8 December, 2022

Local dealer making absolute bank thanks to Illuminate Adelaide

Adelaide’s festival of lights (the non-religious one) has unintentionally stimulated the local economy, according to local stimulant economists.

Adelaide Mail reporters met with somewhat-illegitimate businessperson P. Lugg *(first name withheld for protection reasons), who we just happened to already be going to see anyway on a completely unrelated matter. Paul stated ‘This festival has been great for my business. I’ve got my rent paid for the next two years thanks to the “Light Cycles” event alone’.

It appears that the only thing South Australian’s love more than looking at shining lights, is chemically enhancing the experience of looking at those shining lights.

Paul L. *(surname withheld for protection reasons) continued by stating ‘It’s great to see my business is not only recovering post-covid, but also booming peak-covid’ stated Paul Lugg, the local drug dealer ‘Which reminds me, are you guys gonna pay for your last lot or are we going to have some issues again?’

Please help.

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