MATT FREEMAN
With the Washington Redskins finally realizing the bloody obvious, that their nickname is actually racially offensive, the Adelaide 36ers have decided to get on the front foot and change their nickname to avoid any future controversy. Whilst the Adelaide Blacks are also considering a name change, it seems to be prime time for our basketball team to announce this potential change.
The 36ers were named after the year 1836 when the first white people settled in South Australia. However, some Sherlock Holmesesque investigating by the 36ers historical committee has revealed that there were actually people living in South Australia before then, as their Public Relations Officer Britt Maher explains.
‘Look, this was a big surprise to us that there were people here before the first fleet to South Australia, because nothing comes before first right? Anyway, we consulted with a bunch of archaeologists and other nerds that don’t play sport and they tell us that Aboriginal people were here between 40,000 and 70,000 years ago’ Britt stated.
‘We wanted to give a precise number to our nickname, as we need to have the merch made, but the eggheads said they can’t give us an exact number and it changes as more evidence is revealed, and we’re not getting new merch made every time there’s a scientific breakthrough, so we’ve settled on “Adelaide BCers” as the team name’.
The news to change the name of a sports team has not surprisingly been met with extreme anger from boomers who feel that millennials are too easily angered.
Upon hearing the news, one joint facebook account user(s), DaveAndJill posted:
“WHEN WILL THE BLOODY PC MOB STOP !.,. I havent never watched BASKETBALL, for reasons I wont go into here, but I WILL BOYCOT and neverr watch again !.. HOW DARE they change the name of a sports team I never cared about, People need to stop BEING So easily offended!. IF the NUMBER 36 doesnt affend me, then It shouldnt offend anyone CASE CLOSED. What”s Next, change the name of BlackForest Cake?!, IF YOU DON:”T LOVE IT LEAVE,. People are to SOFT these days!! We smacked are kids all the time n they turned out fine just wish they would call us soon. Share n like if u agree, 99% wont. Australia flag emoji, angry face emoji, flower emoji. Sent via iPad.”
More to come, once we can figure out what the hell they were trying to get at.
