25 June, 2022

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

DAN SCHMIDT

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named “That Terrible Place” before trying to hide this bizarre choice by rebranding as “Tea Tree Plaza” once established. However, in recent years, it seems that there is certainly no hiding “That Terrible Place” is still apt as ever.

First of all, the place literally stinks like raw sewerage a lot of the time. Now, we’re not sure if this is the fault of centre management, Tea Tree Gully’s ongoing septic problems, or simply the odor that arises once you put a whole bunch of Modbury residents together, but man does That Terrible Place stink to high heaven. Let’s just say shoppers aren’t wearing those masks because of the COVID risk, it seems to be the only way to survive a quick trip to K-Mart and 42nd Street Cafe at this point.

Secondly, not only does it literally stink, it figuratively stinks also. Look, it’s always been known that if you’re looking for a high-end shopping experience in the north-east, Pelican Plaza has always been the glitzy place to go, but in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s TTP was a suitable second option if needed. But recently, it seems that angry derros and obnoxious teenagers outnumber the ineffective centre security by far.

It seems the centre’s slogan “Your one stop for shopping and fun” could officially be replaced with “What Are You Farken’ Lookin’ At?!” to better reflect the current feel of TTP. Adelaide Mail is led to believe that TTP’s INTERSPORT has never actually sold a Champion hoodie or cap, despite the retailer having to restock its shelves with these items every week.

Rather than fixing the smell or hiring security, it appears management feels that investing in parking inspectors to fine shoppers after they’ve had to endure all the sights and smells of the complex is the best way to maintain patronage.

And whilst we’re on parking, what has clearly been a genius move by TTP is extending the centre, not replacing the parking spaces lost, and then giving a quarter of prime parking spaces to a car wash business. This move is not only ridiculous for the reason that it results in fewer parking spaces, but everyone knows that if you leave your car parked anywhere at TTP long enough, you will have it cleaned for free from teenagers sitting on it.

Also, why the hell is some of the place carpeted? This isn’t that nice part of grandma’s house where you can’t take in any food or drinks, thousands of people are going to be walking, drinking and probably spitting on that carpet, so it seems like an incredibly odd and unhygienic choice for a major shopping centre.

We do admit, the recent alfresco extension of TTP has been done very well, and is particularly enticing if you enjoy paying double the price for the same meal you can get directly across the road.

Yes, it is truly a mystery as to why Australian’s aren’t spending as much at the shops anymore.

Related Posts

Adelaide in midst of annual coloured chalk shortage

7 November, 2018

7 November, 2018

‘Tis the season for Christmas pageants throughout the state, and with that comes the yearly coloured chalk supply shortage. Parents...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

State government announces replacement for Adelaide 500: The Royal Adelaide 500

21 May, 2021

21 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT With opposition to the cancellation of the Adelaide 500 reaching fever pitch the state government have announced that...

Karen no longer knows how to threaten local businesses without Today Tonight

27 November, 2019

27 November, 2019

LET ME SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!: This morning as Clarence Gardens facebook-mum of two Karen Decrows, 43, set off for...

Fewer baby girls being named ‘Elizabeth’ in South Australia compared to other states for unknown reason

30 May, 2018

30 May, 2018

Researchers for the University of Adelaide are completely baffled at the newly discovered abnormality of fewer females bearing the name...

North Adelaide Roosters announce 78 co-captains

4 February, 2019

4 February, 2019

Following suit of the State’s AFL clubs and following their key to success, excess, North Adelaide Football Club have decided to...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found...

Woman scurries from David Jones building to avoid that hand cream guy

25 November, 2019

25 November, 2019

A Torrensville woman has aborted her first attempt at Christmas shopping for the year after being chased out of the...

Noel’s Caravans jingle tops SA reggae charts for 728th consecutive week

19 October, 2018

19 October, 2018

For over a decade the laid back calypso beats and offbeat feeling of the Noel’s Caravans jingle has been so...

Port performs angry costume change to make their closing argument through the power of song

9 May, 2021

9 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT The Port Power Football Club have turned up the heat in their enduring fight to wear their favourite...

South Australia officially changing State slogan to “So what High School did you go to?”

17 September, 2018

17 September, 2018

Since discontinuing “The Festival State”, the South Australian Slogan Association (SASA) has decided on a new official state slogan after...

Burnside teen reports child abuse after dad refuses to buy her BMW X3

28 August, 2019

28 August, 2019

A 16-year-old Burnside girl has resorted to reporting her father to the Department for Child Protection after he refused to...

Adelaide Mail launches new kids’ alternate news service “Below The News”

4 February, 2022

4 February, 2022

South Australian children have grown tired of being pushed a constant mainstream narrative by the Adelaide produced “Behind The News”...

New “DogKeeper” package grants people $10,000 in Dogs Dollars for rent or Smirnoff Double Blacks

27 July, 2020

27 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As South Australia grapples with the ongoing economic impact of COVID-19, the Federal Government has moved to stimulate...

Local Dad refuses Astrazeneca because he’s heard Astras have a bad name

13 August, 2021

13 August, 2021

54 year old Cam Mirra of Elizabeth has told his adult children that despite being eligible, he won’t get the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: