25 May, 2022

Suburb of Paradise hit with false claims lawsuit

The north-eastern suburb of Paradise has found itself in legal trouble with a class action lawsuit being filed by thousands of residents, visitors, and international guests.

Lawyers leading the class action state that the suburb has intentionally misled the market, stating ‘by law, a suburb is not allowed to make statements that are incorrect or likely to create a false impression’.

Yes, we admit it is a nice enough suburb, but it hardly counts as Paradise

The lawyer leading the class action, Sue Urassof, continued ‘Yes, we admit it is a nice enough suburb, but it hardly counts as Paradise. No beaches, no palm-trees, very few handsome buffed guys wandering around with free cocktails, and believe me, I’ve been looking’.

‘There was one guy at the skate-park just wearing shorts and a pair of oversize Globes, we talked for a while, but the connection just wasn’t there’.

Defence lawyer, Margie Straight, denies the class action has any merit, ‘please, there is no case here. Go drive half an hour up Main North Road and then tell me this suburb isn’t Paradise’.

‘You got the buses, the pub, a couple of parks around, and don’t forget the church. If you love God, this is definitely Paradise, and who knows more about Paradise than those Christians, hey? I rest my case’.

The class action remains halted as lawyers establish how to sue a suburb.

in News
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