6 July, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of Victoria Square/Tarntanyangga has turned into bath-time for one Adelaide family.

But soon after the shoes and socks came off, there was nothing that single part-time father Darren Dropkick could, or intended to do to stop the kids instantly becoming drenched.

Darren, who has clearly given up for the rest of this year, and already most of next, decided that the soak technically counts as a bath for the evening. ‘I mean, sure, there’s no soap,  but they’re wet enough, and I’m sure the dead leaves and floating cigarette butts provide some sort of nutrients to the water’.

At least it’s a better bath than that time he took us to “The Bath Hotel” in Norwood

Darren, who requested to the Family Court to only see his kids once a month after the divorce, yet continually complains on facebook how the Family Court is biased against dads, stated he had a great time with the kids in the city. Particularly because he could mostly keep an eye on them playing in the fountain while he had some beers at Wild Nectre.

Despite Darren forgetting to bring towels, drinks, or remember to save any money to buy the kids dinner afterwards, his children reportedly had a good time during their two hour Christmas visit with their dad. ‘Usually the less he does, the better’, stated the shivering older child ‘at least it’s a better bath than that time he took us to “The Bath Hotel” in Norwood’.

The children were soon picked up by their mother and given an actual bath when they got home, followed by a diphtheria vaccination, just to be safe.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2019-20 Federal Budget, Josh didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table and...

Sight of OTR toilet instantly cures man’s violent diarrhoea

7 December, 2018

7 December, 2018

After a week in Bali and a big ‘welcome home’ night with the boys, city construction labourer, Trey Dee, was...

Instagrammer comments “Why no Adelaide?!” on tour announcement despite no intention of going

5 June, 2018

5 June, 2018

When international pop artist Shawn Mendes announced his Australian tour earlier this month, Cara O’Connell, 16, was less than amused at the glaring omission of Adelaide for the run of shows.

North East Road to be 100% service stations by 2026

9 January, 2020

9 January, 2020

With the rise in popularity of X Convenience service stations and OTR’s “they build one, we build two” policy, urban planning experts have revealed that this exponential growth will lead to North East Road becoming entirely lined with service stations by mid-2026.

Behold! The Garden of Unearthly Awkward Stop and Chats

19 February, 2020

19 February, 2020

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite the highest of expectations, one Gepps Cross man’s foray into the Garden of Unearthly Delights has degenerated...

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for...

Golden Grove resident protests removal of trees

17 January, 2020

17 January, 2020

As news breaks that over 180 trees will be removed from the streets of Golden Grove, one resident is doing...

Gawler line revealed to have nation’s lowest headphones-to-phone ratio

8 October, 2019

8 October, 2019

A new study has revealed that Adelaide’s northernmost train line leads the country in instances of mobile phones playing loud,...

Man on flight to Perth busted trying to take 55L of FUIC in carry on

27 February, 2019

27 February, 2019

Edwardstown man Pieter Goblettsen loves a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, so much so that he is said to have once...

Nobody asking ‘why no Adelaide?’ about this band’s tour for some reason

13 February, 2019

13 February, 2019

Dozens of international bands tour Australia each year, with many of them bypassing South Australia’s capital in favour of its...

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

‘Fool me 47 times, shame on you’ say Crows as they draft new Victorian

28 November, 2019

28 November, 2019

Adelaide Football Club’s recruitment team are all smiles this morning, emerging from the first leg of the 2019 AFL Draft...

Farmers Union branded blood glucose meters to hit On The Run shelves in 2019

27 July, 2018

27 July, 2018

Capitalising on the effect of the nation’s highest iced coffee consumption, Farmers Union has taken the bold initiative of developing...

OTR revise plans for HQ after helipad complaints; Now it’s just a giant Monty Python foot stomping on the eastern suburbs

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

Our omnipotent overlords at Peregrine Corporation have signalled that they’re ready to negotiate on plans for a new head office...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: