8 August, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Showy Reynella family splash out on leather recliner for front porch

For as long as the Tonstelhans have lived on Highercombe Street in Reynella they have been trying to out-do their neighbours in a game of unrequited competition, most recently in a front porch sofa arms race.

The Tonstelhans were warned that a flashy front porch couch could be seen as ‘garish’ and ‘over-the-top’ by some of their neighbours, but that failed to stop Reynella’s resident show-offs from securing Harvey Norman’s most luxurious leather recliner.

‘We couldn’t let that bloody Franklin family get away with showing off like they were’, says Tonstelhan patriarch Garry.

‘They brought out that fabric sofa last Sunday and I could see what they were getting at. They thought we couldn’t afford anything like that, well…not only can the Tonstelhans afford the luxury of a sofa on our front porch, we can afford it on 24 months’ interest free’.

The purchase is not the only time Garry has bought into petty neighbourhood competitiveness, he explains: ‘The Smyths have that Wilderness College sticker on the bumper of their RAV4, so I thought “I’m not having that” and covered my back windscreen in stickers from every single Adelaide private school’.

They brought out that fabric sofa last Sunday and I could see what they were getting at. They thought we couldn’t afford anything like that

‘Or there was the time the Greenlings bought a caravan just to shove it in my face, so I thought “let’s see how they like it when I move one of those transportable buildings on to their front lawn”. Council made me move it after a couple of weeks, but I think I got my point across’.

Garry continues, ‘oh and the time that Joe Costello got that job as a real estate agent and kept parking his company car on the lawn across from us. I thought “you bloody show-off”. So I came up with this hilarious plan to kidnap his new boss and assume his identity’.

‘Then over the course of twelve years I convinced Joe that I was his real boss and that he was crazy when he said things like “I don’t remember Terry having a moustache” or “I’m pretty sure Terry was in a wheelchair when I first met him”’.

‘Then just before Christmas in 2013 I told him that he wouldn’t be getting a Christmas bonus and that his fuel card had been revoked. Should have seen the look on his face when I pulled off my fake moustache. It was hilarious, he was so confused, possibly because I’d grown quite a large real moustache under my fake one in twelve years’.

‘Another win to Gerry Tonstelhan, I guess’.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Gawler line passenger set for great day after altercation-free commute

17 October, 2018

17 October, 2018

Startling footage has emerged from a security camera on-board an Adelaide-bound Gawler train this morning showing an entirely incident-free trip....

Munno Para driverless bus somehow involved in road rage incident

17 July, 2019

17 July, 2019 1

A minibus that operates without anybody behind the steering wheel has somehow become embroiled in a road rage incident in...

Woman updates LinkedIn profile to include climbing Big Rocking Horse certificate

23 January, 2019

23 January, 2019

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Melanie Yearling of Birdwood doing whatever she can to enhance her LinkedIn profile for...

Farmers Union branded blood glucose meters to hit On The Run shelves in 2019

27 July, 2018

27 July, 2018

Capitalising on the effect of the nation’s highest iced coffee consumption, Farmers Union has taken the bold initiative of developing...

Victor Harbor opens new Youth Centre for local adolescents aged 55-70

9 July, 2018

9 July, 2018

In an attempt at engaging the region’s younger demographic, Victor Harbor has launched a hip new hangout for residents born...

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

21 January, 2019

21 January, 2019

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace...

Unique SA strain of virus now being found in Victoria

15 March, 2020

15 March, 2020

DIRK SPUD In worrying signs that we may be reaching a point of no return when it comes to its...

Noel’s Caravans jingle tops SA reggae charts for 728th consecutive week

19 October, 2018

19 October, 2018

For over a decade the laid back calypso beats and offbeat feeling of the Noel’s Caravans jingle has been so...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Maybe let’s also discuss changing the name of “Blackfellows Creek”

26 January, 2020

26 January, 2020

With discussions of changing the date of Australia Day firing up once again, some South Australians are focusing their energy...

SA Water announce new Adelaide theme park ‘Burst Water Main World’

8 August, 2019

8 August, 2019

In an attempt to diversify revenue streams ahead of its probable privatisation, SA Water has revealed plans to open its...

EXCLUSIVE: Turns out that worm from The Book Place was actually played by a giant tapeworm

10 July, 2020

10 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Here’s a nostalgia hit for kids who grew up in the 90s, remember the Bookworm? He was that...

Adelaide once again ranked as top Australian capital city alphabetically

15 June, 2018

15 June, 2018

For the 182nd year running, Adelaide has continued to shine as our nation’s top ranking capital city when ordered from A to Z.

Theology states St Clair is the Patron Saint of Motor Vehicle Theft

3 August, 2020

3 August, 2020

After minutes of research, religious scholars have uncovered that St Clair is the Patron Saint of Motor Vehicle Theft and...

South Australian banned from returning to Adelaide from Victoria Square

31 July, 2020

31 July, 2020

Alrighty. Strap yourselves in readers, because with a headline like that, this is surely going to be a pretty poor...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: