track to own literally everything ever created

23 October, 2018

23 October, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have doubled down on their bid to stage a hostile takeover of all...

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

5 February, 2020

5 February, 2020

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER. Within a manicured low-maintenance...

Para Hills resident claims she’s from the Adelaide Hills

14 February, 2019

14 February, 2019

Seeking to up her social status and property value, Brittney Mounts of Para Hills has decided that her suburb counts...

Outrage as advertising projected on to Adelaide’s most famous cultural landmark

9 October, 2018

9 October, 2018

The iconic brick façade of Adelaide’s West End Brewery will be used to advertise a party supplies shop after SA premier Stephen...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: