CATCH 22: Adelaide live music and flaking interior paint fans are rejoicing about the news of the Crown & Anchor being saved from development.
Thanks to a last-minute intervention by the Minister of Sticky Floors and Tagged Toilets, the beloved (or at least tolerated) live music venue will not be bulldozed to make way for “luxury” international student dorms with papier-mâché interior walls.
However, with the Crown & Anchor safe, there’s a very real chance it will continue to be a haven for a particular musical genre that, frankly, should have stayed buried with dial-up internet.
It is reported that despite the venue being saved, the flow-on impacts may be devastating. Primarily, your acquaintance’s terrible ska band (who you said you’d definitely go and check out some time) still being able to somehow get gigs.
In an announcement from the Minister of Sticky Floors and Tagged Toilets, Hon. Les Thanjake MP, stated ‘This is a monumental win for the Adelaide music scene’.
‘We can all rest assured that the hallowed stage of the Cranker will continue to host…uh…bands. Local bands. Many bands. Bands that…’ Minster Thanjake trailed off, with his eyes glazing over as he appeared to have a flashback to a particularly enthusiastic but confusing performance by local band “SKANKENSTEIN” back in ’99.
Outside the saved venue, a local enthused Rude Boy handing out poorly-designed and heavily-checkered gig flyers stuck to Door Dash vouchers stated ‘This is great news for my band, “The Crown & Skankers”, we’ve got a killer set coming up next Saturday. We’ll be playing “Monkey Man”, “Superman”, “Monkey Man” again, all the hits’.
Whilst the news of local ska being provided with a lifeline has been divisive, it is clear that the Crown & Anchor decision has had a positive impact on the local economy with checkered Vans and earplug sales recently skyrocketing.
Editor’s note: Ska actually fucken rules. Check out local ska band “The Overits!“
