26 May, 2022

ShitAdelaide blocked us now we have to go outside to laugh at the poor

Having come to rely on a local Instagram account as our conduit to the outside world, our schedule had come to consist of only leaving the house to collect mail from the letterbox and stand by the O-Bahn entrance waiting for unsuspecting motorists to drive on to the track.

Following a largely one-sided stoush with Adelaide’s premier destination for jokes targeting the city’s fat, poor and mentally ill, the editors of this publication have been left blocked and without access to the ShitAdelaide Instagram account.

Mentors at the Adelaide Rehabilitation for ShitAdelaide Emancipation (ARSE) Centre have devised an intensive three month transition for this publication’s editors into life without the richness of ShitAdelaide. 

‘People are blocked from ShitAdelaide for a variety of reasons’, says Ulmer Plums head of rehabilitation at the centre. ‘Incorrect spelling. Pointing out incorrect spelling. Asking that admins stop posting videos of the mentally ill without their consent. But what we don’t see are the side-effects after the blocking. That’s what we’re here for’.

They’re in their first month of treatment right now, which involves finding poor people on the tram, secretly filming them and then saying things like “dis you” to their mates

‘South Australians rely on ShitAdelaide as a healthy way to laugh at themselves. Of course by that I mean “a healthy way to laugh at those less fortunate or fatter than them”. When people lose this release, they can become well-adjusted or even sympathetic to others. It really is an awful situation’.

‘What we have done for these Adelaide Mail boys is develop an all-encompassing three month course. They’re in their first month of treatment right now, which involves finding poor people on the tram, secretly filming them and then saying things like “dis you” to their mates. They’re doing great so far’.

Editor’s note: We assure that this is definitely not just sour grapes. Nope. I mean what would we do with 227K followers anyway?

Related Posts

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

11 November, 2019

11 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Mental health advocate lodges complaint over use of ‘Mad March’

5 March, 2019

5 March, 2019

In an unsurprising turn of events, a university academic with too much time on his hands over the summer break...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

Kasey Chambers found to be just pretty enough for Elizabeth Schnithouse

1 October, 2018

1 October, 2018

Responding to continued questioning from Kasey Chambers, the South Australian Musician Attractiveness Commission has found the songstress to register aesthetics...

Researchers find anyone who went to Mansions pre-2012 is immune to COVID-19 and most other things too

7 April, 2020

7 April, 2020

Fastracked South Australian TAFE short course health research graduates have made an initial discovery in what could be the first...

SA Liberal Party discovers crafty new way to make up for drop in GST revenue

7 October, 2020

7 October, 2020

Those paying attention to state treasurer Rob Lucas this week would have seen that he was largely unperturbed by the...

Victorian music journo asking for directions to “The Barton” theatre

29 January, 2019

29 January, 2019

Visiting Victorian music journalist Gulag Torquehand has lost her patience with seemingly unhelpful South Australians after asking dozens of Adelaideans...

Adelaide Uni law student disappoints family of doctors

24 April, 2019

24 April, 2019

Sometimes having the best opportunities in life does not necessarily lead to fulfilling every expectation. Few things illuminate this concept...

Steven Marshall reinvents himself with some snazzy new sneakers

9 January, 2019

9 January, 2019

Never one to shrink from the opportunity to imitate one of his federal government counterparts, South Australian Premier Steven Marshall...

City resident can’t go twenty minutes without telling someone they live in the CBD

15 October, 2018

15 October, 2018

Even after months after moving into her new South Terrace apartment, Ebony Higgs of Adelaide, continues to remind everyone of...

Premier wonders if his Photoshop skills will fool anyone

23 February, 2022

23 February, 2022

After opposition leader Peter Malinauskas posed for a series of shirtless photos at the Adelaide Aquatic Centre last week, Premier...

Councillor Anne Moran proposes demolishing all buildings over 1m tall

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Adelaide City Councillor and development containment officer Anne Moran will put to council a bold plan to demolish all permanent...

Bloke who spent $900 on Home Lottery tickets very satisfied with his $75 Heatworks gift card

28 September, 2018

28 September, 2018

Troy Simons of Rosewater, lives by the old adage ‘you gotta’ be in it to win it’, and ‘win it’...

“Ignore all the references to northern NSW, “Flame Trees” is definitely about Elizabeth”

26 November, 2020

26 November, 2020

Ask any true-blue northern suburbs local about Aussie rock and they’ll tell you a thing or two about a thing...

Victorians look to Adelaide for tips on how to shut down entire city by 8pm every night

10 August, 2020

10 August, 2020 4

TRENT BARTLETT As Melbourne continues to get themselves home no later than 8pm, Victorians have been looking across the border...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: