14 May, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Jase reckons he could have his own Fringe show, mates agree

After having watched exactly 275 minutes of stand up comedy in his life, Jason ‘Jase’ Breadhand became convinced of his ability throw together his own stand-up comedy show in next year’s Adelaide Fringe after watching Saturday night’s all-British variety show ‘BOLLOCKS! The All British Comedy Spectacular’.

Whilst Breadhand has no previous experience in performing, writing or public speaking he has watched several Michael McIntyre clips on Facebook, a few rants about gun control in America by Jim Jefferies and Eddie Murphy’s Delirious as a 16-year-old stoner.

‘I reckon I could do it’, claims Breadhand, ‘me and my mates are piss funny compared to those Poms on Saturday night. Sammy and Chip were having a laugh saying that we should just do a show where it’s us on stage talking shit like we usually do. Be funnier than that Judith Lucy bird’.

‘We were just mucking around, but I thought “nah, why not? I should bloody do it”. Now more than ever the world needs to hear my voice’, continued Breadhand, presumably pointing out that the world has too few white men sharing their thoughts on why they think ‘all politicians are dickheads’ and that ‘cyclists should pay registration to use the roads or fuck off back to Melbourne’.

Me and my mates are piss funny compared to those Poms on Saturday night

‘We’re also gonna do one of those Betoota-type websites they have, ‘cause they’re funny as fuck. All you need to do is take a half-arsed observation, chuck it in a headline and then repeat the same joke over and over throughout a 250 word article’.

‘Nobody reads the articles anyway so you can just write whatever you want and chuck on a headline that appeals to people’s narcissism so that they can tag their mates on Facebook. Piece of piss’.

Related Posts

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

Goodwood Road cemetery to add severed head sculpture to existing public artwork

5 July, 2020

5 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT A Goodwood Road cemetery is looking to increase the number of sculptures depicting severed appendages in a renewed...

Murray Bridge to build Big Savoury Slice

14 August, 2019

14 August, 2019

In an effort to boost tourism numbers and become one of those ‘random big thing’ regional towns, the rural City...

Office worker finds any excuse to tell you that she did City To Bay

16 September, 2019

16 September, 2019

You don’t typically see Sarah from marketing at the office before 9am at best. And to see her away from...

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

13 August, 2018

13 August, 2018

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns...

Daniel Andrews to become new face of Victoria Bitter

19 June, 2020

19 June, 2020

A HARD EARNED THIRST FOR WHAT SA HAS: “Why would you want to go there?” remarked Victorian Premier Andrews earlier...

“It’s a myth that everyone from Adelaide knows each other…but yeah, I know Matt”

15 January, 2021

15 January, 2021

A travelling Adelaide worker has once again reinforced the the myth that all South Australians happen to know each other...

Frequent Marion shopper develops sophisticated algorithm to avoid charity workers

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Rosaline Baker, 56, of Warradale enjoys nothing more than a good shopping spree at nearby Westfield Marion. It’s local, convenient...

Instead of going to The Show, kids simply empty mum’s wallet into bin

30 August, 2019

30 August, 2019

Katalina Glispers has countless fond memories of the Royal Adelaide Show as a child. From losing her two front teeth...

Adelaide Mail calendars just 12 pictures of Tea Tree Plaza done in MS Paint

23 October, 2020

23 October, 2020

Because we haven’t figured out how to put an annoying paywall on this site and our website domain renewal is...

Outrage as advertising projected on to Adelaide’s most famous cultural landmark

9 October, 2018

9 October, 2018

The iconic brick façade of Adelaide’s West End Brewery will be used to advertise a party supplies shop after SA premier Stephen...

Vista local resigned to the fact it’s just easier to say they’re from Tea Tree Gully

29 October, 2018

29 October, 2018

‘Vista? Do you mean Para Vista?’ is the age old question that Britney Nicholls has heard time and time again...

Man actually chooses to sit in this seat

26 April, 2019

26 April, 2019

With the vast majority of city commuters taking this week off, Kramdin Numpteedu of Klemzig has had his fair share...

We rank Adelaide’s top (and only) 3 working digital Adelaide Metro signs

18 November, 2019

18 November, 2019

What was meant to be Adelaide Mail’s first barely readable, every item on a different page, advertisement clogged ‘Top 10 List’, has...

Disgraced Prince Sent on Retreat to Andrews Farm

19 November, 2019

19 November, 2019

In a move as ill-conceived as allowing Prince Andrew to give the BBC an interview about his relationship with disgraced...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: