24 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Jase reckons he could have his own Fringe show, mates agree

After having watched exactly 275 minutes of stand up comedy in his life, Jason ‘Jase’ Breadhand became convinced of his ability throw together his own stand-up comedy show in next year’s Adelaide Fringe after watching Saturday night’s all-British variety show ‘BOLLOCKS! The All British Comedy Spectacular’.

Whilst Breadhand has no previous experience in performing, writing or public speaking he has watched several Michael McIntyre clips on Facebook, a few rants about gun control in America by Jim Jefferies and Eddie Murphy’s Delirious as a 16-year-old stoner.

‘I reckon I could do it’, claims Breadhand, ‘me and my mates are piss funny compared to those Poms on Saturday night. Sammy and Chip were having a laugh saying that we should just do a show where it’s us on stage talking shit like we usually do. Be funnier than that Judith Lucy bird’.

‘We were just mucking around, but I thought “nah, why not? I should bloody do it”. Now more than ever the world needs to hear my voice’, continued Breadhand, presumably pointing out that the world has too few white men sharing their thoughts on why they think ‘all politicians are dickheads’ and that ‘cyclists should pay registration to use the roads or fuck off back to Melbourne’.

Me and my mates are piss funny compared to those Poms on Saturday night

‘We’re also gonna do one of those Betoota-type websites they have, ‘cause they’re funny as fuck. All you need to do is take a half-arsed observation, chuck it in a headline and then repeat the same joke over and over throughout a 250 word article’.

‘Nobody reads the articles anyway so you can just write whatever you want and chuck on a headline that appeals to people’s narcissism so that they can tag their mates on Facebook. Piece of piss’.

Related Posts

Port Elliot millennials start petition to change name of Boomer Beach

22 November, 2019

22 November, 2019

Undertaking the ultimate form of slacktivism, Port Elliot’s entire millennial population (a total of sixteen residents) have started an online...

State Government to reduce suburban Adelaide to one bus route

20 January, 2019

20 January, 2019

In a bid to increase efficiency across Adelaide’s struggling suburban bus network, the State Government has moved to remove all...

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

Man goes to Glenelg for New Year’s under impression it may be good

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

A local Adelaide man will tonight undertake what many South Australians have fallen trap to in the past. As a...

MPs really confused around sudden interest in their ICA Competition

4 September, 2020

4 September, 2020

South Australian MPs have remained tight lipped around a current ICAC (Indoor Cricket Association Competition) investigation. Not because they have...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas will probably settle for Parabanks gig again

26 October, 2018

26 October, 2018

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

Buffalo replica replica to honour memory of Buffalo replica

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Just hours after it was announced that Glenelg’s landmark Buffalo restaurant would be demolished due to its state of disrepair,...

Bowden plant sale customer will definitely keep them alive this time

6 May, 2019

6 May, 2019

Serial houseplant murderer Juniper Cortisol may have a track record in buying and subsequently killing all of her previous houseplants,...

Push to save The Thebby so that bands can continue to skip it on tours

9 July, 2019

9 July, 2019

Rich in tradition, it’s the Adelaide live music venue that has been skipped by thousands of bands on their Australian...

Modbury resident angered by suggestion she lives in Adelaide’s northern suburbs

14 June, 2018

14 June, 2018

Modbury resident Taryn Cooke has lashed out at fellow co-workers for mistakenly suggesting that she hails from the northern suburbs...

Save big with your SAFM 107 Card at these places today!

27 March, 2019

27 March, 2019

Here at Adelaide Mail, we’ve got some pretty powerful friends in high places, which means our proverbial fingers are on...

Hinkley, Pyke given 3-year contract extensions to teach them a lesson

23 July, 2019

23 July, 2019

In light of two equally inconsistent seasons, both South Australian AFL clubs have found themselves scratching their heads at what...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

Adelaide man thinks shirt smelling like smoke is the biggest issue as hundreds flee homes

21 November, 2019

21 November, 2019

As residents of Yorke Peninsula have fled their homes overnight, only to hear this morning that their property is lost,...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: