11 July, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Michael Keelan referred to as Keith Conlon for the last time!

That’s it, he’s absolutely had it. At first it was funny, sometimes even a little bit flattering, but enough is enough. It’s time that people realise that Michael Keelan is not Keith Conlon and that’s that. 

Michael Keelan won’t be responding when people bump into him and say ‘sorry Keith Conlon’, he will no longer be signing autographs at the Australian Open with the name Keith Conlon and he most certainly will not be going to the emergency vet to identify species of native birds that accidentally flew into Keith Conlon’s remote-controlled plane. 


He doesn’t even have a beard. Keith Conlon has a beard and Michael Keelan does not have a beard. That should really be enough for most people to realise that Michael Keelan is not Keith Conlon. 

If another person calls in to Michael Keelan’s gardening show and says ‘morning Keith Conlon’ that will be the tipping point. Sparks will fly and you do not want to be around to see them. Get far away, because God only knows what will happen.

He doesn’t even have a beard. Keith Conlon has a beard and Michael Keelan does not have a beard

Please, if you see Michael Keelan out fishing or hosting Channel Nine’s Postcards, don’t approach him and definitely do not say ‘hi Keith Conlon’, it’s not worth it. 

Related Posts

‘Fool me 47 times, shame on you’ say Crows as they draft new Victorian

28 November, 2019

28 November, 2019

Adelaide Football Club’s recruitment team are all smiles this morning, emerging from the first leg of the 2019 AFL Draft...

Modbury Triangle celebrates 14th shopper of 2020

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

In what has been an admittedly slower year for one of the smaller metropolitan shopping outlets, Modbury Triangle Shopping Centre...

Sign at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre explains a lot about North Eastern suburbs fashion

6 February, 2020

6 February, 2020

A sign proclaiming Ingle Farm Shopping Centre to be ‘your local place for fashion’ has been found to offer an...

Old Commodore parked by Kuitpo signals start of ‘shroom season

18 June, 2019

18 June, 2019

A TRIP TO THE FOREST: Psychedelic Mushroom hunting season was declared open last week with the initiatory shitbox sighting on Brookman...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

Instead of going to The Show, kids simply empty mum’s wallet into bin

30 August, 2019

30 August, 2019

Katalina Glispers has countless fond memories of the Royal Adelaide Show as a child. From losing her two front teeth...

Man on flight to Perth busted trying to take 55L of FUIC in carry on

27 February, 2019

27 February, 2019

Edwardstown man Pieter Goblettsen loves a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, so much so that he is said to have once...

Sober Sea & Vines patron can still hear DJ Ötzi’s Hey Baby in his ears

11 June, 2019

11 June, 2019

Having committed to a well-intentioned but poorly-timed ‘month off the turps’ Alsace Lorraine found himself as designated driver for this...

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

Mix 102.3 accidentally goes 15 minutes without playing Smash Mouth

13 December, 2019

13 December, 2019

In an unfortunate series of mistakes that may cost Mix 102.3 in the year’s final round of radio ratings, the...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

More like “Slowa Pasta” says local comedic genius

9 August, 2019

9 August, 2019

As a group of friends decided to treat themselves 1998’s best dining experience, little did they know what was in...

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

23 January, 2020

23 January, 2020 1

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas will probably settle for Parabanks gig again

26 October, 2018

26 October, 2018

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: