6 October, 2022

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty’s kilt

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results.

‘There’s definitely one main crash hotspot in Medindie,’ stated the Executive’s vice-caterer Kara Ceedent ‘right on the corner of Main North Road and Nottage Terrace’.

The yearly investigations revealed that motorists turning left onto Main North Road towards the city, had a higher chance of being distracted at this location compared to anywhere else in South Australia.

Our small team sat outside the motel 24 hours a day for this investigation. It was an extensive operation, but luckily some kind patrons in the hotel car-park supplied us with some stimulants

Kara continued, ‘our investigation team undertook an in-depth investigation to ascertain the causation of this road anomaly. We rented at South Australia’s premier hotel establishment, Scotty’s Motel, for months at a time to find out why all the accidents happened right here’.

The traffic survey found that the majority of motorists lean across their passenger seat to try and catch a glimpse up the kilt. Over the course of 2018, it was observed that this caused countless rear-end bingles, traffic obstructions, cars drifting onto the footpath for a closer look, and somehow traffic flowing in the opposite direction during peak hour several times a month.

Despite all of this, nobody has ever really to gain a perfect glimpse to see what is up there, so expert advice is that all motorists continue to look up the kilt when possible.

The Road And Car Executive is pleased they have found the cause of the majority of Medindie car accidents, and their hard work has paid off. Kara stated ‘our small team sat outside the motel 24 hours a day for this investigation. It was an extensive operation, but luckily some kind patrons in the hotel car-park supplied us with some stimulants that kept us awake for days at a time’.

Related Posts

Local dealer making absolute bank thanks to Illuminate Adelaide

8 July, 2022

8 July, 2022

Adelaide’s festival of lights (the non-religious one) has unintentionally stimulated the local economy, according to local stimulant economists. Adelaide Mail...

Annoying guy in office being sent to Victoria on ‘Special Assignment’ at 3:20 Tuesday

22 March, 2020

22 March, 2020

Following this morning’s ‘emergency meeting’ of the Management, Leadership and Everybody Except Jason Team, the office’s most annoying staff, Jason,...

Adelaide Council announces ‘Brother Sculpture’ to Malls Balls: The “Grote Scrote”

9 November, 2020

9 November, 2020

DAVID KNIGHT With the successful unveiling of the new pigeon statue in Rundle Mall last week, Adelaide City Council has...

You can still take the kids to Puzzle Park this school holidays, it’s now somehow safer

8 July, 2020

8 July, 2020

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

New “DogKeeper” package grants people $10,000 in Dogs Dollars for rent or Smirnoff Double Blacks

27 July, 2020

27 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As South Australia grapples with the ongoing economic impact of COVID-19, the Federal Government has moved to stimulate...

Advertiser finance editor absolutely qualified to review Fringe shows

4 March, 2019

4 March, 2019

As tightening budgets continue to put pressure on satirical newspaper The Advertiser’s shrinking newsroom, the annual festival season has once...

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

21 January, 2019

21 January, 2019

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace...

Farmers Union releases Iced Coffee flavoured LPG Gas. Don’t ask why, just buy it.

15 October, 2021

15 October, 2021

Since launching the Iced Coffee flavoured doughnut, the team at Farmer’s Union have quickly realised that the majority of you...

New SA tourism campaign just a 5 day live stream of weeping widow

2 September, 2019

2 September, 2019

South Australia’s tourism commission has unveiled a new marketing concept that is equal parts depressing and long, the two key...

SA girl Cassie Sainsbury reportedly excited for upcoming “White Wedding”

19 November, 2021

19 November, 2021

TOM STEWART With news breaking yesterday that local girl Cassandra Sainsbury is engaged, it is reported she is now looking...

Munno Para driverless bus somehow involved in road rage incident

17 July, 2019

17 July, 2019 1

A minibus that operates without anybody behind the steering wheel has somehow become embroiled in a road rage incident in...

Due to COVID-19 restrictions, Christmas Pageant postponed until at least September

16 June, 2020

16 June, 2020

It gets earlier every year, unless it doesn't.

SA Liberal Party discovers crafty new way to make up for drop in GST revenue

7 October, 2020

7 October, 2020

Those paying attention to state treasurer Rob Lucas this week would have seen that he was largely unperturbed by the...

Ingle Farm bachelor applies for ‘Farmer wants a wife’

8 February, 2019

8 February, 2019

Tired of the local dating scene and not being able to find a girl who will settle down, or even...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: