15 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Greenhills Adventure Park equipment repurposed for new ‘Greenhill Road Adventure Park’

After closing over two years ago, Victor Harbor’s biggest attraction and insurance liability Greenhills Adventure Park will have a new home just east of Adelaide’s CBD.

A Renew Adelaide initiative will see the majority of the old theme park’s equipment scattered alongside the major road. The new Greenhill Road Adventure park spokesperson, Ivana Slide told the Adelaide Mail ‘it’s all coming back, the waterslides, par 3 golf with industrial rubber greens, the maze, archery, go-karts, the second-degree burn causing metal slide, all right in the heart of the city’.

We believe the park will perfectly complement the overpriced tree-climb thing

Unveiling plans for the re-purposed adventure park, Ivana conceded that a few adaptations will have to be made ‘well for one, the giant flying fox will actually go over the road from the parklands to the KFC, which is great news as we can utilise the existing stobie poles. Secondly, peak hour traffic will have to be stopped on the hour every hour for the 45 minute park tour tractor ride. And finally, waterslides will only be available for use when the parklands recycled water sprinkler system is operating, or in periods of heavy rain’.

When queried by the Mail as to whether this was just established because of the similar name, ‘of course not, we wouldn’t cause major inconveniences to city traffic just to save $3940 including GST on new signage’.

‘We believe the park will perfectly complement the overpriced tree-climb thing and bring back some of that nostalgic joy of family holidays in Victor Harbor, without having to actually go to Victor Harbor, hell of a drive’.

in News
Related Posts

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

Man who suggested synchronising traffic light sequences swiftly fired

30 September, 2019

30 September, 2019

A staff member from South Australia’s Department of Planning, Transport & Infrastructure has been fired from his role as a...

Man considers moving after reading local Tea Tree Gully Facebook group

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

Less than 48 hours after joining the local community Facebook group “WHATS GOING ON IN TEA TREE GULLY”, lifetime North-East...

Garden Grove erect giant windsock to capture free top soil in dust storm

19 September, 2019

19 September, 2019

Landscape supplier Garden Grove best known for their trucks smelling like manure and mistakenly being called Golden Grove Supplies have...

REPORT: Tim Noonan really just a poor man’s Xavier Minniecon

10 January, 2020

10 January, 2020

After eighteen months of exhaustive studies, researchers are still unable to formally identify what the hell Channel Seven Weather Presenter...

New SA retail forecast in: All Rundle Mall shops to shut by 2021

21 February, 2020

21 February, 2020

The latest numbers are in for South Australia’s economy, and it’s not good news for the state’s struggling retail sector....

Entire city somehow surprised by annual road closures again

26 February, 2019

26 February, 2019

Despite a predictable schedule of annual road closures preceded by road signs forewarning motorists weeks in advance, the entire population...

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre will abolish Pike Position

12 December, 2019

12 December, 2019

With the Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre HQ looking to go ahead sometime in the near future because they’re the Crows...

Lucy Cornes confronts Martin Scorsese for stealing that Goodfellas tracking shot from her

10 February, 2020

10 February, 2020

Founder of digital marketing agency She Digital and self-described ‘Spiritual Being’ Lucy Cornes has taken to social media to accuse...

Car controlled by bees still more courteous than most Adelaide drivers

26 September, 2019

26 September, 2019

In a growing trend to worry drivers and parents across Adelaide, South Australian motorists are surrendering their cars to swarms...

Royal Park Salvage mascot should really get that middle leg looked at

11 February, 2020

11 February, 2020

Look, we’re not going to pretend we know what Royal Park Salvage does, or even go to the effort of...

Salesman optimistic about selling in-ground pool to family holding Bertie Beetle showbags

31 August, 2018

31 August, 2018

When it comes to closing the deal, Christian Levolsi backs himself like few other salesmen, so when he was faced...

This ALDI cookware is such a bargain you’ll almost forget about Australia’s history of systemic racism

2 June, 2020

2 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT What a glorious year under the good graces of the ALDI gods it has been. Just when we...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: