28 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty's kilt

Dan Schmidt

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results.

‘There’s definitely one main crash hotspot in Medindie,’ stated the Executive’s vice-caterer Kara Ceedent ‘right on the corner of Main North Road and Nottage Terrace’.

The yearly investigations revealed that motorists turning left onto Main North Road towards the city, had a higher chance of being distracted at this location compared to anywhere else in South Australia.

Our small team sat outside the motel 24 hours a day for this investigation. It was an extensive operation, but luckily some kind patrons in the hotel car-park supplied us with some stimulants

Kara continued, ‘our investigation team undertook an in-depth investigation to ascertain the causation of this road anomaly. We rented at South Australia’s premier hotel establishment, Scotty’s Motel, for months at a time to find out why all the accidents happened right here’.

The traffic survey found that the majority of motorists lean across their passenger seat to try and catch a glimpse up the kilt. Over the course of 2018, it was observed that this caused countless rear-end bingles, traffic obstructions, cars drifting onto the footpath for a closer look, and somehow traffic flowing in the opposite direction during peak hour several times a month.

Despite all of this, nobody has ever really to gain a perfect glimpse to see what is up there, so expert advice is that all motorists continue to look up the kilt when possible.

The Road And Car Executive is pleased they have found the cause of the majority of Medindie car accidents, and their hard work has paid off. Kara stated ‘our small team sat outside the motel 24 hours a day for this investigation. It was an extensive operation, but luckily some kind patrons in the hotel car-park supplied us with some stimulants that kept us awake for days at a time’.

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