Organisers of Adelaide’s Superloop 500 have once again demonstrated their firm grasp on the cultural pulse of modern Australia by announcing Guns N’ Roses as the headline act for the Adelaide 500, a decision widely praised by Triple M Music Directors who will now have a reason to start planning their Triple M’s Top 500 Gunners Songs Of All Time, again.
Event organisers were reportedly inspired by the spectacular Bad Bunny performance during yesterday’s Superbowl, although “this will be in English and therefore, not woke.”
In a touching nod to brand synergy, VAILO 500 officials confirmed that the event’s title will once again include the number “500” which will now officially reference the collective age of Guns N’ Roses members Axl Rose and Slash.
“We’re always looking for new ways to attract youth to the BP Adelaide 500 Grand Final”, Director of Music, Duststorms and Choosing The Pricepoint on Ready-To-Drink Alcohol, Jimmy Blasphem too Adelaide Mail. “After booking the great AC/DC last year, we wanted to see if we could go even younger.”
The setlist is expected to run for two and a half hours, mostly because Axl requires frequent toilet breaks. Slash, meanwhile, will reportedly remain completely stationary for the duration of the show, with plans to gradually fossilise over the course of the set. His fossilised remains are set to be turned into a statue at the Victoria Park track in another coup for South Australia.
