28 May, 2023

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

DAN SCHMIDT

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named “That Terrible Place” before trying to hide this bizarre choice by rebranding as “Tea Tree Plaza” once established. However, in recent years, it seems that there is certainly no hiding “That Terrible Place” is still apt as ever.

First of all, the place literally stinks like raw sewerage a lot of the time. Now, we’re not sure if this is the fault of centre management, Tea Tree Gully’s ongoing septic problems, or simply the odor that arises once you put a whole bunch of Modbury residents together, but man does That Terrible Place stink to high heaven. Let’s just say shoppers aren’t wearing those masks because of the COVID risk, it seems to be the only way to survive a quick trip to K-Mart and 42nd Street Cafe at this point.

Secondly, not only does it literally stink, it figuratively stinks also. Look, it’s always been known that if you’re looking for a high-end shopping experience in the north-east, Pelican Plaza has always been the glitzy place to go, but in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s TTP was a suitable second option if needed. But recently, it seems that angry derros and obnoxious teenagers outnumber the ineffective centre security by far.

It seems the centre’s slogan “Your one stop for shopping and fun” could officially be replaced with “What Are You Farken’ Lookin’ At?!” to better reflect the current feel of TTP. Adelaide Mail is led to believe that TTP’s INTERSPORT has never actually sold a Champion hoodie or cap, despite the retailer having to restock its shelves with these items every week.

Rather than fixing the smell or hiring security, it appears management feels that investing in parking inspectors to fine shoppers after they’ve had to endure all the sights and smells of the complex is the best way to maintain patronage.

And whilst we’re on parking, what has clearly been a genius move by TTP is extending the centre, not replacing the parking spaces lost, and then giving a quarter of prime parking spaces to a car wash business. This move is not only ridiculous for the reason that it results in fewer parking spaces, but everyone knows that if you leave your car parked anywhere at TTP long enough, you will have it cleaned for free from teenagers sitting on it.

Also, why the hell is some of the place carpeted? This isn’t that nice part of grandma’s house where you can’t take in any food or drinks, thousands of people are going to be walking, drinking and probably spitting on that carpet, so it seems like an incredibly odd and unhygienic choice for a major shopping centre.

We do admit, the recent alfresco extension of TTP has been done very well, and is particularly enticing if you enjoy paying double the price for the same meal you can get directly across the road.

Yes, it is truly a mystery as to why Australian’s aren’t spending as much at the shops anymore.

Related Posts

Crows fan now hoping for losses just to keep Power out of finals

22 July, 2022

22 July, 2022

Seventy eight year old Karen DeKrowes has been a passionate Adelaide Crows Junior Member for many years, but is now...

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

Man scores entire week stay at Scotty’s Motel with $50 Travel Voucher

6 January, 2021

6 January, 2021

As one of the dozens of South Australians lucky enough to get a Great State Voucher after the Tourism Commission’s...

Demolished North East Road servo to be subdivided into multiple North East Road servos

17 January, 2023

17 January, 2023

A Collinswood service station on North East Road is currently undergoing demolition, leaving many residents and commuters wondering as to...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

Fringe ends, Arj Barker once again cryogenically frozen for 11 months

23 March, 2022

23 March, 2022

After another successful Adelaide Fringe Festival for our FIFO comedians, many ore once again returning to their cryogenic freezers until...

False Advertising: New South Road plans shows vehicles actually moving

14 December, 2021

14 December, 2021

With the longstanding South Australian tradition of South Road upgrades looking to continue for at least another three generations, the...

“Menz” Confectionery to change name to “Personz”

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020 1

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD?: In a bid to gain greater market share and simultaneously not offend anyone, Menz Confectionery, the creator...

Dad starts saving good Pageant spot now

24 October, 2019

24 October, 2019

With less than three weeks until the 2019 Christmas Pageant kicks off, father of three, Doug Float, is dedicated to...

Masks mandates for Adelaide public transport to return because you’re all ugly and stink

30 September, 2022

30 September, 2022

One week after the requirement for masks to be worn on public transport was lifted, it has been decided that...

Adelaide guy feels like a big man after getting that finger wave thing on KI

20 August, 2021

20 August, 2021

With few decent options available for interstate or overseas travel, Adelaide man Kane Garew decided to head to Kangaroo Island...

11 Adelaide Things From the 90’s You’ll Only Remember If You’re Between 21 and 140 Years Old!

18 June, 2021

18 June, 2021

MATTHEW DEVITT 1990: Dazzleland doesn’t open yet “Hey kids! As you all know, it’s late 1989! How would you like...

Barnacle Bill showbag already starting to smell

19 September, 2022

19 September, 2022

It has only been one week since William Cruztayzion made the financial misdeed of attending the Royal Adelaide Show with...

New real time fuel app helps motorists find cheapest petrol by simply eliminating OTR servos

14 May, 2021

14 May, 2021

The new RAA real-time fuel app provides South Australian motorists with current information about where to find the cheapest nearby...

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: