28 May, 2022

City of Unley removes controversial Will Smith from Cross Road window

DAN SCHMIDT

MAN IN BLACK: After news breaking of the now embattled Will Smith resigning from the Academy, the City of Unley has now taken the step to remove his cardboard cutout that’s been on display at a Cross Road house since about 1998.

In a move which some residents deem almost as controversial as Smith’s Oscars appearance, the City of Unley have left just the cutout Tommy Lee Jones to watch over the always annoying Cross Road traffic.

City of Unley spokesperson Mal Vern stated ‘We’re sad it’s come to this, and there will be some backlash, get it? People from this part of town will complain about anything! So we’re hoping to obtain one of those Neuralyzer memory eraser sticks from MIB so all the whingers forget he was ever there’.

‘We haven’t had much luck though’, continued Mal ‘That guy on Gumtree was just a massive scam. Turns out he just sold us was just a Maglite with a strobe function. Some old guy came to my office complaining about the removal of Will Smith and I ended up just giving him severe retina damage. He’s okay now though, and probably far less likely to complain about footpaths or whatever in the future, so it’s not all bad.’.

‘Anyway, because we can’t make people forget about it, we’re just rebranding it from the “Men In Black Cardboard Cutout” to another Tommy Lee Jones movie from the 90’s where he wears a suit’.

‘It will now be known as the “The Cardboard Cutout Of District Attorney Harvey Dent from the 1995 Action Film “Batman Forever”, Rated 39% On Rotten Tomatoes, Before Acid Is Thrown At Him In Court And He Becomes The Villain Two-Face”.

Has cancel culture gone too far? Have your say in the comments.

(Sorry, we just have to put that last bit in for audience engagement or something. We actually don’t care what you have to say, ever.)

Note: A big thanks once again to David M. Green for the headline idea. David is a local prolific comedy genius who does a lot of things a lot better than we ever could. His VHS Revue videos are well worth a watch if you enjoy Adelaide nostalgia and a good laugh.

Related Posts

Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

18 November, 2020

18 November, 2020

South Australia’s Psychic and Body Odour festival has once again been cancelled due to events that nobody saw coming. This...

Number One! Number One! SA leads the nation in this one key statistic

16 August, 2019

16 August, 2019

There aren’t too many measures in which South Australia ranks first amongst Australian states. Mainland states that is. We remain...

Moana commuter really appreciates that 20m stretch of Fiveash Dr with the 70kmh speed limit

30 June, 2020

30 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT A Moana resident who commutes to Adelaide’s eastern suburbs every day for work, has once again sent his...

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

New Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee merchandise instantly sells out of 5XL sizing

27 June, 2019

27 June, 2019

With Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee desperately trying to target the insta-millennial market with their new line of merchandise, the new...

REVEALED: Chicken Chef actually only qualified as a Kitchenhand

4 November, 2019

4 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

More like “Slowa Pasta” says local comedic genius

9 August, 2019

9 August, 2019

As a group of friends decided to treat themselves 1998’s best dining experience, little did they know what was in...

Government announce second road race for December – Santa’s Tour Down Under

28 January, 2020

28 January, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Riding a wave of excitement from the Tour Down Under, the state government are set to add a...

34 year old enters accepting Cruise 1323 absolutely slaps stage of life

16 May, 2022

16 May, 2022

For Hayley Neilsen it doesn’t feel like all that long ago she was eating pills found on the floor at...

Plans for Adelaide Hills Theme Park ‘Magic Mount Lofty’ announced

22 March, 2019

22 March, 2019

The Adelaide Hills Council have announced development plans for a ‘new’ theme park at the state’s most popular hiking destination...

REVEALED: Pelicans actually prefer to shop at TTP

13 November, 2019

13 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

State govt regrets choosing papier-mâché option for Darlington upgrade

9 May, 2019

9 May, 2019

With large swathes of load-bearing wall crumbling from the Darlington upgrade of South Road over the last week, questions have...

Adelaide poaches Open Mouth Kissing Strangers You’ve Just Met Festival from Victoria

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In news that has been sitting on our desk for years, but we never got around to writing...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: