24 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Plans for Adelaide Hills Theme Park ‘Magic Mount Lofty’ announced

The Adelaide Hills Council have announced development plans for a ‘new’ theme park at the state’s most popular hiking destination in a bid to increase tourism.

Hills Council representative Al D’Gate stated ‘people have had enough of all the boring nature of Mount Lofty, so we’ve decided to add a bit of excitement at the summit. And the best part is, we’ve saved a fair bit of money by utilising the remains of a theme-park that was demolished well over a decade ago’.

The theme park will block 90% of view from the summit, however visitors will be able to view the city via the Sky-Cycles attraction

Magic Mount Lofty will serve as a new meeting point for Adelaide Hills teenagers, tourists and crappy theme park enthusiasts. The new theme park will include most of the attractions of the Glenelg based Magic Mountain, including pinball machines, the shooting gallery, and of course, the waterslides.

Al D’Gate stated ‘yes, the waterslides are coming back, and when we get a sprinkling of snow, these will be converted into tobogganing hills much alike Mount Thebarton in the 90’s. In addition to this, anyone who has happened to hold on to their game tokens for 15 years, will be happy to know that these will be valid at Magic Mount Lofty’.

The theme park will block 90% of view from the summit, however visitors will be able to view the city via the Sky-Cycles attraction. The project is due to be completed in 2020, and although funded by private enterprise, the opening of the theme park will no doubt include Georgina Downer presenting a giant novelty cheque for some unknown reason.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Kultha Hier for the suggestion of this concept.

Related Posts

Seeing a gap in the market, all OTRs start serving pancakes 24/7

17 June, 2019

17 June, 2019

With the Pancake Kitchen no longer operating 24 hours a day during the week, the OTR overlords have announced the...

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

3 December, 2019

3 December, 2019

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate...

Bloke ordering a Halal Snack Pack at Adelaide yiros shop might as well be speaking another language

31 January, 2020

31 January, 2020

A tourist visiting from Sydney’s Newtown has confounded the owner of a North Adelaide yiros shop by attempting to order...

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

4 November, 2020

4 November, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT Ahead of tonight’s opening State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked) game tonight, the...

Gays Arcade forced to change name after experts confirm it’s more of a mall

12 July, 2019

12 July, 2019

The LGBTQIA community (Laneway, Galleria, Business, Trader, Quickie-Mart, Independent retailer, and Arcade) are rejoicing as experts have changed the name...

Councillor Anne Moran proposes demolishing all buildings over 1m tall

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Adelaide City Councillor and development containment officer Anne Moran will put to council a bold plan to demolish all permanent...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

Resident of Not In Service always has entire bus to himself

4 June, 2020

4 June, 2020

A resident of one of Adelaide’s lesser known inner-outer suburbs, Not In Service, has continued to regularly catch public transport...

Far-Ken Hall! Adelaide’s biggest plumber goes rural

2 October, 2019

2 October, 2019

Adelaide’s biggest plumbing business, Ken Hall Plumbers is expanding its operations across rural South Australia. Marketing manager for Ken Hall...

Mental health advocate lodges complaint over use of ‘Mad March’

5 March, 2019

5 March, 2019

In an unsurprising turn of events, a university academic with too much time on his hands over the summer break...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

Karen no longer knows how to threaten local businesses without Today Tonight

27 November, 2019

27 November, 2019

LET ME SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!: This morning as Clarence Gardens facebook-mum of two Karen Decrows, 43, set off for...

ShitAdelaide blocked us now we have to go outside to laugh at the poor

28 June, 2019

28 June, 2019

Having come to rely on a local Instagram account as our conduit to the outside world, our schedule had come...

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

Bus uses self-destruct function after learning it will be servicing new Hackham to Hillbank route

19 May, 2020

19 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT An Adelaide Metro bus who recently learned that it will be redeployed into a new route servicing some...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: