18 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Michael Keelan referred to as Keith Conlon for the last time!

TRENT BARTLETT

That’s it, he’s absolutely had it. At first it was funny, sometimes even a little bit flattering, but enough is enough. It’s time that people realise that Michael Keelan is not Keith Conlon and that’s that. 

Michael Keelan won’t be responding when people bump into him and say ‘sorry Keith Conlon’, he will no longer be signing autographs at the Australian Open with the name Keith Conlon and he most certainly will not be going to the emergency vet to identify species of native birds that accidentally flew into Keith Conlon’s remote-controlled plane. 


He doesn’t even have a beard. Keith Conlon has a beard and Michael Keelan does not have a beard. That should really be enough for most people to realise that Michael Keelan is not Keith Conlon. 

If another person calls in to Michael Keelan’s gardening show and says ‘morning Keith Conlon’ that will be the tipping point. Sparks will fly and you do not want to be around to see them. Get far away, because God only knows what will happen.

He doesn’t even have a beard. Keith Conlon has a beard and Michael Keelan does not have a beard

Please, if you see Michael Keelan out fishing or hosting Channel Nine’s Postcards, don’t approach him and definitely do not say ‘hi Keith Conlon’, it’s not worth it. 

Related Posts

Hinkley, Pyke given 3-year contract extensions to teach them a lesson

23 July, 2019

23 July, 2019

In light of two equally inconsistent seasons, both South Australian AFL clubs have found themselves scratching their heads at what...

Crows fan still angry about Ian Perrie for some reason

4 April, 2019

4 April, 2019

Their forward line has been a constant source of contempt for Adelaide Crows fans since Tony Modra packed up his...

Local pisshead really enjoying this 'Dry July' so far

3 July, 2019

3 July, 2019

Regency Park resident and drunkard Al Koholic has had a fantastic, albeit technically wrong, start to the popular ‘Dry July’ campaign. ‘When...

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

1 July, 2019

1 July, 2019

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun...

Para Hills resident claims she’s from the Adelaide Hills

14 February, 2019

14 February, 2019

Seeking to up her social status and property value, Brittney Mounts of Para Hills has decided that her suburb counts...

COMPROMISE FOUND: SA Govt to install new tram that ONLY turns right

20 November, 2018

20 November, 2018

After months of deliberation, studies and costings, Transport Minister Stephan Knoll announced on Sunday that the right-hand turn for trams...

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

Next season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ to actually be set in Adelaide’s premier suburb of Paradise

24 August, 2018

24 August, 2018

Due to excessive helicopter use and a vast majority of the budget being spent on Osher’s hair, Channel 10 executives have...

South Australia officially changing State slogan to “So what High School did you go to?”

17 September, 2018

17 September, 2018

Since discontinuing “The Festival State”, the South Australian Slogan Association (SASA) has decided on a new official state slogan after...

CBD skateboarders disappointed at lack of actual ramp outside RAH

9 November, 2018

9 November, 2018

Dozens of skateboarders gathered outside the Royal Adelaide Hospital Emergency Department yesterday as news spread about a new ramp near...

Spike in northern suburbs weddings ahead of Bali extramarital sex ban

22 September, 2019

22 September, 2019

The looming introduction of a new Indonesian law prohibiting extramarital sex and unmarried couples living together has seen a huge...

Local hip-hop trio find religion, rename themselves ‘Hillsong Hoods’

29 May, 2019

29 May, 2019

In a move that has shocked the hip-hop community, Adelaide’s most influential hip-hop group, Hilltop Hoods, have announced a change...

Man successfully connects to AdelaideFree wifi network

5 November, 2018

5 November, 2018

In what has been described as a once in a lifetime technological phenomenon, city worker Simon Line has defied astronomical...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: