3 February, 2023

Showy Reynella family splash out on leather recliner for front porch

For as long as the Tonstelhans have lived on Highercombe Street in Reynella they have been trying to out-do their neighbours in a game of unrequited competition, most recently in a front porch sofa arms race.

The Tonstelhans were warned that a flashy front porch couch could be seen as ‘garish’ and ‘over-the-top’ by some of their neighbours, but that failed to stop Reynella’s resident show-offs from securing Harvey Norman’s most luxurious leather recliner.

‘We couldn’t let that bloody Franklin family get away with showing off like they were’, says Tonstelhan patriarch Garry.

‘They brought out that fabric sofa last Sunday and I could see what they were getting at. They thought we couldn’t afford anything like that, well…not only can the Tonstelhans afford the luxury of a sofa on our front porch, we can afford it on 24 months’ interest free’.

The purchase is not the only time Garry has bought into petty neighbourhood competitiveness, he explains: ‘The Smyths have that Wilderness College sticker on the bumper of their RAV4, so I thought “I’m not having that” and covered my back windscreen in stickers from every single Adelaide private school’.

They brought out that fabric sofa last Sunday and I could see what they were getting at. They thought we couldn’t afford anything like that

‘Or there was the time the Greenlings bought a caravan just to shove it in my face, so I thought “let’s see how they like it when I move one of those transportable buildings on to their front lawn”. Council made me move it after a couple of weeks, but I think I got my point across’.

Garry continues, ‘oh and the time that Joe Costello got that job as a real estate agent and kept parking his company car on the lawn across from us. I thought “you bloody show-off”. So I came up with this hilarious plan to kidnap his new boss and assume his identity’.

‘Then over the course of twelve years I convinced Joe that I was his real boss and that he was crazy when he said things like “I don’t remember Terry having a moustache” or “I’m pretty sure Terry was in a wheelchair when I first met him”’.

‘Then just before Christmas in 2013 I told him that he wouldn’t be getting a Christmas bonus and that his fuel card had been revoked. Should have seen the look on his face when I pulled off my fake moustache. It was hilarious, he was so confused, possibly because I’d grown quite a large real moustache under my fake one in twelve years’.

‘Another win to Gerry Tonstelhan, I guess’.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Turns out Christies Beach sludge spill just rejected Caleb Bond articles

13 November, 2018

13 November, 2018

A break-in at the Christies Beach sewage treatment plant has seen the nearby beach closed for a stretch of 200...

Police QR code blitz enabling that one high school mate to go full Pete Evans-mode on Facebook

17 May, 2021

17 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT When South Australian Police stopped Con Spiros just inside the door of Adelaide’s classiest venue, the Skycity Casino,...

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

23 January, 2020

23 January, 2020 1

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom...

Even 1079 Life FM hosts cringe at some of the Christian songs they have to play

6 March, 2022

6 March, 2022

Adelaide’s family friendly easy-listening radio station has long been known for the playing the latest inoffensive pop tunes, subtle messaging,...

Netflix to release Last Dance sequel about another team’s 97-98 former glory

17 May, 2020

17 May, 2020

As ‘The Last Dance’ documentary series about the 1997-1998 Chicago Bulls wraps up, Netflix has announced another series will be...

Stupid Klemzig resident gets on express bus again

1 October, 2019

1 October, 2019

For the fourth time in as many weeks, Branden Burg of Klemzig has once again managed to find himself on...

Salisbury mum returns to OTR to buy carton of ciggies with wheelbarrow full of shrapnel

5 January, 2019

5 January, 2019

After reportedly being denied being able to buy milk and bread with a few fifty cents pieces, the single mother...

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

2 February, 2019

2 February, 2019

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours...

Gepps Cross Home HQ responsible for 30% of SA divorces

10 February, 2022

10 February, 2022 1

Researchers have found that nearly a third of all South Australian divorces can be contributed directly to a single source,...

Desperate $5 Fringe show now accepting AfterPay

13 March, 2019

13 March, 2019

Photo credit: Abi Skipp Following several weeks of lower-than-expected ticket sales, the Garden of Unearthly Delights’ cheapest ticketed show — The...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

Adelaide Metro app update to feature better arrival time accuracy of non-existent buses

12 November, 2018

12 November, 2018

In the largest app update since the ‘randomly crashing’ feature Adelaide Metro has announced the newest app feature for commuters....

Person who calls The Grove “The Grove” clearly not from around here

28 July, 2022

28 July, 2022

A shopper in Adelaide’s north-eastern suburbs has turned a few heads this morning after referring to Golden Grove’s fourth best...

Woman queuing for bus on Grenfell St clearly doesn’t know how a line works

21 October, 2022

21 October, 2022

Despite queuing multiple times every work day for a bus, it seems that how an orderly line actually functions is...

Torrens Paddleboats now come with optional Hazmat Suit hire

12 July, 2022

12 July, 2022

With the River Torrens looking like absolute scunge recently (even by Torrens standards), the Paddleboat hire operators are now offering...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: